Hi Homachi, Becca here for a quick review. I really loved this piece! I think the narrator of this poem has a really strong, captivating voice and I was so curious the whole time about what they were going to say. I loved "affection/ours was a mixture/poison and passion/lust would corrupt it." I like how you describe it as "innocent and overwhelming," two words I wouldn't necessarily put together. I liked "her kissed held a magnitude/like a thousand volts." My absolute favorite was, "I wish I'd kissed your lips/upon the fallen leaves/under mango trees." The longing and the imagery of the final lines is so beautiful and really makes the piece shine. Hope to read more of your writing!
Points: 2046
Reviews: 131
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