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Young Writers Society


16+ Language Mature Content

Be Careful Who You Trust Chapter 8

by Honora


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.

Previously: Katie suffered through a long night, thinking about everything from how her Dad died to how she learned vampires exist. Unable to sleep, she goes downstairs where she finds Nathan injured. Nathan and Mrs. Borden explain to her that he is a Hunter and that Zander is even more dangerous than he seems.

Chapter 8

Nathan held his stomach gingerly as he made his way to his Guardian’s house. Jim wouldn’t mind if he was woken up at this time of night and Nathan was thankful for that. He needed help researching Katie’s problem.

Katie was in trouble and it pained him to know that he wasn’t able to protect her from his life. He’d tried so hard. For what? For this to happen? For the worst possible vampire to get his hooks in her? No. Over his dead body would Zander get to her.

As he walked, he thought about her. Her long, brown hair; her beautiful brown eyes that he could get lost in for hours. The way she just looks at him could make him melt and yet he couldn’t say a word to her about his feelings.

He knew that he could never act upon his feelings, no matter how intense they have grown to be. If he did, she would be in even more danger than she already was and he wouldn’t be able to live like that. He couldn’t live knowing that being around her could easily claim her life.

Working to get Zander away from her was all he could do. It would hurt but as soon as he freed her from Zander’s “soulmate” theory, he had to make things go back the way they were. Only seeing her when she went over to hang out with Jen or something. There were too many risks keeping her in his life for any longer.

He sighed, knowing that brooding on it would only make it worse for him. He forced himself to think about other things. How was he going to save her from Zander? How could she feel his emotions? How could he teach her to block the creepy filth that attached itself to her?

Nathan would have to ask Jim all these questions. One bonus about having a Guardian-because there are a lot of down sides to it-is that he usually does all the research. For some reason, Jim loved his musky old books and basically refused to believe anything that came from and source of technology. To Nathan, he didn’t care how the old man found a solution as long as one gets found.

He snuck down an alley, careful to watch his surroundings with the time of night it was. He had often tried to convince Jim to move to the better side of town but he hasn’t made any headway with him yet. Supposedly, it’s quieter in downtown Edexx.

Nathan rolled his eyes. Quieter because everyone is being killed off. It was basically vampire hunting grounds around there.

He sighed in relief when Jim’s house came into view. He hadn’t seen anything lurking in any shadows on the way and he couldn’t tell if he felt relieved or worried.

He pushed the feeling aside and took the porch steps in one leap. Knocking on the door, he waited for the old man to wake up. A sense of relief washed over him when he saw the window upstairs light up. Waiting was the worst possible thing to do. Especially since it was dark and to be honest, too quiet.

The door opened a crack and Nathan smiled as Jim sighed. He opened the door completely and Nathan took the invitation gratefully. He may have been in the job for five years but that didn’t stop him from getting nervous in the dark. If anything, it’s given him more of a reason to fear it.

Once the door was closed behind him, Jim asked, his English accent heavy, “What brings you here tonight, Nathan?”

“The usual,” he replied and with a grunt, he added, “Times a million.”

Jim looked at him peculiarly and asked, “Like what exactly?”

Nathan walked to the sitting room and sat beside the electric woodstove. When Jim settled in his rocking chair, he explained everything to him. He touched briefly that he had been wounded but he kept the main topic on Katie’s situation.

Jim grunted and said, his voice giving away how deep in thought he was, “Yes, well, this is unfortunate and I will no doubt need to consult my books on this one. I know there are ways of cutting the connection but I do not know how as of yet.”

Nathan chuckled.

“What?” Jim asked, fully knowing what he was laughing at.

“You just sound so English, that’s all.”

“And proud of it!” The old man exclaimed.

Nathan grinned but brought the banter to an end when he said, “I need this to be your highest priority Jim. We need to figure this out for her.”

“I know,” Jim said, placing his hand on Nathan’s shoulder, “She’s special to you so I’ll see it done.”

Nathan smiled as Jim winked at him. Standing up, he gave his farewell before stepping out into the darkness once more. He almost immediately felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge. Something was around. Just out of eyesight but that didn’t mean he didn’t know it was there.

