Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Chapter 1
Nivea's POV
I sat on the floor of our new house, tecnically it was our new mansion, but I really didn't care, living in Romania is a dream come true, but really this place creeps me out! the people here are all pale and they have dark hair and creppy houses.
We have the most non-creepy house on our block, "isn't this exciting?!" mom asked me and Geo, we looked at eachother then took a step back from her, she's just a little too excited for us, "yeah ma, way to pick the most creepiest place to live" Geo said quietly.
"Would you two grow up?!" she yelled before storming off, leave it to Geo to make her mad, "why did we have to come here early?" I asked Geo, "she wants us to go to school, today instead of skipping" leave it to mom to make our lives more tiring!
So we were rushed out the door and we had to walk there...we got lost a few times, but its all good! When we got there all the students looked the same, dark hair, blue eyes, it made us feel out of place, we had, bleach blond hair, freckles, and hazel eyes.
"You feel like we don't belong?" Geo asked me, "just a bit" I said, and a group of jocks aproached us, they were huge! "look its some albino's!" the head jock said, he looked like dark version of ken.
Black hair that was side swept, baby blue eyes, squared chin, "look its ken, your just a little out of place, go back to your barbie dreamhouse" I said, hey when your dad is a really famous actor you know all his lines.
Out of me and my brother I'm the tough one he just doesn't like getting into fights with jocks "no more come backs? good" I said and crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him, "Colton, watch it, she looks like she's gonna hit you!" one of the other jocks yelled.
I got an idea, hitting him didn't sound too bad, so I drop kicked him in the groin, he fell to the ground, I bent down, "you lose" I whispered and me and Geo left as all the girls started walking over there and looking at him.
*At the end of the day*
Mom had someone from our staff drop off Geo's car, yeah my car is still at home my mom wont let me drive my Camaro to school, so I'm stuck riding with Geo, on our way to his car we passed the jocks, Colton glared at me.
Score! I'm hated by the head jock! I feel so acoplished! I'd rather be hated by the populars than accepted by them, then I'd be called the popular girl bouncer...no that was my tag last year, I'd rather die than be called that again.
Colton's POV
The new girl just makes me want to cut my head off! She's all brute and not how I thought an actors daughter should act, her hazel eyes are mischeivious, her long blond hair gives me a headache, her face is cute, and thats my problem I love her!
I went to ask her out, and she kicked me! Like why would anyone want to kick me?! I'm handsome! I'm a demon kings son! Normal girls would be happy to have me in love with them!
After she left I went into the principals office, my dads the demon king and the principal of my school, "hey dad" I said and sat in the chair across from his desk "nice for you to drop by, Colton" he said.
"Does the new girl know about the school?" I asked "no, and I dont want her and her brother to know, their mother said it was best for her not to know" dad said and looked at me then a big smile spread across his face.
"Well, I'll be murdered," dad sat back and his smile got bigger,"you like her! don't you, Colton?" he just kept smiling, then he looked at me with a mischiveous look, that cannot be very good, it never is.
"Well I'll see you tomarrow, Colton" with that he flashed out of his office, leaving me in his office completely and utterly scared of what he might do...its not like he would tell her, right?
I walked back to my appartment, thinking of what that man has planned...
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Hello to you and Happy September Review Day!!! I just type my thoughts and any nitpicks that I find as I read. So let's go... allons-y!

1. Use a capital letter for the personal pronoun 'I':
I sat on the floor of our new house, tecnically it was our new mansion, but I really didn't care, living in Romania is a dream come true, but really this place creeps me out!
This sentence contains good writing but is a little too long. I've split it up below for you:
I sat on the floor of our new house. Tecnically it was our new mansion, but I really didn't care. Living in Romania is a dream come true but really this place creeps me out!
the people here are all pale and they have dark hair and creppy houses.
You need a capital T and do you mean 'crappy' or 'creepy'?
So we were rushed out the door and we had to walk there...we got lost a few times, but its all good!
'Its' means that it owns something. 'It's' means it is. So just change that.
I feel so acoplished!
You made a little typo. Accomplished.
"Well I'll see you tomarrow, Colton"
Tomorrow*
I noticed you have trouble with capital letters, so I put this information below to help you out:
Spoiler
What can I say?
2. Use a capital letter to begin a sentence or to begin speech:
The man arrived. He sat down.
Suddenly Mary asked, "Do you love me?"
3. Use capital letters for many abbreviations and acronyms:
G.M.T. or GMT (Greenwich Mean Time)
N.A.T.O. or NATO or Nato (North Atlantic Treaty Organization)
4. Use a capital letter for days of the week, months of the year, holidays:
Monday, Tuesday
January, February
Christmas
Armistice Day
5. Use a capital letter for countries, languages & nationalities, religions:
China, France
Japanese, English
Christianity, Buddhism
6. Use a capital letter for people's names and titles:
Anthony, Ram, William Shakespeare
Professor Jones, Dr Smith
Captain Kirk, King Henry VIII
7. Use a capital letter for trade-marks and names of companies and other organizations:
Pepsi Cola, Walkman
Microsoft Corporation, Toyota
the United Nations, the Red Cross
8. Use a capital letter for places and monuments:
London, Paris, the Latin Quarter
the Eiffel Tower, St Paul's Cathedral
Buckingham Palace, the White House
Oxford Street, Fifth Avenue
Jupiter, Mars, Sirius
Asia, the Middle East, the North Pole
9. Use a capital letter for names of vehicles like ships, trains and spacecraft:
the Titanic
the Orient Express, the Flying Scotsman
Challenger 2, the Enterprise
10. Use a capital letter for titles of books, poems, songs, plays, films etc:
War And Peace
If, Futility
Like a Virgin
The Taming of the Shrew
The Lion King, Gone With The Wind
(https://www.englishclub.com/writing/caps0.htm)
There you go! Hopefully I've helped. You're story is really interesting and is coming along well. You're going to be a great writer!
You are getting really good, Hiddencities.
However, I advise that you check spelling and grammar in the future. I really want to know what happens next, and that's good! You've got me wondering what will happen.
Thanks!
There is a bit of tense and verb confusion which might be due to perhaps excitement at writing the story. I noticed some misspelling in your work but then it's not that huge of an issue. I think you should have left a bit of suspense. I mean, everything went by too fast, be a bit more descriptive in your work or else your story will be just a quick read. Let your readers be filled with questions and puzzles at first.
I do like the story line though and I would like to know what happens between the jock and the girl
Good luck and keep it up
xxx