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The Battle for 2020

by Horisun

“We’re losing ground. More of our numbers have fallen to the plague, and those who aren’t feverish are being eaten alive by the hornets. Donald Trump has joined forces with the Karens, and the walking Jellyfish are closing in on us. I’m so sorry Commander, but I’m afraid…” The messenger drops his head, and I can hear him exhale a shaky breath, “… I’m afraid it’s over.”

I take a step back, and clench my fists, “No.” I say, “It’s not over yet. We’re still here!” I spread my arms wide, as I speaking to the whole room, “We’re not dead till we die, right? We can still do this!”

For a moment, there is silence, but then I see Tom Nook struggle to his feet, “I believe in us! As long as we have each other, and Switches, we can do it!”

I turn again as Minecraft: Caves and Cliffs stands up, “I’ve survived for ten long years, I can survive 2020!”

Smash Bros pats Minecraft on the back, and smiles around the room, “And if we can be friends, we can battle Murder Hornets!”

Then the Hunger Games Prequal enters the room, “It isn’t over until the Mockingjay sings!”

A Cute Dog barks, and fills the room with hope, I feel my spirits rise.

She Ra Season Five Ends On a Good Note cheers, and suddenly, I’m cheering too. And then the whole room is cheering.

Maybe we can survive this year. Maybe we can fight the giant-

“MURDER HORNETS!” Someone screams, as the bases door explodes, “They’ve found us! We’re all going to die!”

I turn to the sight of giant, man eating, horrendous looking, world-defying mutated bumblebees at our doorstep.

“Everyone for themselves!” Someone screeches.

“No, we can do this! Everyone, remember the cute dog you saw today! That’s what your fighting for!” But my voice was drowned out by a chorus of;

“Ladies, I demand to speak to your manager!”

“The Karens! We’re done for!”

“Protect the elderly!”

“COVID wiped them out, remember!”

I wanted to curl up into a ball. Panic, and death, and destruction surrounded me. I couldn’t escape it.

I watched as everything I ever cared about fell victim to it. As Soccer Practice was enveloped by the Virus, as the Beach became off limits, as the Toilet Paper was ripped from the shelves.

I looked up, and saw Karen standing over me.

Facebook in her hand.

This was it, my last few seconds before she unleashed her signature minions on me…

And then, with a loud crash, Karen fell to the ground.

In her place was an alien holding a gun.

“Sup guys.”

I watched in awe as legions of Green people rolled into the bunker, taking down the Murder Hornets, Giant Jelly Fish, and Karens with ease.

“W-Where’d you come from?” I managed to say through my shock.

The Alien scoffed, “We’ve been here the whole time, you just forgot.”

“Oh.” I said, staring down at my feet. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

“No problem.” Said the Alien, “That’s what heroes do.”

And then they were off.

Authors Note:

I wrote this at three o' clock in the morning, so there are (absolutely) a lot of mistakes here.

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Points: 158
Reviews: 3

Fri Jan 15, 2021 2:21 am
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NateAtNight says...

Oh, my god. This is great. You seriously wrote this at 3am? :) I loved the Karen part.

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29 Reviews

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Fri Oct 23, 2020 8:44 pm
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Ave38 says...

I needed this.

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Fri Oct 23, 2020 7:44 pm
cidrianwritersguild wrote a review...

This thing is so ridiculous in so many places and I love it so much. It's like READING five minutes of memes. I was going to wonder where the idea for this came from, and then I read the footnote about how you wrote it at three in the morning and it all clicked into place. I have but one question, and that is, who are you/we supposed to be in this scenario? It feels like it's just "the common man" who's the commander in this scenario, and I like it because it's the only person in the story who keeps their head when everybody gets killed by Karens and all the Karens get killed by aliens. Love the alien ex machina by the way. Overall, it's a really ridiculous story and that makes it so awesome.

Horisun says...

Thank you! I was basically half asleep when I forced myself back up to write this XD

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31 Reviews

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Reviews: 31

Thu Oct 15, 2020 1:12 pm
omer wrote a review...

