Delayed

An interesting story. I liked how it sounded like an annoyed human being during customs in the airport, but instead it's with aliens trying to get back home. Not sure if that was intentional, but it was a fun thing to speculate over. Oh, but where are my manners? The name's Ellstar, as you can see. Now, let's move on to our highlights.

-"ACCIDENT SCENE AHEAD blared the orange road signs." I felt like you should've had an 'on' after the word 'blared', but that's more of a personal preference than anything.

-"“Great, delayed” I grumbled." I see this a couple of times in your dialogue. Always end your sentence in your quotation marks with a comma or a period. "Great, delayed" should be "Great, delayed," or "Great, delayed." Also, title drop.

-"“Excuse me ma'am, but the next tour starts at 2:00”" Again with the period or the comma ending. This is the last one I'm pointing out, but there are others out there.

-"It shook the ground, sending out massive shock waves that, for some reason, were only affecting my left shoulder......." This is, once again, a personal preference, but multiple periods that extend from the usual three are annoying and often make it difficult for me to take a work seriously. I suggest shortening the dots to a normal three--it won't sacrifice anything, and it'll make the work look clean cut.

Now, onto the less substantial portion of the review:

This was an interesting thing to read, overall. It had interesting insights onto the possibility of aliens and what they might be doing in another planet. I just have to ask, do the aliens know what happened with the Stonehenge? I'm not sure you've made that clear, but it would be one of the few things that pieces the work together and makes it, as a whole, a very interesting read.

Otherwise, good job.

Signing out,

--EM.

Hello,raindrop here to review this work!
I do not like seeing lonely zero reviews works!
So let's start with the tittle.I like it but I think you could think of a better name.
I will review and read at the same time.For now everything is okey but I will check the grammar and all now so I will write the already corrected and right ( i hope ) version down below so you can check it.For the idea and everything else I think it starts well but we will see is it okey after that now:





I had been driving for about two hours, earthling time, and I started feeling excited.

When I had been offered this amazing opportunity, I had been “over the moon” as those natives to Earth say.

Coming to Earth (it is a planet so with capital letters) was my first big project. My mission: study the advancement of a civilization similar to our own, discover the possible beginnings of our planet, Aflore and return home after one thousand Earth years.

That's why I have been driving, ( he was still driving then so it has to be have not had..it is not finished )
it was time to go.
Now on my way to Stone Henge (the name earthlings gave it), a popular drop off, and pick up site. It was sunny, a rare event for this location, and the traffic seemed heavy.


One thousand years ago rush hour traffic consisted of a couple of sheep chewing their cud.
(maybe my fav. line)


As I got closer, I realized that perhaps the traffic was a little heavier, even by modern standards. 'ACCIDENT SCENE AHEAD' blared the orange road signs.

“Great, delayed” I grumbled.
"Hope Aleck doesn't think I've changed my mind and decided to stay," I thought nervously.
"It would mean that I would lose the bet that he thinks we made." not to mention being stuck on Earth for however many more Earth years it takes him to come back.

Thirty very long minutes later 'I got a twinge of panic as I realized that my perception of time had changed' a traffic controller appeared, bedecked in florescent colours and holding the motorists' sign of hope 'SLOW'.
Hope indeed renewed, I surged forward, slowly, of course, and continued on my journey.

Not long after, or so I was telling myself, I arrived at my destination or at least, the visitor centre. I stepped out of my car onto the pavement and gazed at the magnificent ancient structure. The sight of it never failed to fill me with a sense of awe, today was no exception. In a thousand years it had hardly changed, except for the parking lot that I was standing in. Eager, I started towards 'Stone Henge' but only got two steps before I was stopped by the previously unnoticed security guard.

“Excuse me ma'am, but the next tour starts at 2:00”

I quickly checked my watch, 12:42 it read. Great Zalta! I cursed inwardly. Keeping calm ,outwardly at least, I asked; “Tour?”

“You can register at the VisitorCentre front desk. There is also a cafeteria if you want lunch. Otherwise, that is as close as you can get.” he stated firmly, indicating were I was standing.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

I waited a moment to see if he would leave so that I could use my Face Shifter. I needed to shift to the parallel dimension that Aleck and his ship would be waiting for me in. Only in emergencies would a pick-up be done in this dimension. It attracted too much attention. So did Fazing in front of unwitting spectators.

The guard never took his eyes off of me. I was probably not the first 'tourist' he had unknowingly prevented from leaving on time. With the infuriating thought that Aleck was undoubtedly watching the whole scene, and enjoying every Earthling second, I turned and headed for the Visitor Centre. I would just have to resign myself taking/to take the tour. Maybe I could slip away behind one of the massive stones. Otherwise, I would have to wait until after dark, which was a while, it was summer here.

Inside, I signed up for the 2:00 pm guided tour, paid and took a seat in the cafeteria.

And, apparently, the seats were very comfy because before I knew it I was asleep. I dreamed that I overslept and I awoke to an empty visitor centre. I was angry at first, why hadn't they woken me up for the tour? Or to say that they were closing? And not wanting to waste anymore time, I exited the building via the nearest window, just in time to see a spaceship crash land on Stone Henge. It shook the ground, sending out massive shock waves that, for some reason, were only affecting my left shoulder.

”Wake up! The tour's starting!” I was being shaken awake by the guide. I was flooded with relief, it had only been a dream.

The tour was mildly interesting. It was intriguing to learn how earthlings speculated Stone Henge came into being. Wrong, of course, but interesting.

While everyone was distracted, I slipped away, as planned, behind one giant slab of stone and shifted.

As I stepped out of hiding my last sane thought was ' It was fun, my time on Earth was finished, but where was my ride?'


Now that I had read it all.I like idea of the main chara coming to Earth to learn about the beings living there and more.Good job.