He put his hand in his jacket, getting his wooden stake ready to attack. Whether it would attack him or not was yet to be determined. If it was a vampire, it would be able to smell his wound and take that as an advantage.

He kept his eyes peeled, relying mostly on his ears to tell him where the creature was. His fingers wrung the wood hidden inside his jacket and his heart rang in his ears. No matter how many times he did this, he would never get rid of the butterflies in his stomach. Knowing that he could die at any time was nerve wracking at times.

He turned into the alley that he had come from before. If it was going to attack him tonight, this is where it would do it.

The alley was misty from the exhaust coming from the building, leaving everything hazy. It could be used to his advantage or it could be used as an advantage on him. He would have to be sure it wasn’t the latter option.

The musky smell of rain didn’t help either. The rain would leave clouds in the sky and cover up daylight, leaving the world open to the vicious animals. Nathan had grown to hate the rain considering it made his job a whole lot longer and more difficult. At least in the night, everyone is sleeping. On cloudy days, it makes it easier for the vampires to pick someone off and harder for him to keep them safe.

“Hello, Nathan.” A cold, masculine voice said, all too calmly for Nathan’s comfort.

He looked for the speaker and found that a man, or vampire, was leaning against the brick wall of the building in the middle of the alley. His white hair stood out in the darkness of the night like water in a desert.

“Who are you?” He asked, not too thrilled that it had knowledge of his name.

The man scoffed and said, “Don’t you know? Shouldn’t you at least know the things you try hunt? I’m pretty sure, if I got it correctly from Katie, that I’m your top priority. Am I not?”

He smiled smugly and Nathan knew exactly who this was.

“Zander.”

“In the flesh.” Zander confirmed as he bowed mockingly towards him.

Unsure of what to do, Nathan didn’t do anything. He simply watched Zander; studying the way he moved. A lot could be told about a person by their eyes. Nathan felt that he wasn’t planning on doing anything to harm him but rather try and scare him away from helping Katie. That wasn’t going to happen.

He cursed his heart, knowing full well that Zander could hear it speeding faster with the silence. The vampire smiled at him, his fangs extending to their full length. Nathan forced himself to stay calm. No sense in giving that disgusting abomination what he wanted.

Zander was just testing him. He was trying to push him to attack him or lose control. He was trying to see how strong the “Hunter” really was. Nathan knew he had quite the reputation around Edexx. Being the only Hunter around and all.

The silence stretched on for what seemed like eternity and Nathan found himself relaxing. His heart had calmed itself down and his fingers weren’t wrapped around the wood in his jacket so tightly. He saw the control in Zander’s face flicker into annoyance as he realized that he wasn’t so scared of his presence.

Nathan took a step forward, enjoying how his boldness surprised Zander and said, “So, are you here to stare at me like I’m some hot chick or is there a reason for this cute little tea party?” He made sure to make his voice as calm and mocking as possible.

Zander chuckled and replied, “I think you know why I’m here.”

Nathan shrugged mockingly, “Sorry, I’m not your “soulmate” so I don’t think I can read your mind. Care to share?”

Seeing Zander’s annoyance grow, Nathan grinned, enjoying every minute of it. He was sure that having Zander show his reaction wasn’t an often occurrence. Being the head honcho of the living dead; Nathan was sure that it was part of the job description.

“I had to see what this Hunter was made up of. I’ve heard much of you but I can’t see your scrawny self living up to your reputation. Now that I’ve seen you, I think I’ll be off.” Zander said with a grin.

Nathan stepped forward, not about to let him go but the mist increased suddenly. By the time he made it to where Zander had been standing, he was long gone. He couldn’t see properly and he knew that if he wanted to survive to see daylight, he would have to get out of the alley.

He fought every instinct to increase his speed. Although he couldn’t see Zander, he was positive he was still be watched. Didn’t want to ruin the appearance he’d set for himself.

Only two more streets to go, Nathan could feel himself itching to get back in the safety of his house.

