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18+ Language Violence Mature Content

3/4 Realm of the Dragons

by Holiday30


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

“Where did he????” The Armored dragon thought. That’s when his eyes landed in front of him a rested on Jugo who only had two fingers on the armored dragon nose.

“Be gone.” He said as he gave the armor dragon a gentle push. The Armored dragon went flying back as he crashed into some Aesculus. Jugo then took his blade out and stabbed the ground. “Ultimate Destruction.” A bright pink light shot up around the armored dragon as he yelled out in pain. He then passed out. Jugo once was convinced the armored dragon could not cause him any more trouble he walked over towards it. He seen Segundu crawled out of armored dragon’s mouth. He collapsed to the ground and was breathing heavily. Jugo lifted his blade. “Divine destruction.” He said as he swung his blade forward. But before his attack could be completed, his sword was blocked by a staff. He looked down and seen it was Shevia. “Shevia move.” He said. Shevia just stood her ground as her eyes connected with Jugo. “If you don’t move I will kill you too.” Jugo said once more, but Shevia did not move.

That’s when fire struck Jugo from behind. Shevia jumped back just in time to dodge Anartie’s blazing Aesculus falva. Once his fire attack had stopped Jugo was nowhere to be found.

“Did you turn him to ash?” Shevia asked.

“No way, that fire was not that hot. Not for the level Jugo’s at. He’s out here some-”

“Look out!” Shevia yelled. But she was to late Jugo already had his hand on Anartie’s nose. He gave him a gentle push as well as Anartie crashed into some Aesculus.

He then tossed his ground into the ground. His foot slammed on to the blade’s handle as he said, “Ultimate Destruction!” The pink light circled around Anartie.

Anartie thought quickly as he changed his body into stone as the pink light shot up around him. “What the?? Even using stone body I am still receiving damage? Damn it Jugo you truly have become too powerful.”

Once the pink light faded, Anartie scales went back to its normal colors as he passed out. Jugo Jumped off his blade and yanked it out the ground as he began to make his way towards the edge of the forest when………….

“Argh! Fire style, dancing flaming princess assault!” Shevia yelled as she sent like four fire whips towards Jugo. Jugo stopped walking as he swung his blade all over everywhere.

“Devine protection.” he said. A bright white sphere surrounded his body as the fire whips faded to the white sphere around his body.

“Ice style, Cold death kiss.” Shevia commanded as she blew onto her hand. The white sphere quickly froze. Once frozen Shevia stop blowing. “Is the deed done?” She thought. That’s when a hand popped out the ground and grabbed Shevia by her neck.

Shevia looked down as she seen Jugo holding her by her neck. She cracked a smile. Jugo quickly let her go and retreated back. Once she landed Shevia on her feet she slammed her hand onto the ground. “Water style, crashing waves.”

Water flooded the Aesculus forest. She looked around for a moment. “I know that wasn’t enough to seduce him, so where is he?” She closed her eyes as she began to reminiscence about her training.

21 of years ago…….

“Ahh!!!” Shevia exclaimed as her body hit the ground. “Owee!” She cried rubbing her back. Segundu went and sat down a huffed his breathe.

“Jugo can I stop now, it’s obvious that Shevia will never be able to us the sensory technique. She’s too weak. Hell she’s not even a rider nor does she have a dragon.” Segundu said as plopped down to the ground.

“Jugo came and stepped forth from under an Aesculus. He watched his baby sister battle back to her feet and put up her guard once more. He then glanced over to Segundu who just rolled his eyes. “Fine!” He said as he got up. He charged as Shevia once more with a mighty roar.

In a blink of an eye though Jugo appeared right in between the both of them to surprise attack them. Segundu startled was sent flying however Shevia quickly put up her guard and block her brother’s attack. Yes he did send her sliding back but she received little damage and most importantly she was able to stay on her feet. Segundu landed and bumped his head on the ground hard.

“Ouch! What the Jugo!” Segundu asked rubbing his head. Jugo just smiled.

“Now how is it that you have mastered the sensory technique, and yet you the one that took the most damage?”

