Should I?
it gives us a view of what's out there
but no one knows untill they venture beyond
beyong its wooden panes and plates of glass
there is a whole world to discover
what could you find? who knows what's in store
there is a whole world to discover
beyond that window, theres so much to see
you could find true love, or a world of hurt
everything in the world has sides, both light and dark
beyond the window
things aren't always what they seem
somethings may spell nothing but trouble
things inside are safe and without contrast
so the real question is
should i venture beyond?
and answer the eternal calling of life
to see whats in store?
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Thanks for that.
And I get what your saying.
I prefer reading poetry than writing but every once in a while i take a crack at it.
So all the comments on improvement are greatly appreciated.
It's an OK piece. The rhythm is steady and that makes it nice and easy to read. It seems to be lacking something because it doesn't have any real passion or something in it which catches my attention.
You could try including some vivid descriptions or make use of some poetic techniques - alliteration, assonance etc. This would really add something to your poem, making it standout more.
What you're trying to say in the poem is nice - the meaning of it is something that everyone can relate to but at the moment it's very simplistic.