He groaned as he realized that a dumb school assignment was due for tomorrow. He knew already that he was going to get a zero on it. To get a higher grade, he would have had to actually do it.

Sorry fake life. Don’t actually have time for you! Nathan thought to himself annoyed. Sometimes he felt bitter towards kids with normal lives. He had to literally juggle two lives. His life in the day and his life in the night. They were both complete opposites that there was no way they could ever mesh. One was like water while the other was oil. Not mixable.

He physically had a difficult time not sighing when he felt the wood of his porch under his feet. The smooth feeling of metal under his fingers as he twisted the door knob to the front door. He stepped inside and leaned against the back of the door, satisfied when he heard the soft click behind him. He bolted the door and walked around the corner.

He wasn’t surprised at all when he saw Katie sitting at the counter. He smiled as he heard her sigh deeply, obviously relieved he was back.

“Still up?” He asked, throwing his jacket on one of the chairs placed at the dining room table.

“Yeah, Zander hasn’t exactly been letting me sleep.”

She sounded so tired. Her voice was strained like she’d been crying before he walked in. Now that he was closer to her, he could see the tears that had been wiped away hastily at his return.

“What’s he doing?”

She sighed again, her voice cracking as she said, “Well, he sent me some sort of picture of you in an alley. I could tell that he was with you and it kind of freaked me out. Well, I didn’t know if he was actually with you or if he can make something like that up too. I didn’t know what he was planning on doing.”

She let her head fall into her hands as she tried to hide the new tears flowing down her cheeks. He wanted so badly to put his arm around her but he needed to keep his distance. He knew that after the Zander problem was taken care of, their lives would go back to normal and she wouldn’t be his. There was no use in making himself hope for nothing.

Instead, he chuckled and answered her back, “Oh yeah, he did make a little visit.”

Her head snapped back up, her brown eyes full of tears. She stood up and made her way to him. The concern in her movement hurt him more than it did comfort him.

Don’t let yourself get too close to her.

“Are you okay!? Did he hurt you?” She asked as she touched his arm softly. He was going to have a hell of a time keeping his distance if she insisted on touching him like that. One little touch from her meant more than a thousand words.

He pulled away smoothly, pretending to grab his jacket before saying, “Yeah, I’m okay. I think he was just seeing what he was up against.”

Katie nodded her head, sending her brown hair jostling around her shoulders. Whatever she did to her bangs really suited her. It added to her sass when she resorted to sarcasm.

“What?” She asked, looking at him oddly.

Oh shit. I was staring.

“Nothing. Just lost in thought.” He said, chuckling nervously. It wasn’t a lie so he should have been able to keep his calm. Why did she have so much power over him?

“Oh, okay.” She said. He didn’t say a word and it became really awkward as the silence stretched on.

She eventually put her hands in her pockets and said, “Well, now that I know you’re alive and back home safe, I’m gonna try get some sleep.”

Nathan nodded his head, saying, “Yeah. Sleep would probably do you some good right now.”

She nodded her head in reply and said, “No kidding. Goodnight, Nate.”

As she walked out of the dining room, he talked after her, “Goodnight. Oh, Katie? If it helps you any, it gets easier to sleep at night.”

She glanced over her shoulder, a small smile on her face as she answered, “It better. If it doesn’t, I feel sorry for everyone that has to deal with me on a regular basis.”

He chuckled but didn’t say anything more. She was already halfway up the steps and he needed to get down to his room. He needed rest just as much as she did and he had school in the afternoon. He glared upwards as he walked down the steps, hoping Katie could feel it. She was home schooled. That meant she could take some time off to deal with all this crap.

That was a good thing. He had a feeling she wasn’t showing just how freaked she was about it all. That was one thing about her. She definitely had her fair share of pride.

He sighed and pulled his shirt off. His stomach was smeared with a bit of blood and he knew that he needed to clean the open wound again. As soon as he finished with that, he was heading straight towards blissful sleep. 


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Mon Nov 11, 2019 11:53 pm
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Raelyn wrote a review...



