Sorry Can't Help Anything (Chapter Two)

I wake up and rub my eyes. It’s seven, so I walk to the kitchen and eat the leftover pizza Ryan and Nathan ordered two hours ago.

“Hey, you okay?” Nathan asks from the table. He’s doing my homework.

“Yeah, I’m okay. You don’t have to do my homework, Nathan.”

“I know.”

I walk over to him and watch him do my geometry homework. I smile at him. We do my homework and finish it at ten. I’m half asleep on his shoulder, so he takes me to our bed. I set the alarm for 6:30am and close my eyes.

I dream about Kate.

We first met a few years ago. I was riding my bike, it was a cloudy day. I was trying to clear my head. It was before I had met Nathan. I rode my bike along the bridge. The view of the river was amazing even on that gloomy day. I slowed down when I saw a parked car on the curb. Cars don’t park there.

I got off of my bike only feet from the car when I saw her. A girl, was just standing there on the railing. I ran over to her.

“What are you doing?” I shouted. Which I knew was a dumb question for i fantasized about being on that railing looking at the river, wanting it all to end.

She turned to face me. Her tear stained face was breathtaking. I had no words for her beauty. Her eyes had darkness in them. It seemed like I saw all the bad things that happened to her.

“I don’t want to live in this shithole anymore,” she said. He voice cracked with sadness. I stepped closer so I was only inches away from her.

“Why?”

Her eyes darted from the ground to me. She looked at me like I was crazy.

“Because… I hate my life. No one loves me. I have no friends My mom left me, and abused me. I just don’t wanna live anymore.” Her breathes came out shaky and nervous.

“Hey, come down and I’ll help you change that.”

She shook her head, like she shook off my words.

“I don’t want help.”

“Okay, then I will change that. I swear.”

She thought it over for a second, then nodded. I grabbed her shaking hand and she jumped down next to me. I steadied her with my hand on her hip. My fingers tingled and I got a rush of excitement. I looked into her eyes. The darkness still swarmed in them.

Without thought I kissed her. My lips were warm against hers. I parted and watched her eyes. They no longer had darkness in them.

“I’m Kate,” she said. Her mouth hinted at a smile.

“I’m Evan.”

She smiled and gave me a peck on the lips. I held her shivering hand when she drove home. I made sure she slept that night.

I remember that day like it was yesterday.

I love Kate.

I wake up to the alarm and roll out of bed. I put on my clothes and wake up Nathan. He gets dressed and waits on the couch while I brush my teeth. I head out the door with Nathan. He stops at a gas station to get me coffee.

He pulls into the school parking lot and turns off the truck. He always walks with me into the school. I hold his hand and walk to my locker. I put everything away and walk with him back to the door we came in.

“I love you Evanlyn. Have the best day,” he says kissing my head.

“I love you more Nathan. You too.” I kiss his smile.

I watch him get in his truck and drive away.

“Who was that?” my friend Nick asks walking up to me.

“My boyfriend, Nathan. Gosh he’s so dreamy,” I say fake fainting on his shoulder. He pushes me off and we both laugh.

“Just look at his honey glazed cheeks when he smiles,” Nick jokes.

I shove him a little as we walk to class.

Nick and I have been bestfriends since we were two.

“So what are you and Mr. Dreamy gonna do now that he’s back? You guys gonna do it later today? Tomorrow? This weekend?”

“Um…” I blush. My gaze goes to my shoes.

“You already did. Damn you guys get down to business quick. How long have you guys been together. I forgot, it’s been so long.”

I look back up at Nick.

“In a week it will be two years.”

“Shut up. No way.”

“Way, girlfriend.”

Did I mention Nick was gay? Well he is. Like really gay.

“What are you gonna for the two years, babe?”

“Nathan wants to surprise me, so I have no clue. I’m hoping he takes me to like the movies or laser tag. Maybe even just a night of video games and pizza then when Ryan goes to bed…”

I wink a Nick and take a sip of my coffee.

“You’ve had a lot of time to think of about this huh?”

“Yeah I have, I just know it’s gonna be perfect.”

Nick and I lock arms and walk into the classroom. The bell rings and we take our seats. I watch the clock and pretend to pay attention in health.

I finally see Nick again in study hall.

“Hey sweet thang,” he says watching me sit down.

“Hey honey bun.”

“So what’d you and Nathan do for your one year?”

“Well he got me out of school and let me sleep in until noon. Then we got fries and sundaes and ate them in the Walmart parking lot because we were waiting for our pizza to be done. Then we got the pizza snuck it into the movies, watched a movie and snuck into others until we got kicked out. Then went back to our place, then I finally went all the way that night.”

“What a hell of a year anniversary, Evan. How’s he gonna beat that this year? Maybe he’s got something romantic planned?” Nick says arching his eyebrows.

I punch him in the shoulder. “We don’t do romantic. It’s just not us.”

“Yeah okay. What you gonna do after school?”

“Going to your house.”

“Why didn’t I know of this plan?”

I shrug.

The bell rings and we get up. He kisses my hand and spins me before saying bye. I head to lunch and sit with Lynn and Kay.

“So what’d you and Nathan do yesterday?” Kay asks sitting down.

