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E - Everyone

Let her go

by Hari1998


It was that time of the day when the sun finishes his daily work of giving life to the creatures of earth and settling down to call it as a day, it was during that time Tara and Saheeb were getting back to their hotel after visiting a nearby island in a motorboat. The boat was moving effortlessly in that depth of the ocean like a swan moving in a pond, the ocean was so deep and full of coral reefs that it seems like the boat is flying over the mountains full of green trees. The couples fondled in the boat looking at the horizon where the sky as red as volcanic lava kisses the glassy green ocean. It was a dream trip for her as she was in love with exotic world and he was in love with her so much that he agreed to go on this trip even with his Thalassophobia. when they were floating both in love and water she asked him “How did I look today?” and he said in a sarcastic tone “ not ugly” and looked at her face and he can see angst in it, then he said smilingly “ you know you are the most beautiful thing in the existence, why do you have to keep on asking me this while you already know the answer” yes, what he said was truth from his heart, for he was so in love with her that he couldn’t notice beauty in anyone else, he couldn’t even see beauty in nature or in art when he was with her, for the only thing that was in focus to his eyes is her. But, the opposite is not true cause she is so in love with her, she loves exotic lifestyle with parties and men always surrounding her, she never truly loved anyone except her. The only other person she liked next to her was Saheeb, at first it started for her like with every other men, she was physically attracted to him but at some point of time she started to admire his foolishness about her, who wouldn’t like a fool who is eager to do anything for you and thus started a lovely relationship. All these foolishness and plethora of affection couldn’t make her get out of her love for lavishness, as she continued her usual lifestyle and even had couple of male companions during their relationship, she never paid attention to his cravings, as she was always before him for her. He who had known all of her narcissistic behaviour and her treason towards their relationship couldn’t even get angry on her as the love he knows doesn’t know hatred.

Perception obstructs the truth, it is what make people protagonist and antagonist in any given story. Hitler seen by the world is not the same seen by his Nazi followers, their perspective on their leader and cause is totally different from the truth. So, is Tara really a incarnation of evil as everyone thought, not really she is actually a regular cheerful girl who likes to be a centre of attention, who like to socialize with people, who was so insouciant about life and never wanted a relationship in first place, she enjoyed being free but, nevertheless gone with the flow of life. Deep down she wanted challenges, adventures and new experiences and she found one. If both their characters have been juxtaposed anyone could say that they are like north and south pole of a the magnets, thus they have been attracted.

The reality flutters back and the dream in which they floated continued, it was a rather cold day and there were no other passengers in the boat except the dreamy couples and a man to drive the boat. The breeze was not so merciful and splintered the flowery skin of Tara, so she went in to take her jacket and while returning back to her dear heart she was tripped by a rope in the deck into the shallow ocean. She fell into ocean making a loud noise which resembled that of a naïve sparrow being attacked by a mighty hawk. When this sound reached Saheeb’s ear drums his mind went into the state of turmoil all of a sudden his fear for water seems like a grain of rice in front of his fear of loosing his loved one, and so without thinking any further he jumped into the water in the same place she fell. It is in the water that his phobia came back to him again, but he couldn’t lose to his phobia now certainly not before finding Tara, but he didn’t thought of what he was gonna do after finding her as sadly both of them don’t know to swim. The ocean that was seen so beautiful from above a few moments before now feels like the ninth ring of inferno for him and so he started to fling his hands to find her. It was not so long before he find her and it was at that moment he felt his heart beating again, it was mere moments before he finds her after this obscene event but it felt like eternity for him. Soon after he finds her he realised that she was losing her breath due to the shock and without any hesitation he brought his awful big lips towards her tender flowery little lips and tried to give her his last breath and they felt a warmth inside their mouth a feeling that they wanted to live for it, it made them feel thirsty even when there is nothing but water all around them or it could be thirst of wanting more of each other . She regained her conscious slowly at that moment and realised that she was in the protective hands of her Saheeb, it was exuberating for her as she had never felt anything like this before in her life. It was under such extraordinary and panic striking moments like these that make people realise what they really want and that was totally true in Tara’s case as she found the experience she had never experienced before and that of one she always wanted to be there in her life, the feel of love. It could be true that where there is love there is pain as when she felt love for the first time it came to her conscience the impossible situation that they were in now and she was in fear, but this time not in fear of her existence but of that of her dear heart and his phobia of water. At that moment they had observed another amusing scene similar to that of an angel falling from the sky, after all it was their guardian angel answering their call in form of a sailor. When the sailor reached them Saheeb’s mind reeled so fast and he understood that it was impossible for the sailor to carry both of their weights, so he quickly gave her to him and looked in his eyes that even a simpleton could understand asking mercifully to save her all the while he was drifting to the pits of the shallow ocean. His eyes were staggered on her until she reached the point where he no longer could see what's happening above him. As the moment reached he started to look around him, this time not with fear but with the heart of a person who has fulfilled the destiny of his life and this time the ocean doesn’t look scary to him but rather beautiful, a beauty that he had never seen in his life before, it was there he found the true beauty of nature it was there where he finally let her go. 