In this review I did a lot more nitpicking you call it. Hope it helps. You already know I adore you and your writing so I say all this to help not hurt:)

No matter how many times he did this, he would never get rid of the butterflies in his stomach.

Butterflies in his stomach? This was confusing because I usually associate this with being nervous about something exciting, not when I am about to be murdered by a vampire. Unless you are trying to make a new meaning to this feeling, I might consider changing it up:)

Nathan smiled as Jim winked at him.

I thought this was humorous but maybe a little out of place. Just because he was getting so sad and down and torn apart about his feelings for Katie and how he could never act upon it. Then he went to smiling and having humor around it. I feel like he would argue with this or say something like: "My connection to her have nothing to do with our missions as hunters to protect our species from that filth. I would ask you to do this for any human."
Then you can say he winked, but nathan just ignored it and left.

Knowing that he could die at any time was nerve wracking at times.

I feel like this is kinda redundant. It may sound better to just cut at times. I think it would flow a little better.


He would have to be sure it wasn’t the latter option.

What is this supposed to mean? I was very confused.


“In the flesh.” Zander confirmed as he bowed mockingly towards him.

This line is perfect for zander, it fits his personality so well. I laughed so hard.

The man scoffed and said, “Don’t you know? Shouldn’t you at least know the things you try hunt? I’m pretty sure, if I got it correctly from Katie, that I’m your top priority. Am I not?”

I thought nathan's response was interesting. I wished he'd said something like, don't flatter yourself or something.

When nathan first see zander talk more about his looks. Did nathan envy any of his looks. Did nathan think the guy was ugly, did he compare zander to any type of guy at his school? Things to consider:)


AND SO THE MALE FIGHTS BEGIN;)

Sorry fake life. Don’t actually have time for you! Nathan thought to himself annoyed.
I love this so much. Expand a little more about his fake life maybe?

LOL I didn't think of Nathan as being someone scrawny.

He physically had a difficult time not sighing when he felt the wood of his porch under his feet. The smooth feeling of metal under his fingers as he twisted the door knob to the front door. He stepped inside and leaned against the back of the door, satisfied when he heard the soft click behind him. He bolted the door and walked around the corner.

Bravo bravo. This is very descriptive and beautiful. It really makes me feel the feelings that the character is feeling. Like I am right there by his side to help him carry his own weight.

Her head snapped back up, her brown eyes full of tears. She stood up and made her way to him. The concern in her movement hurt him more than it did comfort him.

No stupid mortal male, let her get closed to you. UGHHH what is with males and protecting us. Honestly it is kinda insulting we can make our own choices, and if we get hurt it is on us. Sorry this review is turning to me ranting to your characters, but NATHAN I SWEAR!

One little touch from her meant more than a thousand words

Honora! Are you trying to break my hopeless romantic heart?

He chuckled
He chuckles a lot when he gets home. Is that to show his uneasiness or did you run out of ummm body gestures I guess?


Okay I know that zander is creepy, cruel, and abusive, but I kinda am in love with him. I wish there was more imagery on what he looks like though. There is a nice humor about zanders interaction with literally everyone.

Nathan, I feel like nathan is the jacob back in twilight. Although I kind of like, where as I could not standdddd jacob. Nathan seems like the guy who should have gotten the girl… but there was some immortal sexy guy that stepped in the way. But to a normal mortal that only knew mortals…. Also it mentioned he had a girlfriend, I want to know more about that:> especially since we know that he likes katie. Not to brag but… Called it!

The anticipation about the title is killing me honora. Who am I not supposed to trust… I mean any logical person would say Zander but IDK:)

Okay this ch. Was amazing. I really loved the use of commentary, body language, and well Zander. You are doing swell honora. I am trying to catch up but this is hard, because I have had a concussion and there is a ton of work I need to do. But I also have a ton of YWS to catch up on… UGHHH. LOVE YOUR NOVEL!!!

YOURS TRULY,
rae:)




Honora says...


Hey Rae! Thank you so much for taking the time to review! You don%u2019t have to worry about reviewing until you are feeling better, I understand! :) I hope you get better soon tho, concussions suck!
I will have to edit those things and tbh, I COMPLETELY forgot that Nate has a gf. Oops! :)



Raelyn says...


hahahahah, yeah I am better just waiting to be cleared....