“Jugo what kind of question; you know how. The sensory technique is great when you focus on the target, however the blind side or down fall to that is that if there is an unknown party enters into the fight it makes you variable to sneak attacks.” Segundu explained.

“That is true even with me, someone who has developed his sensory technique to the point that I can react to a sneak attack in five maybe four seconds can still fall to sneak attacks if executed quickly and swiftly enough.” Jugo responded back.

“Yeah I know.” Segundu said rubbing the sore spot on his head.

“So how is it our little sister is still standing and she has no sensory ability yet?” Jugo continued on to ask.

“Say what?” Segundu said as he looked over Jugo’s shoulder. There Shevia stood with her guard up. She finally put it down and took a couple of deep breathes. “No way. You did not attack her.”

“But I did. Look at the ground. She definitely went sliding back.”

“Then you must have attack her slower than me.”

“Nope I attack you both at the same time with same speed and strength.”

“Then she must have been able to see the attack.”

“So you telling me I was moving slowly enough for her to see the attack but too fast for you to?”

“I don’t know!” Segundu exploded as he rubbed his head in angry matter.

Shevia just looked at her hands. “What happened? How did I manage to block my big brothers attack?”

Jugo walked over to Shevia and put his hand on her shoulder. “Just think Shevia. What happened when I went to attack you?”

Shevia closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. “The wind told me something was coming at me fast.” she said.

“The wind?” Segundu asked.

“Yes and the ground told me to block.” Shevia Continued.

“The ground??? Jugo, you sure you didn’t hit Shevia that hard. Because she is making no sense.” Segundu fussed as he shook his head.

“No, I think our sister Shevia is a nature dragoner.” Jugo said.

“Nature, whadda what?” Segundu asked.

“A Nature Dragoner.” Jugo repeated.

“Oh great are you telling me Shevia is going to be an Aesculus hugger, because if so the war isn’t for her.” Segundu laughed.

“Shut up Segundu.” I can fight in the war you jerk!” Shevia fussed back.

“Shevia, do not pay the ignorance of your brother no mind. You know he special… anyway, did you know that some of the most powerful dragoners of this world was nature dragoners.” Jugo lectured.

“Wait, our most powerful dragoners where Aesculus huggers as well.” Segundu asked.

In fact yes they were. Three out of four of the founding fathers of the dragoners where Nature dragoners. Your hero, Gautama was a nature Dragoner, and 10 years ago the most powerful general was a nature dragoner.

“10 years ago…….hey 10 years ago mother was named the most powerful general in the dragoner army.” Segundu said.

“Yes I know which is why I don’t understand how you didn’t know ma was a nature dragoner. Her nickname in the army was mother nature.” Jugo fussed.

“Ah, I thought they were just giving out cool nick names.” Segundu answered back.

“Bro she made Aesculus attack creatures, the ground grab creatures, Poaceae cut creatures.” Jugo continued to fuss. Segundu just shrugged his shoulders. Jugo took a deep breath before turning back to Shevia.

“Look Shevia baby, mama was named strongest in the army 10 years ago. Gautama is called the greatest leader of all times. And those two only had control over one aspect of nature. You just told me you connected with two.”

Shevia eyes got wider as she felt her brothers encouraging words race through her. Jugo pulled out a white cloth and said. “Put this on over your eyes.”

Shevia took the cloth without hesitation and covered her eyes.

“Now Segundu attack her.”

“Say what?”

“Attack her.”

“no.”

“Why not?”

“Because she is blind folded. I could, and will kill her.”

“No you won’t.”

“Yes I will I am not doing it.”

Jugo and Segundu went back and forth for a while when Shevia cleared her throat.

“Segundu it’s alright. Jugo believes that I am stronger than both mother and Gautama, and now even I have that belief. So please Segundu come at me with all your might.”

Segundu looked at Jugo, who walked out of his way.

Segundu took a deep breath and said “Okay sis, get ready cause I am coming at you with all that I have.” He took off at full speed and swung his blade and to his surprise she dodged it perfectly. He then began to swing repeatedly and with every swing he got faster, but it did not change end results as Shevia kept dodging every swing.

“This is incredible.” Segundu thought as he watched his little sister continuously dodge his attacks.