Hey Horisun! That's such a great story. It's funny and a little sad at the same time. It has hope and I like it. Here are my notes:

"'I’m so sorry Commander, but I’m afraid…' The messenger drops his head, and I can hear him exhale a shaky breath, '… I’m afraid it’s over.'”
A tiny thing that just bothered me a little - I'd add a little more of the sentence of the messenger at the first time he speaks, so it'd be clearer he means he's afraid in a way he is concerned and not scared:
"'I’m so sorry Commander, but I’m afraid *it's*…' The messenger drops his head, and I can hear him exhale a shaky breath, '… I’m afraid it’s over.'”
"I spread my arms wide, as I speaking to the whole room."
As I speak. :)
“MURDER HORNETS!” Someone screams, as the bases door explodes
“Everyone for themselves!” Someone screeches.
That part is really funny. You don't need the capital S after the qoutes.
“No, we can do this! Everyone, remember the cute dog you saw today! That’s what your fighting for!!"
You're instead of your.
That's it! Good job!!

Horisun says...

Thank you for the review!

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59 Reviews

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Tue Oct 13, 2020 11:51 am
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QuoolQuo says...

This was beautiful.

Horisun says...

Aw, thanks!

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Tue Oct 13, 2020 12:08 am
WinnyWriter wrote a review...

Oh. Wow. Great. Absolutely great. I laughed out loud in the library. I love how you worked so many 2020 things in there, or if they weren't necessarily 2020 exclusive things, they appear very era relevant. It's totally like a satire sort of thing, and I am so impressed, just for the humor and creativity. I will have to admit, I did not catch all of the references, but your work is amazing!

My favorite line was probably, "It's not over until the Mockingjay sings!" If not that one, then definitely, "Ladies, I demand to speak to your manager!" along with, "The Karens! We're done for!" I totally laughed.

Great job. I don't think I need to critique much because it's a 3 a.m. writing and because I get the impression it's not necessarily supposed to be super proper writing....another characteristic of this era in itself. LOL :) Once again, I really like!

Horisun says...

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D

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Sat Oct 10, 2020 9:53 am
Vincian wrote a review...

Hey there Horisun! I see that you wrote this at three in the morning, which is an absolute MOOD but as the official lorekeeper of 2020, I have to say that there are some events missing in this ongoing struggle of 2020.

I have to be honest, the murder hornets are quite a large part of this story, which is quite ironic seeing as they were kind of forgotten about by the actual writers of 2020. I like that you have a rallying cry of some of the good things within this year, but where is The Good Place series finale?? I'm just kidding, I only say that because I literally just finished watching it, BUT it did end in the beginning of 2020.

There's potential here for a good story (not that this isn't good!! It really is, and it's a funny story to read) that parallels 2020, because 2020 was supposed to be that year where everything changed, right? I remember a lot of people saying "2020 IS THE YEAR OF CHANGE" and the spirits were so high entering 2020. But, the fires in Australia, Kobe dying, climate change, those things kind of dampened spirits, but it definitely wasn't nearly the end. COVID hit the world, and you called it a plague which technically isn't correct? This is such a nitpick, but according to Google a plague is a bacterial disease whereas COVID is a viral infection. Seriously, I don't know why this is a distinction. Maybe someone with more medical knowledge than me can explain it, BUT it is what it is. I would love to see some kind of timeline here of things that happened in 2020, and I like that you have a bit of it, but I also feel like there's not enough mention of the, well, the elephant in the room that is the pandemic. Perhaps you could implement it with the Karens where they have masks under their noses or they're saying that wearing masks is a right and they can choose not to do it. Honestly, this is a series you could definitely continue.

I'd love to see the ending be "Hindsight is 2020" because that is literally the perfect ending to something like this

Horisun says...

Thanks for the review! And you are absolutely right about all these points! I'd love to go back to this once the year is actually over and write something a little more polished. But when inspiration strikes, it strikes, (Even as I'm basically asleep XD)

Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.
— Lemony Snicket