Raelyn says...


hahahahah, yeah I am better just waiting to be cleared....



Raelyn says...


hahahahah, yeah I am better just waiting to be cleared....



Raelyn says...


Wow, I did not mean to send that 3 times!



Honora says...


I am glad to hear! :)
Lol gotta love the internet eh?



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Fri Jun 28, 2019 12:02 am
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Lib wrote a review...



Hey Honora!

I'm gonna do a very quick review. Like, seriously quick one. Hope you're doing well! Let's start!

I loved this chapter, and personally, I think this is my favorite chapter! Because here, I get to see Nathan and Zander and now I know how the things are in between them. Before, I didn't think it was too big. Also, question: Doesn't Nathan want to kill Zander since he's a... Hunter? I dunno, just a random question that popped up.

Alright, so there was this one little thing that I saw:

“Don’t you know? Shouldn’t you at least know the things you try hunt? I’m pretty sure, if I got it correctly from Katie, that I’m your top priority. Am I not?”


You try hunt? That doesn't quite make sense. So maybe a to in between try and hunt would sound better? Yeah. :)

Also, this little part was explained so properly, and it's so perfect! I really like this sentence! Or sentences. ;)

They were both complete opposites that there was no way they could ever mesh. One was like water while the other was oil. Not mixable.


Well anyways, that's it for my review! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. It was a delight reading this chapter and I'm off to read more soon!

And as always...

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500




Honora says...


Thank you for the review! I%u2019m so glad you like it! :D



Lib says...


You're very welcome!



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Fri May 10, 2019 5:41 am
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shieldmaiden wrote a review...



Such a sweet chapter! I love that we are able to get inside Nathan's head. I had no idea he was that much in love with Katie. Now, it will be even more enjoyable to watch her try to decipher his odd behavior. Boy, I love being a reader. Especially when it means that I have more knowledge about what's going on. It gives me tingles whenever a character is struggling while I'm on my bed laughing gleefully. Sometimes I wish I could just jump right in the book and mock them with a "I know something you don't know!"

Zander - boy! Is he a jealous, creepy boyfriend or what! Enough said.

I really like Nathan and his snarky comebacks. I think that even Zander could grow to like him.

Great chapter and I can't wait to read the next one. Keep up the fantastic work!

-Shieldmaiden




Honora says...


Thanks for the review! I%u2019m glad you like it! :D



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Wed May 08, 2019 3:59 am
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Toboldlygo wrote a review...



Hey there! Toboldlygo here for a review!

So, first of all, congratulations on another chapter! I'm fairly sure you've now written more chapters on a book than I ever have or will. I think this piece is great and it's coming along very well!

My biggest thing to keep in mind is your past/present tenses. You often change from past to present in a couple places. It's easy to do, though, and overall you're doing great!

I can't wait to see what this story has in store!

Happy Writing!

Toboldlygo




Toboldlygo says...


Okay, so a more helpful review (I wanted to get it in before midnight to stay on Team Tortoise lol)

Here are a couple places where you mixed tenses. I'm just pointing it out to you so you know where to look.

"To Nathan, he didn%u2019t care how the old man found a solution as long as one gets found." It should be "as long as one got found."

I think you could also talk more about what a Guardian is and what he/she does. Does a Guardian recruit? Train? What exactly do they do? What are the downsides to having one? And why didn't Nathan stay there until it was safer to go out?

What about the female Hunter? What's the deal with her? It's been a while since she was introduced, and I just remembered her reading this. She hasn't had much of an introduction yet, and it would probably be good to bring her back soon before the readers forget about her entirely.

I really like where you're going with the story! I'm looking forward to the next chapter!



Honora says...


Thanks for the review! The female Hunter will be coming back in the next chapter! Very briefly but she will be coming back!
I will keep an eye on the past/present tense thing. Thanks for pointing it out! :D




The only person I know for certain I am better than is the person I used to be.
— CandyWizard