Published July 26, 2008
Vs. 1
I have about twenty reasons to live,
I can list them to you so fast.
But you keep counting on the difficulties,
Unlike you, I don’t drown my secrets in a flask.
Vs. 2
I have about twenty reasons to kill you,
I can let go of my resolve in a flash.
But to be honest for once,
It’s strange our personalities chose now to clash.
Chorus
Don’t read between the lines yet,
I’m still counting on winning this bet.
A few minutes of staying here,
Won’t take away your petty fear.
Just don’t read between the lines yet,
There’s a chance I can still win this bet.
Vs. 3
I have about twenty reasons to apologize,
I can be a better person, I swear.
But let’s be perfectly honest,
You didn’t even complete my dare.
Vs. 4
I have about twenty reasons to die, now
I can tell by the shift in your voice.
But I’m so sick of the complaining,
Realize I could rule your life with one choice.
Chorus
Don’t read between the lines yet,
I’m still counting on winning this bet.
A few more answers from you,
Won’t make me give in to what you do.
Just don’t read between the lines yet,
There’s a chance I can still win this bet.
Don’t read between the lines yet,
A few minutes of staying here
Can re-instate your fear,
I’m risking my life on this bet,
So for God’s sake don’t read between the lines yet.
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Canary word: Present
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141,411 Literary Works • 674,393 Reviews
Are you new to this songwriting thing? Because this was pretty good. Simple, yes, and a little hard to sing at times, but overall it's a very good job.
The main reason I asked if this was your first, is because the song is simple in the structure and beat. Take this part, for example:
You've made the rhymes very obvious, because it's two lines together. I'm pointing this out, not because it's a bad thing to do, but it makes it a bit more difficult to sing or play. Yes, I can easily put a tune to this, but it's actually very difficult to sing, especially when the third and fourth lines are so different to the others. If it were a bit more complex in the beat, it would probably be easier.
I really liked this and I think you did a good job. I hope you take my advice and try some new things in future!