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18+ Mature Content

Her Fantasy

by Honeypod

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for mature content.

It was too safe for her… a little too domestic. She wanted something to awaken this succubus within her. Yes, she loves the way he handles her body with care but it wasn’t enough. She wants to explore his deepest and darkest desires. She wanted to be his only muse and not just some late night afterthought. She closed her eyes, letting out a breath of sexual satisfaction as his lips caressed her nipple.

“Wait” she whispered, looking into his eyes.

Their bodies were entangled within the silk crimson sheets. The room was dimly lit by candles that smelled like a fresh ocean breeze. His thumb ran along her plump soft lips

“ What is it My rose?” she was his rose.

She had her thorns that stabbed unwanted men who refused to learn how to hold her and tame her….But this one was different. He held her with such delicacy and watered her petals with this admiration that she was never shown not once.

“ I want more…..Please don’t hide it...show me what you really want”

Her dark eyes held this fire within them as she spoke. He froze for a moment wondering if he wanted to destroy his rose in such a way but of course his temptation took the best of him. She knew that deep down she was like every other girl he laid with. Yes, they had their passionate moments but did he ever really mean all these things he’s told her? He leaned down, taking in the taste of her lips. He could taste the leftover come on her lips which only made him smile. She was always so good with her mouth and that was one of the reasons why he didn’t ever want to let her go. This tall man rolled out the bed, letting the silk sheets that wrapped around his body fall to the ground.

“Understand this, you ask for it. I will show no mercy nor care to give any. As of now, you are no longer my rose but just a woman whos here to please my needs. Am I being clear ?”

His voice held this venomous dominance. She knew what she was getting to but she wanted more of him. She wanted to experience his true nature. She sat up, letting the sheets gracefully fall on to her lap, exposing her perky yet firm breasts. Her long dark hair cascaded down her back coming to a full stop right on top of her lap. Her hair was soft and held these full loose curls. She looked like she had been formed by aphrodite herself.

“ Do as you please.”

She was officially submitting his power

submitting to his dominance….. 

https://youtu.be/atkAOjx7kh8 (listen as you read)

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1162 Reviews

Points: 32055
Reviews: 1162

Sun Oct 04, 2020 9:12 pm
Carlito wrote a review...


I'm a little confused after reading because it's listed as a short story but I feel like I'm missing a big part of the story. Who are these people? How did they meet? What's the build up to this intimate moment? I think the moment you've shown here could be more powerful if we have some of the backstory about these two people. (And maybe there is more to this story that was posted earlier or hasn't been posted yet that I missed).

The title being "her fantasy" though makes me think that it's just that - a fantasy. Which is fine! And an interesting idea! But I think the same though applies for me. Even if it's a fantasy, I want to know more about her and I want to know more about this guy she's fantasizing about and how we got to this intimate moment. Why is this in particular a fantasy for her? What is it about this guy that makes it so special? Or what is it about the act that makes it so special for her?

As for the writing itself, it reads like I'd expect an adult romance to read! I thought you balanced the descriptions well and while there was a little too much rose imagery for my liking, nothing made me want to barf in my mouth, which is good :p (I'm sure you've read some adult romance stuff that makes you want to barf because it's so over the top!)

I think overall I'd like you to zoom out a little bit more and give me a little more context about these characters and why this is happening now (and if it's purely fantasy, why this is a fantasy) to make it a more well-rounded story and less of a moment. Let me know if you have any questions or if you'd me to comment on anything else! :D

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Mon Sep 28, 2020 5:21 pm
GeneralSplarge says...

This was a very good story. I liked the part that was. Add more details next time. Improve Adapt Improvise

Honeypod says...

Thank you but the point of it was just to be something short, although I might make it into something. Then again thank you for the input.

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Reviews: 1274

Sun Sep 27, 2020 5:33 am
niteowl wrote a review...

Hi there Honeypod and welcome to YWS! Niteowl here to leave a quick review.

The first paragraph is solid, but it feels a little weird to be the opener of the story. I would start with what you currently have as the third paragraph, setting this scene of a nice tame world that she doesn't really want.

So...we have this man and woman in some sort of relationship, and then all of a sudden they flip from what sounds like it was a more conventional into a more BDSM type relationship with essentially no discussion. That's the sort of relationship romanticized in books like Fifty Shades of Gray, but it's not great in reality. A healthy relationship exploring those kind of dynamics would talk about it and get full consent before anything happens. If I were writing a romance/sex story, I would think about what sort of relationship I'm promoting in my work as something my readers should desire.

Also, I feel like I'm getting a snippet of something that doesn't make much sense in context. I don't know who these people are and I'm not given a reason to care. I get the impression that they're both pretty casual in previous relationships and I guess they see something different in each other, but I'm not sure what that is. This seems like it could be a decent turning point, but it doesn't feel like a self-contained story on its own. Also, the rose metaphor is kind of convoluted and roses are so overused that it's hard to reference them without sounding cliched.

I would build up the characters a little more. Give them names, give them backstories, let us see their dynamic. The "good girl gone bad" and "submitting to a mysterious dominant man" tropes are pretty well-worn, but that doesn't mean there couldn't be something that stands out here. I'm just not seeing it yet.

She wanted to be his only muse and not just some late night afterthought.

This is the strongest line you have. I can make a lot of inferences from this-that he's a playboy, that he might be in an artistic profession since she wants to be his muse, and that she's feeling conflicted about having been the "cool girl" up to this point.

Overall, this isn't a bad start but it needs more to go on. Welcome again and keep writing!

Honeypod says...

Thanks for the review. it's very much appreciated.

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Sun Sep 27, 2020 12:34 am
Honeypod says...

This is a house of homes, a sacred place, by human passion made divinely sweet.
— Alfred Joyce Kilmer