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Untitled Short Story Ch. 2

by Honora

Author's note:  So I have this as a short story but to tell you the truth, I don't know how long the story will last! Just a heads up that it could be longer than I thought!

Chapter 2

I peeled my eyes open as the sun crept onto my face from the open shade. I squinted as the light made contact with my tired eyes. I breathed in deeply, yawing loudly as I stretched my muscles. My spine cracked in multiple spots and I groaned in appreciation as it immediately loosened my stiff, cramped muscles. I didn't do my stretches the night before and I could really feel it now.

"Ugh, Riley, why do you let me do that to myself?" I asked him, silently petting his sleeping figure curled up in my blankets. The damn thing took up more than half of my bed but still, I could never kick him off when he decides to jump up with me.

I stood up and surprisingly enough, I didn't need to grab hold of anything to keep myself up. I shucked off my clothes from last night and jumped into some PJs. Comfort was about the only thing I truly desired.

"How's your hangover?" My brother, Chris, asked with a smirk on his face.

"Not bad surprisingly," I said with a yawn, "More tired than anything." I didn't hear his whole answer but I caught an "uh huh sure" in there somewhere as he leaned into the fridge. I learned my lesson from last night and decided not to roll my eyes at him.

I grabbed some water and sat on the couch, waiting for the dreaded feeling to pass. The haze in my head wasn't horrible anymore but I still felt fairly tired. I watched as Chris wandered around the house, looking ancy as he glanced at me nervously from time to time. I chuckled, thinking he was worried about me. I didn't think he realized that just because I was eighteen now, I was still the same person.

After an hour of watching him pace the whole apartment for the hundredth time, I looked at him and exclaimed, "What is wrong with you!?"

He groaned and sat down on the couch across from me, "I don't know Addy, just now that you're eighteen I have this stupid worry about that damn psycho out there."

I laughed, which was probably rude but it was funny!

"Chris, we know he exists but he could be anywhere in the world! He's not gonna be here of all places." I said, trying to ease his uncalled for fear.

He sighed and looked at me warily, "No, Addy. I know he is here," he paused and looked down uncertainly as he stuttered, "I had another dream."

My heart stopped. He hadn't had one of those since our parents.

"What do you mean, you had a dream?" I asked, my voice voluntarily reaching an octave higher than my normal voice.

"I mean exactly that, Addy. I don't know what to think about it." He said, his shoulders shuddering. Whether it was in fear or not was what I was wondering. He looked so defeated. His once proud, broad shoulders stooping into his chest as his head hung low. His caramel eyes sought mine out, the look in them pleading for help.

"Well, Chris, I don't know what to say. I do have a question though," I paused, making sure he was listening, "What was your dream?"

He looked down again, breaking my gaze as he answered, "As you know, it never gives me the full picture. I just saw broken up pieces of you and that damned pig of an immortal and I'm not going to let that happen."

My chest clenched, as if my ribs were closing in on my heart. Was I going to be one of his victims? How could I let myself fall for his tricks he plays?

An idea quickly filled my head, replacing all disappointment in myself, "Wait, you saw what he looked like!? This is amazing Chris! He would have been caught forever ago but no one knew what he looked like. We'll just go down to the police station, get you to do one of those drawing things they do, and they can catch him before he even gets close to me!"

I rambled on like this for a few minutes before I realized that he was shaking his head slowly.

When I stopped and turned towards him again, he spoke, "No, I don't know what he looks like. That's the thing with these damn premonitions I have...let's me know enough to know something will happen and what it revolves around but I can just tell certain aspects of it without knowing fully. I know he is here and I know you're involved but I can't stop it. Just like Mom and Dad, Addy. Just like them."

I sat beside him and wrapped my arms around his shoulder as he sat there, shamed all over again by Mom and Dad's death. Despite what everyone told him, he still blamed himself. He had had a dream but by the time he worked the courage to tell them about his plight, it was too late.

Premonitions were looked down upon and sometimes even punishable by death. I didn't understand it considering they could be of use but the Council had forbidden it years ago. They're reasoning? It was an abuse of the Power of the Gods, they said. To me, that made no sense considering they all had more power than the rest of us. Should they all be executed for a power they had no control of giving or taking? I'd love to see how that blew over with them.

Chris sniffled and shrugged his shoulder, "Oh well, what's done is done. I won't let history repeat itself though. I think it's about time I talk to the authorities about this so they can help me keep you safe."

Bull shit!

"No, you aren't. You'll just get yourself killed and that won't help me any. Remember their policy? You can't change what is to be? That's all they're going to say before hauling you off to a back corner and shooting you. Don't be dumb, Chris."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I just can't lose another one of you when I know and can stop it," he groaned and stood up, "I better get to work though. You are going to plant your butt in this apartment and stay here until I get home."