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126 Reviews


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Sat Jul 18, 2020 6:50 pm
Hkumar wrote a review...



Hi there!

I am here to review your work. It was a good and emotional story and had some beautiful imagery. You gave the description of both the characters fairly well such that we could analyse their real nature. The man was a gentle and devoted lover but the woman was a bit self obsessed and didn't realize the true angel in her life. They were poles apart but still had each others company.

You put this work under Essay/article, though I guess you could have done it more justice in a Short Story. Like the other reviewer pointed out you must break the work into paragraphs to make it look more clear and appealing. I believe the starting was a bit off but it gained momentum as we moved ahead in the story. The last paragraph was the soul of this story and though it wasn't a very unique plot but still the purity of love that you described felt real. But like I said before it could have been much better if this was divided into smaller parts for more convenience.

I believe the middle paragraph was sort of analysis about the character of Tara. I don't think we can blame her for not being faithful to Saheeb. Her nature and upbringing made her very different and her aspirations caused her to become self-obsessed.

So there were a few places where you missed some punctuations (like comma before opening quotations) and capitalisation. Also some of the sentences were too long, you were just putting commas and inserting small dialogues without putting any periods. I am just pointing out one-

It was a dream trip for her as she was in love with exotic world and he was in love with her so much that he agreed to go on this trip even with his Thalassophobia. When they were floating both in love and water she asked him, “How did I look today?” and he said in a sarcastic tone, “Not ugly” and looked at her face. He can see angst in it and then he said smilingly, “You know you are the most beautiful thing in the existence, why do you have to keep on asking me this while you already know the answer.”
Yes, what he said was truth from his heart, for he was so in love with her that he couldn’t notice beauty in anyone else, he couldn’t even see beauty in nature or in art when he was with her, for the only thing that was in focus to his eyes is her.

So I just did some minor changes and removed one 'and'. These are just some suggestions.

Overall I really appreciate your work and I hope you will continue share more of your talent with us.

Great work!
Keep writing :D




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Mon Jul 06, 2020 6:03 am
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queenoni wrote a review...



Hey there! This was a pretty powerful story and I really enjoyed it. I do have a few critiques, however.

First of all, upon opening the story, the first thing I saw was how all the writing was clumped into just a few long paragraphs. This makes the story quite a bit harder to read and follow. Splitting the story up into more paragraphs would make it more appealing to readers and a whole lot easier to read.

Another thing was that you had a good amount of grammatical errors. A lot of punctuation was missing, there were run-on sentences, and a lot of verbs were conjugated incorrectly. Overall, grammatical errors make stories a bit less appealing to readers.

By just fixing these things you'll make the story a lot more enjoyable for readers. Your writing is really meaningful and you're really creative, so I liked the story a lot despite the errors.

We all have room to improve, keep writing and practicing and you'll do amazingly!




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Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:27 am
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Fadzie says...



Wow. This is interesting it took a different turn and was different from what I was expecting. I enjoyed reading it and as I was reading I was wondering how he was going to let her go.

Honestly I thought he was going to walk away from her find someone who loved him with the way he loved her, I did not think that he was going to sacrifice himself and feel fulfilled and let her go in that way.

Your imagination is creative and if you keep writing and exploring it you can do wonders. I am no guru in punctuation and grammar but I feel you should improve in the punctuation area. And your story looked like 1 long paragraph which discouraged me from reading it at first. So I feel you should write your story in a format that will not push away the reader before they start reading it.

The title was good and the twist and turns were good. So overally you did a good work. I just feel you should make certain improvements but keep writing like this and you will be unstoppable.




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Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:26 am
Fadzie wrote a review...







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