Living with depression is like getting lost in the fog, only it never ends. You´re lost and have no idea of where you´re going. You can´t see anyone and start feeling lonely. Eventually you get scared because you have lost your path. You manage to hold on for a while, but the fog gets thicker. You wish everyday that the sun will show itself, but it doesn´t. You´ve lost all hope. It´s enough. There´s nothing more for you to do. You have no purpose, or at least it feels that way. At the end you have no soul. You´re numb, immune to life. It´s time for the fog to end, for it all to end. You take your last breath, and you don´t think. You can´t think. This is it. This was all you were going to get out of life. All of a sudden there comes a bright light and you smile before you realise what you´ve done. It´s to late. You will never see that light again, but you will never see the fog again either.
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140,387 Literary Works • 673,145 Reviews
Hi!
I just came across this and decided to review it. The story was well-written, and i see no grammatical mistakes, except for the end, where you said "to" instead of "too" in "it's too late". Also, in the contractions, you added an extra space, so I suggest you get rid of that space.
You are very talented. Good luck and keep writing!
Depression is word I try to avoid, not believing that that's what's "wrong" with me. But here I am feeling the same as you're little piece and somehow I still want to deny the fact that it's true. The sad thing is I remember what it was like to be happy or to believe I was happy. Now I have this blank feeling inside me, longing for the feeling of "happiness" again.
In a way, I'm really glad I stumbled upon this. It's the first thing in a while that's made me feeling something, like honestly feel something. It made me realize I'm tired of feeling this way and something has got to change soon.
Well this is what I originally came here for.. a review. I really liked it, obviously. It was very well written and I didn't have any problem getting into it. Not because I too feel this way, but it wasn't hard for me to feel every word.
Keep up the good work. Hope to see more from you.
-Andy
All you've written in your article is true, but I'm 'fraid to say that it doesn't really capture the reader's attention. You should try to make it more metaphoric and develop the usage of figurative language. Also, the grammar is shaky.
Hello! Depression, huh? I've got something for ya, wait!
My edition-
I'm not making it light, it's just what i think, honestly. Anyway, let's get to your piece now. Pretty good starting i should say. You've compared depression with fog (is this a metaphor?) I'm terribly sorry, i suck at the figure of speech but no worries i'm learning it! :3 And, oh, there's needed one extra "O" in the line before the last one. :3
I don't feel you've written this to know your grammatical errors and all that, i just think, depression can be a very dangerous thing only if you allow it to. So, you've a choice. And, i believe, ending everything doesn't necessarily end it all. So, one better not give up.
~Nire
This work really hits hard with me because my friend was diagnosed with depression this past year. After a lot of things happened, she ended up in a hospital a couple hours away from home. I got mad at myself all the time because I wanted to help her but couldn't, and she was upset but I couldn't do anything. And now to she that this might have been how she felt... it just hurts.
Since this probably has a meaning to you as well, I don't think it's really fitting to critique it. If that's what depression feels like, then that's what depression feels like. I don't want to talk to you about word choice when the paragraph is clearly meant for meaning.
I don't know if you're depressed, but I'm telling you: There are people here who love you and will miss you if you ever try to escape the fog. I missed my friend so much when she was in that hospital. I missed her like she was dead, even though she was alive. There is someone here who you mean the world to.
-Grace