I shrugged my shoulders and chuckled, "We'll see about that, big bro," I stopped and smirked wickedly, "You can't change what is to be."

The pillow that was whipped into my face was slightly unexpected but I was still laughing on the floor as he grabbed his wallet and headed out the door. Left to my own devices, I wandered around the apartment, looking for something to occupy my brain.

I threw on a movie but soon found myself thinking about his premonition. If the Immortal really was in the city and I was somehow supposed to be his next victim, then that would mean that my soul would be ripped from my body. Just the thought of that made me shudder. Being in love sounded more freaky then dying.

The fact that this psycho purposefully made women fall in love with him to keep himself immortal was sickening. The fact that I was going to be one of them made my stomach curdle. Me, of all people, would fall for that shit. It all seemed so unreal.

Why the Gods cursed our love was beyond me. After turning eighteen, any love you feel for a person gives them a piece of your soul and basically, each piece you give is one day closer to death. But on the flip side, every person who loves you gives you a piece of their soul, keeping you alive longer. Some people abuse this power for a few extra years but only one has managed to live indefinitely by making those around him love him.

Apparently, this dude was targeting me. What a joy.

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94 Reviews

Points: 1193
Reviews: 94

Mon Feb 17, 2020 3:36 pm
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shieldmaiden wrote a review...

Wowy wow wow!!! Boy I'm in love with this story already. I love your main character's sass. She's so funny and lighthearted that she's captured my heart. I really love how you explain what kind of world we were in. It wasn't loaded with endless descriptions but simple and left some more mystery to be discovered in future chapters. I'm excited for this immortal to show up. Something tells me that this girl will not be like the rest. On to the next chapter!

Honora says...

Thanks for the review Cecy! <33

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96 Reviews

Points: 952
Reviews: 96

Fri Feb 07, 2020 2:13 am
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Gnomish wrote a review...


Okay, so this I'm really interested in where this story is going! A couple little things I noticed...
"looking ancy as he glanced at me nervously from time to time" antsy, not ancy.
"He hadn't had one of those since our parents." Since your parents what? Were alive? Died?
"my voice voluntarily reaching an octave higher than my normal voice." Maybe you actually mean this but voluntarily means that it's willingly. I think you might mean involuntarily.
"They're reasoning?" In this case I'm pretty sure it's their not they're.

I'm sorry all I have for a review are typos and grammar stuff, but I really don't see anything about the story that I could review.
I'm intrigued about the immortal. I had thought that this was in the contemporary world, but now I see it's fantasy, which is interesting especially since modern things like taxis and cell phones exist here.

The love thing is interesting, and gives even more clout to her eighteenth birthday. Anyways, please post the next chapter soon!

Honora says...

Thank you for the review!! I suck at grammar so if you see something, please point it out! :D glad you like it tho!

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372 Reviews

Points: 23725
Reviews: 372

Thu Feb 06, 2020 4:53 pm
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Liberty wrote a review...

Hiya, Honora!

Here to drop of a review like I said I would. Hope you're doing well! =)

Alrighty, so just letting you know now that I'll be reviewing as I go, so if I question anything and then the answer is right after, I apologize in advance. xD

Ahh, comfort is the only thing everyone truly desires, hon, it's not only you. *says this while sitting on a cold floor and my feet numb* >.<

Lol, I already love Chris. *chuckles* Big bro is nervous that his lil' sis is a big girl now, eh? Damn psycho. Oh dammit, why do I have a feeling he's talking about the hot guy that Addy met the other day? Ummm, what was his name?? Dustin! Yeah, is it him? Psycho guy? :|

Okay, I did say I was going to review as I go, but I just read the enitre thing, and here are my thoughts: Either Dustin is the psycho dude, who's immortal and wants Addy to fall head over heels for him. OR, he could be the good guy, helping Chris and Addy with this situation, and yeah! Like... I dunno. It's either one of the two, and right now, I have no clue what to settle on. I mean, it could be something completely different. But we'll see! More chapters to come! =D

Ooookay, this entire "love" situation is very interesting, and has me intrigued, and I cannot wait to see what this is all about. xD

Right, now that we're done with the entire plot thing, moving onto other stuff now. Hm. You didn't have any grammar problems or anything. I see you've been re-reading before posting, eh? ;) You're getting better! So proud of you! <3

Anyways, I guess that's it for my review! Hope this helped, and if you have any questions about this, feel free to ask me whenever.

And as always...

Keep on writing!


Honora says...

Hey Lib! Thank you for the review! It makes me happy that you like it and thanks for always helping me out with your reviews! They mean a lot to me <33

Liberty says...

Not a problem! <3

I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.
— Thomas Edison