Dear Whoever,
Mia signed me up for counseling at the school. She tells me it’s for my own good, and for my mental health, but I think it’s just because I’m the only one so far who hasn’t cried, not where anyone can see anyway. She needs me to stay strong for everyone, to be the glue that keeps everyone together. I’ve done a pretty good job of it so far. I’m good at hiding #FF0000 ">emotion #0040FF ">emotions., so good that I didn’t even cry at the funeral. That’s another reason I’m glad I switched schools. I was getting sick of the nickname “Heartless”.
Who am I? Am I the girl who just lost her parents? Am I the girl who doesn’t talk to anybody, who doesn’t do anything? I used to know who I was, but ever since they died it’s like someone took my student I.D., shredded it and said, “You’re not that person anymore!” I used to be a cheerleader, but I quit. I just don’t have the heart anymore. And I was never that much of a cheerleading type anyway, the school didn’t have a gymnastics program and the cheer squad was a last resort.
Even when I was on the squad I was never popular. Never looked at in the hallway, people never said that they wanted to be me. But I was okay with that. I liked being able to stick my toe in both sides of the pool at once. But more often then not I’d pull out my foot and dip it in the trailer trash side. My brother-in-law may be rich, but my family certainly isn’t. I was born in the same trailer I was raised in. That was the one time I almost cried, when they said (meaning when Clark said) they had sold it. It was best for everyone they said, time to start new, they said. Bull.
And then there’s Michael. I don’t know what gives him the right to walk out on us for eight years, and then show up just like he left, abruptly. Once I came down he got right to the point, saying that because he was the oldest he thought he should have my custody. I told him that was bullshit, and to get the fuck out. He slapped me as soon as the words left my mouth. “What would Mom and Dad say?” He shouted. “I don’t know,” I screamed back, “But they wouldn’t have cared! I’ve been talking like that for years! But you wouldn’t know that, would you, you low-life, back-stabbing, coward! You haven’t been around, so you have no right to correct me.”
After finishing my speech I ran to Brian and buried my face in his chest. He held me tightly as he looked at Michael. “You should leave. Now.” Michael stood up and walked out, but he was back the next day with a couple of suitcases, saying he had nowhere else to stay. “How bout the gutter?” I suggested, but that was quickly ruled out. Damn.
Sometimes I think they all blame me. For my #FF0000 ">parents #0000FF ">parents' deaths, I mean. It is kind of my fault. I told them to hurry, I told them not to be late. It was Christmas, it was snowing and they called saying they’d be late. I got pissed because no matter what we’re going through at the time we always manage to have Christmas together. So I screamed at them to get there, I heard Mom tell Dad to speed up a little, and then I heard their screams as the car flew off the road.
I will never forgive myself and never forget those sounds. I couldn’t move as I held the phone to my ears, and I stood there frozen until the car stopped rotating. Hearing the grinding of the car as it crashed into the rocks and smashed my parents beyond recognition was one of the worst sounds of my life. It took me five minutes to realize that Mom’s phone was still on, and that’s when I started screaming.
That’s the only way to spend your Christmas, a two hour drive to the hospital, huddled up in the back seat. Then the fifteen minute drive to the morgue. Then us all going back there and the only way we recognize our parents is the jewelry they show us. Yep, my idea of a perfect Christmas. And then we kicked off New Years with a funeral. My idea of a wonderful holiday season.
And my idea of a perfect life is going to a school where no one knows me, and where I can just blend into the #FF0000 ">back round #0000FF ">background is a single word. Where no one points at me, stares, whispers behind my back. Where I don’t have to say a word.
Cody
She put the letter in the stump, and walked out of the clearing. Cody knew she had to hurry, or else she would be late for school. And that would be bad, she had already been late three times this week and if it happened again, the school board would notify Mia and Clark. “Like they would even care.” Cody muttered. Mia was almost eight months pregnant, and all she did was cry and puke, and cry some more. Cody hardly ever saw Mia come out of the bedroom, except when she was yelling at her or Brian.
And then there was Michael. Cody still couldn’t figure him out, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. He left, he came back expecting a big welcome, only to find everyone gone and that the trailer had new owners. And his parents dead, and his family torn to shreds.
Cody peddled into the school yard just as the first bell rang. “Gotta hurry.” she said as she locked her bike to the rack. She ran down the halls, and burst into homeroom just as the last bell rang. “So nice of you to join us, Mrs. Daniels.” Mr. Burton said icily. “I was just about to mark you absent.” he added as he made a notation in his record book and slammed it shut. Oh, suck it you bastard. She thought as she made her way over to her seat.