“Nothing really. Just played video games,” I say resting my head on my hand.

“That’s it?” Lynn asks. “Then why didn’t you text me back?”

“You texted me?” I ask.

“Yeah, but you were too busy.”

Lynn and Kay laugh.

“Yeah, okay. We did.”

I see Nick walking past the cafeteria and I go after him. I catch up to him and walk to his locker. There are “gay” notes on them.

“Jeez, people don’t know how to leave you alone,” I say leaning on the locker next to his.

“Yeah, whatever,” he says ripping them off.

“What’s up your ass?”

“Oh, nothing just that fact that you’re fucking ‘friend,’ Tash, doesn’t like the fact that I, being gay, hang out with you more than her. Fuck, usually I can handle these gay things, but Tash took it too far.”

I stand up straighter and furrow my eyebrows at him.

“How the fuck is this my fault? Tash and I never hang out and anyways she is jealous of you.”

“No she isn’t Evan,” he shouts in my face. He looks around for teachers. Then lowers his voice. “Tash thinks I’m pretending to be gay. Like, the fuck? Why would I pretend to be gay just so I can get some with you?”

“Just ignore her, Nick. It’s no big deal.”

He shuts his locker and walks away from me not saying a word, then he stops and turns to look at me. “Don’t fucking come over to my house today. Or for awhile.”

I wait till he turns the corner and I punch the locker.

“Jesus fuck,” I say banging my head on the locker.

I call Nathan.

“Hello?” he asks.

“Don’t come pick me up,” I say resting my forehead on the dented locker.

“Why? I was gonna pick you up, drop you off at Nick’s, then go to the gym.”

“Then just go to the gym. Longer workout.”

“Can you not go to Nick’s?”

“He doesn’t want me there today, or for awhile. Fuck me, Nathan. Sometimes people need to just stay in their own goddamn bubbles.”

“Okay, well cool down and have a good rest of the day, babe.”

I hang up. I zone out the rest of the day and don’t talk to anyone. I walk home, but some guys grab me and take me into the locker room.

“The fuck is this?” I ask.

“Because you have a gay friend that doesn’t stop fucking with our shit, or Tash, my girl, you're gonna feel what it’s like to take it up the ass.”

I get two good punches in before they pin me down. I try not to think. I just want it to be over.

When they are satisfied they let me go. I start run home, but I don’t want Ryan to see me like this. I call my friend Scrubb.

“Hey, Evan.”

“Hey, Scrubb. Are you home, or can you pick me up?”

“I’m on my way to my apartment. Where are you?”

“Um, in front of Walmart.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a few.”

I met Scrubb online, Xbox. I joined a random lobby, met him and we became friends. I call him Scrubb because his gamertag is THE_SCRUBBER. We’ve been friends for about two and half years. He lives in England, but he came to visit me when Nathan was gone. He’s heading back home in two weeks.

He pulls his car up next to me. I get in, he looks at me, but doesn’t say a word. When he pulls into the parking lot of the apartment complex, we walk into his room.

“So, what’s up?” He sits on the couch.

I don’t sit down. I pace back and forth in front of him. My hands shaking in fury.

“Do you own a gun?” My voice sounds strained.

“Why would you need a gun, Lou?” He calls me Lou sometimes because my gamertag is LOU_LOU_LIGHT. I made it when I was twelve.

“Do you have one?”

“No, even if I did, I wouldn’t give it to you. You look like you wanna kill someone.”

“I do.” An image of me with a gun runs through my head. It shocks me I’m so calm in my head. Would I really be that calm?

He sits up, but studies my face. It takes him a few minutes to realize I’m not playing around. He stands up, looking concerned.

“I’m not going to house a murderer, Lou. You tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, or I can drive you back home, yeah?”

“Just drive me back home then,” I say.

“Just tell me what happened?” He thinks a second. “Don’t you get out of school at 2:30?” I turn to look at him.

“Yeah, why?”

“That Walmart is like a fifteen minute walk, but you ran it. I saw the sweat on your forehead. What happened Lou? You called me at 4:30.”

This is why I became friends with him, he’s smart and very good at analyzing situations. He and I are be the best in multiplayer games.

“So what? Maybe I had an after school activity.”

“You said maybe, so you didn’t.”

Shit.

I sigh.

“You know how I said my friend Nick was gay?” He nods. “Well he kinda pissed off my ‘friend’, Tash.” He looks confused. “Black chick, annoyingly poofy hair.” He nods again. “Nick pissed her off by hanging out with me a lot, so she said he was pretending to be gay. Then Nick found some stuff he wasn’t supposed to, which her boyfriend, Zac, football team captain, didn’t want him to find. So Nick got mad at me, so I didn’t go to his house after school and I started to walk home, but Zac and the football team grabbed me…”

“And? Lou, you gotta tell me what happened.”

I look at the floor, I don’t want to tell him, but I don’t want to hold this in.

“Did they… rape you?” he asks softy.

I nod as tears roll down my cheeks onto the carpet.

I keep replaying that over and over. I just want to forget about it, about everything. I don’t want to think anymore. I just want to sleep.

Scrubb drives me home, so I can sleep this off. He told me he was going to file a report for me, so I don’t have to think about it.