Jugo just smiled as he hopped into the fight. He gave a mighty swift kick, but to his surprise his little sister blocked the kick. He quickly rebounded, and was behind her. He swung again, but she dodged once more and then gave her older brother a quick elbow to his stomach. The attack sent him reeling back. Once he regained his composure he looked up and his sister was gone. That’s when he felt two arms wrapped around him. He turned to a kiss on his check.

“Gotchu!” Shevia laughed.

Shevia now standing on top of the water pulled that same white cloth out her brother Jugo gave her so long ago. She put it over her eyes. “Jugo.” She thought. “You once told me you believed that I was the strongest dragoner to ever live. You believed in me when everyone else didn’t. You pushed me beyond measures that I could never phantom. I never met our father for he died in the war, before I could be born, but I remember mother saying ‘Segundu may look like ya’ll father, but Jugo his him reincarnated to the fullest. Same attitude, same determination, same good heart. Jugo you are always acting in the best of others.’ And you know what Jugo; I feel like you are trying to act in the best of others now, but the path you have chosen to do so on is a dark path which has no light. So for your safety I pry to the great karma system. Please if I am truly the dragoner who is supposed to change the fate of our world, of the universe then give me strength. Allow me to become that light for my brother Jugo so that I can guide him out of this darkness that he wonders around in. Allow me to illuminate and show him that there more than just that one path he has chosen. Karma I pray now, in the might name of Gautama that you give the strength to save my brother, my best friend, my hero, Jugo.”

Right then and there Jugo popped out of the water from behind and swung. Shevia dodged his attack and jumped in the air to perform a spinning kick. Jugo blocked the kick.

“So she got the blindfold on huh? I guess she’s going all out form the jump.” Jugo flipped her but she landed on the water gracefully. Jugo then threw another punch, but Shevia blocked it with her staff, and then quickly swung it. Jugo jumped back to dodge when his foot felt like it was grabbed. He looked down and seen the water had his leg. “Damn it.” He thought as he seen Shevia charged at him.

“Wind style pile driver shot.” She said as she jumped up in the air. She pulled her legs back to her chest. She then lunged forward sending off a massive wind attack. Jugo put his arms up to block it but the attack still sent him flying. He rolled across the waters hard before falling into it. After a few seconds he swam back to the surface and gasp for air. He then pulled himself on top of the water and as he coughed up blood and water.

“Damn that Shevia…..she really has gotten stronger.”

Jugo then at the last second sense Shevia and put his arm up to block her attack. You heard his risk snap as he grunted in pain. Shevia then dance around him. She tossed her staff up in the air as her brother Jugo swung with his other hand she dodged it and said,

“Wind style, gale palm.” She stuck his leg and made it bend inward, forcing Jugo to fall to his knees. Jugo once more grunted in pain. But swung again, but his sister just dodged it once more.

“Wind style, gale kick.” Shevia said as she kicked her brother across his face. Jugo crumble in her face as she caught her staff from out the air.

“This is it.” Shevia thought. “Thank you karma, Gautama, and universe, for allowing me to save my brother.” Shevia then struck down with all her might when……

“Jugo! Don’t forget what you promise!” The Mecha Black dragon voice raged through Jugo’s soul. That’s when Jugo caught the staff.

“He, he caught the staff? But how?” Shevia asked.

A smile grew upon Jugo’s face as he began to stand. A bright pink aura began to surround his entire body.

“You have grown strong Shevia. I have to admit that much.”

Shevia jumped back from her brother, but Jugo was so fast that not even nature itself could warn Shevia. Jugo just gently touch his sister chest as she went flying across the water. She crashed hard into an Aesculus. The white cloth fell from her face as she was wheezing and gasping for air. Vison blurred she watched her older brother walk towards her.

“I have to.” She thought. That’s she put one hand while grabbing her arm with other. Tears rolled down her face as you heard what sounded like furious roars from every angle. The water began to become choppy as the wind picked up.

“So then, she even has a lighting style…… She really has become the ultimate dragoner. One that might even be strong enough to change the tides in the last war.” Jugo thought.

