Young Writers Society

For the most part I like it. You might wanna use some better adjectives. The rhythm of the poem tends to be very off. Sometimes you rhyme and sometimes you don't. It's kind of hard to concentrate on what you're talking about. It's a little rough, but it has great potential. Your adjectives don't always correspond with the last sentence in the stanza. You also might wanna look through and double check your grammar. You say "I am freak/I am weak". You should say "I am a freak".

I do like it though, because it boldly tells the truth of who you are. It's very forward and upfront and I think that's why I'm so attracted to it.

Hiya! Happy review day. (3 min of it left!!!)

I really liked what you said with this poem. I especially live the message of self love and self glorification even in the face of such daunting criticisms. I believe we all go through a time in our lives that people try to pull us down with things that they say or do, often rooted in the desire to make us believe that we are something less than we are. I love the way this is formatted, with the narrator expressing their desire to be the selves no matter what.

I can only see a few minor errors in the writing of this poem. So very nicely done.

-GL24

Knight Dragon, here to review!

Technical first:
I felt that all of these needed to be sentences, instead of commas after some of them. You're making these short, simple statements, but then not letting them stand on their own. Let them stand by themselves, as individual sections making up the whole.

"I am of many things." You are of many things, or you are many things? Please clarify.

"Not for you or for them just because I know I can.", I think there should be a "but" between "them" and "just".

And I feel like you could have elaborated a little bit more. You describe yourself so negatively, but then there's two to three positive lines, and then the end. ??? Please go on just a little bit more.

Hope this helps!

Knight Malachi here to review, trying to clean up the Green Room.
So this is a really cool format. I liked it, and there aren't a lot of poems wit this specific format. There are some similar, but I really like the writing down the middle.It adds a certain feeling to it.
Now, I will leave the technical errors to Dragonfphoenix, but let me tell you that this poem was one that was somewhat sad, and yet the end left me happy and hopeful. I like stuff that ends with at least a glimmer of hope, versus really dark stuff. Good job.
Keep it up!

Hi Haven!

It is lovely to see you posting poetry - I adore poetry! Is this meant to be one of those "I am" poems? It currently looks like that but those couple lines throughout ruin the theme.

In poetry we have a little problem, we don't have very many words. Across the board poets are forced to find new and interesting ways of saying not too much in the way of lines and sentences. What we are missing here is some of that new and innovative way of saying what you're saying. I feel like if we had some imagery in here and some longer lines detailing the why and wherefore, the specifics or background, just so that we get a little more emotion from the poem.

Now, this might just be me! Poetry is always a very subjective form and you must ALWAYS remember that if you like something, keep it, what you want to read is more important than what your reader wants to read, a lot of the time. I say what I say because I think poetry is very much about being connected to the speaker and the characters inside the poems, I always feel like I should really care about what's being said. That or it should just be super beautiful. Right now you're on the edge of the first - I feel some sympathy but not a lot of empathy, and it isn't very beautiful. Just by adding some imagery, similes and metaphors you can change a lot of that!

I look forward to any changed you might make on this, please tell me if you do!
- Penguin