She pulled out her history textbook, determined to finish her homework. She had barely begun studying when she felt someone staring at her. Cody looked up into eyes clearer than the summer sky, eyes that were such a brilliant #FF0000 ">shad[color=#0000FF ]e[/color] of blue that it felt like they were piercing into your very soul. He was the guy every girl dreamed of, you know, tall, athletic, hot. His hair was #FF0000 ">a #0000FF ">unneeded auburn, and coupled with his face, which was the face of every guy Cody had ever dreamed of made for a breath taking sight.
She looked down quickly and pulled her hood up. She didn’t like people staring at her, it made her feel like they were judging her, and that they didn’t like what they saw. She felt his eyes on her back for the rest of the class, and when the bell rang she got out of there as quickly as she could without running. Cody hated school, almost as much as she hated herself.
She opened up her locker, grabbed her books and headed off to her next class. The day went by just like all the other days, quick and virtually painless. No one spoke to her, and Cody didn’t bother to say hello to anyone. She walked out of the building hours later and drew in a breath. And let it out in a huff when she saw who was standing beside a Jeep right in front of the building.
“Hop in,” said Michael as he opened the door and stepped back. She glared at him. “When hell freezes over.” Cody retorted as she made her way over to the rack and unlocked her bike. “I’m not taking no for an answer.” Michael stated as he moved in front of her. “Well, you’re going to have to because I’m not getting in that vehicle.” He grabbed her arm. “Oh, yes, you are.” “Watch it big brother.” Cody spat the words out as she pulled from his grip. “All I have to do is start kicking and screaming and it’s a night in the slammer for you.”
He paled. “You wouldn’t.” he growled. She stared at him defiantly. “Watch me. I’m not the innocent little girl anymore, I know how to take care of myself. So get your scrawny ass back in the car and go crawl back into the hell hole you came out of. I am never going to forgive you.” She ran from him and jumped on the bike. Before he could answer, Cody was already gone, and he found himself staring at her as she faded into the distance.
Cody pedaled fast and hard, not caring where she was headed. She just needed to be alone, needed to escape. At that moment she would’ve given anything to have her parents back, if only for a second. She swerved to hit a passing car, ignoring the driver, who shouted at her. “Crazy person!” she glanced back quickly, “Ain’t the only one bud.” She mumbled, “Everyone I know seems to be crazy.”
She looked up, and hit the brakes suddenly. Cody knew where she was. “Crap.” She muttered. Cody had somehow steered herself to the rich side of town. Not the side she lived on, but the other side that was for people who had so much money they could fill a swimming pool with it. Cody glanced at a street sign, and knew where she was. Cutting across the road, she took the path that she knew very well, but she had never used it from this end of town.
It took her a while, but soon Cody coasted into the clearing. Then she froze. The boy sitting on the stump looked up quickly, holding a piece of paper in his hands. Cody cursed, sprinted up, and glanced at the paper. Sure enough, it was one of her letters. “Why do you have this?” she asked icily. The boy was still trying to gather his wits. ‘I, uhh, I uh….” She slapped him across the face and the stormed toward her bike. A hand on her arm stopped Cody.
“Look, I just found it a couple days ago okay? I’m sorry for intruding on your privacy.” She stared into his eyes. “This isn’t just my privacy,” she said, “these are my personal thoughts, and you had no right to them.” He let her go. “I know, and I said I’m sorry…” Cody cut him off. “I don’t need your apology, I need you to stay outta my business.” She said as she mounted her bike and started to ride away.
“Wait up!” He called as he jumped on his own set of wheels and followed close on her tail. “Not a chance!” She shot over her shoulder as she doubled her pace. “Look ,I said I was sorry.” He shouted as he came up beside her. “What more do you want?” #FF0000 ">cody #0000FF ">capitalize. tried to speed up, but she was going as fast as she could. “You to stay away.” She answered truthfully. “Fine.” he said as he hit the brakes.
She burst out of the trees and on #0000FF ">to the main road. She saw what was coming, just before it happened, and didn’t get a chance to hit the brakes. The boy watched with horror as Cody hit the truck head on, and flew several feet in the air. She came to rest on the side of the road, and when he could move he hurried to her side. His gaze was met by a pair of eyes, that as soon as they saw him, closed slowly.
Very little corrections this time. Nice work! I love the story!
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