“Jugo!” Shevia yelled as lighting itself began to shoot from her hand. That’s when a mighty beast face appeared from behind her. It was made out of lighting and when it roared it rocked the entire area. “I will save him.” She thought to herself. “Come Felis silvestris.” She commanded as she took off towards Jugo.

Jugo pulled out his sword. “Perfected devastation.” He swung his sword once as a pink light clashed against the beast face once the light disappeared Jugo a Shevia was on the opposite side of which they each stood. Blood dripped from Jugo side as he looked back with sorrowful eyes.

“Forgive me Shevia.” That’s when Shevia chest burst out blood and she fell into the water.

Jugo continuously walked across the water until he had reached dry land. He walked up a mountain side before suddenly stopping.

“You can come out now; I know you have been following me.” Jugo turned and looked. Out from the shadow of an Aesculus a man like figure came out. He was very dark and his pupils where purple. He wore a top hat that had a skull emblem on it.

“How long have you notice me?” The Very dark man asked.

“Since you first arrived. Back when Mecha black and the small army was about to fight.” Jugo responded.

“Ooo, aren’t we a smart cookie.” The very dark man laughed.

Jugo just looked at him with confusion.

“Oh yeah, that’s right you have never been to the human realm so don’t know what a cookie is.”

“Look I don’t got time for your silly antics shadow reader. Just tell me what you want.” Jugo snapped.

The Shadow reader just laughed. “Look here Jugo I just came to check on you to see if you were seriously going through with suicide mission you are on.”

“Suicide huh?” Jugo asked. “What makes my mission so suicidal?”

“Well you do have to kill the Mecha black dragon for that vison you had to come true……”

“Yeah, and so what of it? Do you not believe I can?”

“Well, you didn’t kill Anartie, Shevia, Segundu, or the armored dragon… and if I recalled right you said you would.”

“Well you recall wrong. I said I would if that is what it came to.”

“Oh and I guess it didn’t come to that?”

“Obviously.”

“I don’t know though. It look like little Shevia was giving you that work.”

“How about I give you some work.” Jugo said angrily. He got in shadow readers face who just broke into a laugh.

“Down boy. You may have beaten your old gang up, but I am a whole different type of fight.”

“You don’t think I can kick yo ass?”

“Oh no, I believe you can, but then you would lose to the Mecha black dragon for sure.”

“Tsk, that just means my vison don’t come true. Doesn’t that mean your master wins?”

“Oh no, see do not get it twisted my little fire breathing friend. My master was going to win weather your mission is completed or not. After all darkness consumes all.”

“Whatever.” Jugo answered as he walked away.

An evil grin grew upon the shadow reader’s face. “Oh master everything is going according to plan. And if I know you the way that I brag I do, you are hoping that Jugo’s vision comes true. For if it does it throws a monkey ranch into things, and I know how you love your chaos…. Hmm, so if Jugo wins today then he will go on to find the 6 chosen children to bring you down. However he will never find such beings, for there are no such beings that exist in any world! Mwahahaha!”


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Sun May 28, 2017 4:19 pm
Birdman wrote a review...



Hey there Holiday30. Birdman dropping by to help rescue your piece from the green room.

I haven't read any of the other parts but I don't really plan on it, so excuse me if I make a misstep anywhere. Let's start from the top then.

“Where did he????” The Armored dragon thought. That’s when his eyes landed in front of him a rested on Jugo who only had two fingers on the armored dragon nose.

Obviously this is a lead in from the previous chapter which brings up the question of, "Is it powerful enough to maintain the reader's interest?" I have of course not read the previous part so I would just have to judge from, "Does it spark my interest now?" The answer here is not so simple: maybe. Maybe depending on how they take it from here. The single piece of dialogue put me off a little, just in the way it was worded and the excess question marks. Messing around with grammar in anything that isn't poetry, always just seems like a bad decision to me.

This manipulation of dialogue continued throughout the piece and while I still knew what was going on, I didn't like how many teeth I had to pull to figure out the stating. If you're going to use slang within dialogue, it's always a good idea to put an apostrophe before or after where you cut things off. Such as in the transition of "you all" to "y'all", you would treat it like any other contraction.

