Young Writers Society

first off, the piece is beautifully composed. the use of adjectives like "sun flirting with my eyes" and "warm gravel path" really truly conveys the essence of a warm pleasant day. simply reading these few lines made me feel what you felt while writing this (i hope)
the last two lines especially, the one where you compare yourself with a goddess is such an elegant way to end it
i love how it ends on a confident note.
the only thing i somewhat failed to comprehend is your choice of text for the poem and the hyphenation done, i may be an inexperienced writer but i found t it somewhat difficult to read at first. other than that, it is wonderfully written,

I have enjoyed reading this poem.I have to say,it was very descriptive! When you describe the ants crawling around the narrator’s toes and the wind playing with the narrator’s hair.I also loved the personification in the poem.It made the poem much more entertaining to read.Great job on your piece! I hope you have a wonderful and nice day/night!

Hi whatchamacallit! hannah here for a quick review. I hope it is helpful!

Ooh wow, this was so fun to read! I don't even know what to say, it was descriptive, metaphoric and overall wonderful.
My favorite lines were probably these:

"the ants tiptoe around my / toes.
usually my leg bounces / with unspent anxiety, but now / it is still, like a confident pebble / laying where all can see it / on the warm gravel path."

It just gave me such a picturesque scene in my head.

One thing is this line:

"the ants tiptoe around my / toes."
I feel like the suffix/word "toe" was a bit repetitive, unless it was supposed to be that way.

Thanks so much for writing this! I hope this review was helpful, that you keep writing and have a great day!


Sincerely,


hannah0528

Loving your love for prose poetry recently! And the last two lines are ~chef's kiss~ <3

there is a skill in knowing what to chase / and when to exchange smirks from a distance

ants crawling by, hesitant like I am / some goddess, and I let them / for I am my own goddess.