Blue went over a lot of things so I don't have that much more to say on dialogue, just that it is really plain. there's nothing really there to spike my interest or compel me to want to know more about the characters. That's really the style of the whole story, kind of interesting but not enough to make me want to know the rest. I sort of want to know what happened before to lead into these events but I'm already getting so many answers from this text, so why would I want to?

The ellipsis man, what is it with the ellipsis? I personally do not like this amount of them to be used in such a short space, since they're such a powerful piece of punctuation. But if you're going to use this many of them, please stick to the standard of three dots, everything else looks trashy. there's a lot here that focuses mainly on the appearance of the work and how unsettling it is to potential readers.
For the edits you're going to have to do a lot of cleaning.

I don't have much else to say. If you have questions about the review, PM me.
Happy review day.
Birdman out.




Holiday30 says...


Hey I appreciate your input but at the same time I find it quite insulting to me. The reason why is because grammar, yes I did make a lot of grammar mistakes so I am not mad at you pointing that out, thank you... but you disapprove on the plot of the story when you haven't read the story. IDK why you all on this website do this, but i see it a lot, when you make comments like "I haven't read any of the other parts but I don't really plan on it, so excuse me if I make a misstep anywhere. Let's start from the top then.And I am like, this is a really complex story. This story goes along with several other stories as well as the main story Satan's Children. If you do not read from the beginning you will not understand none of it and then you gonna give me a really bad review. And to me that's not really fair. Another thing I see you all do up here is criticize a person story. I know criticism is needed, but you should also encourage them. For me, I want to know how I can make my story better, but at the same time I want to know what did you like. Who was you favorite character, things of that nature.



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Fri May 12, 2017 6:48 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



“Ooo, aren’t we a smart cookie.” The very dark man laughed.

Jugo just looked at him with confusion.

“Oh yeah, that’s right you have never been to the human realm so don’t know what a cookie is.”


Lol.

Question about this.

“Well, you didn’t kill Anartie, Shevia, Segundu, or the armored dragon… and if I recalled right you said you would.”


Didn't Jugo just kill Shevia right now? That's what happened here, right?

“Forgive me Shevia.” That’s when Shevia chest burst out blood and she fell into the water.


ANYWAY.

This needs a lot of cleaning up - I think I left you that Tumblr thing about dialogue formatting on the last bit of this I read, but I don't remember. There are a lot of words that aren't quite right, as well, like "risk" for "wrist" and "matter" for "manner" and things like that.

Which I could go on and on about, but I'm assuming this is a first draft, so I hate to do that. But you'll definitely want someone to proofread this for you at some point, to make sure all the words and punctuation are correct.

That's a major issue for this story, but underneath all of that, I think this is pretty good. You used a flashback effectively to show us the way Shevia and Jugo were when they were growing up (or at least learning their magic or whatever) versus the way they are now, on the opposite sides of a war. You gave Shevia a pretty beautiful monologue there, when she was praying to whoever she could to help her help her brother and bring him back to the light. It was actually very touching and not boring and not obvious like monologues sometimes are - it was just heartfelt. And then you had this, which was just heartbreaking.

“Perfected devastation.” He swung his sword once as a pink light clashed against the beast face once the light disappeared Jugo a Shevia was on the opposite side of which they each stood. Blood dripped from Jugo side as he looked back with sorrowful eyes.

“Forgive me Shevia.” That’s when Shevia chest burst out blood and she fell into the water.


The problem is, the punctuation and formatting and word usage is sometimes so off that most people are probably not going to see that. They're just going to see that the mechanics are wrong.

Like I said, this is probably only a first draft. Mechanics are a lot more important once you reach the final stages - once the plot is solid and you've worked out all the kinks. But at that point, definitely definitely definitely ask around for a proof-reader who's patient and willing to help you smooth out the actual writing.

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Holiday30 says...


I don't wanna spoil the ending for u so I can't answer that question "Didn't Jugo just kill Shevia right now? That's what happened here, right?" Just suggest u read part 4.....yes I'm i have a lot of spelling errors...lol believe it or not I do go back and reread my material....i do catch some of it but not all of it....my proof reader loves my story though so finding someone with patients is already done as she already left so many red marks on this story....but thanks again for the review




Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
— Jules de Gaultier