What Happened a poem about today's lazy society

I made the changes. Thank you so much people. ^_^ Please continue to review it so I can continue to perfect it.

I agree with the What Happened comment above, b/c it made it longer, when some of it seems to be unnecessary repetition, meaning the repetition didn't convey that emotional impact that a repetition, or chorus may give out. But that of course is the risk with a repetition like what happened, it's either going to be very impactful, emotionally in the poem, or it's going to seem bland and annoying, it was especially evident in this stanza:

What happened to tanning in the sun?

What happened to water balloons and wet shoes, or seeing baboons at the zoo

What has happened to us?

Where is everybody?

I can't see a single person.

What happened to the people?


But, for the most part I thought this poem was decent, it had a nice flow, and a very nice simplicity to it, but just some of the What happened I felt could have been taken out. Keep it up.

Thank you alot for reviewing it and I will be on it to fix it. ^_^ It's just I kinda only took like 10-15 minutes to quickly write it and I posted it here for help on revising it. So thank you alot. And thanks for the compliments.

Hao_Nguyen wrote:What Happened by Hao Nguyen

I look out the window and what do I see?
I see the tall, towering trees.
I see the dew-soaken grass.
I hear the orchestra of small bees.
I can see on the road a pile of broken glass.
I see the vivid sunny skies.
I see the scattered rocks.
And the clouds looming way up high.
And a littered sock?
I see all these things
Either sitting in the shade of the conifers as the wind stirs in the air
While birds fly angelically without care
Or laying in the rays of the sun
Where beatiful flowers grow
And where rushing rivers run.
I see all these things
But there is something missing...
Where is everybody?

What happened to all the people who once played on these streets,
Kicking a ball from one street end to the other with one another
Calling it a make-shift soccer?
What happened to long summer days
Where you would ride your bike down the gravel paths down to the park?
What happened to walking your dog so far that she began to bark?
What happened to the days where you grabbed your bat
And began hitting rocks into the river
Watching them plunge as you shivered
From the cool mist and refreshing water?

What happened to chasing butterflies by the meadow in the morning,
Or dragonflies in the fields at noon,
Or fireflies by the lake at night?
What happened to seeing a beautiful sight?
What happened to those days where you ran so much
You wanted to throw up
But you kept on running
Because you were having too much fun?

What happened to tanning in the sun?
What happened to water balloons and wet shoes, or seeing baboons at the zoo
What has happened to us?
Where is everybody?
I can't see a single person.
What happened to the people?

What happened to picnics and laughs?
With ants crawling across your calves?
What happened to basketball by the courts?
Or even summer shorts?
What happened to being with the friends you use to spend time with?
And seeing that special person you miss?
What happened to that dream of a perfect kiss?
What happened to being dared to play nightly visits
To the dark woods or a spooky cemetary?
What happened to making the perfect memory?
What happened to just having fun?

Now the majority of the generation sits lazily,
Staring at the TV screen in hesitation
As they wait for something interesting to watch.
They lie helpless and motionless
As they play their videogames and eat for fun.
Come on!
You can't be serious!
They wait and talk to others over their phones
That they own
While instant messaging others over the internet
While looking up idiotic videos
On sites' names they tend to forget.
Go outside!
Friends have told and scold them,
But they aren't so bold.
They say they will, but they don't...
No! They won't!
They stay inside their walls making their calls
As their friends pity this lazy city and all who inhabit it.

What happened to a beautiful scenary and imagination,
Instead of this disgusting obesity and procrastination?

And as I star out the window
To see the giant tree, the melody of the bees...
To see the wet morning grass, the shattered glass...
To see the scattered rocks, the littered sock...
To see the bright blue skies, the clouds way up high,
And the birds that angelically fly by,
I sigh and ask myself why?
What happened?

Hi, Hao! Great poem. Really sad.

I think it is a bit long. You have four stanzas of "What happened to this?" and "What happened to that?" The lament started to sound a bit whiny after a while.

I kind of like that the rhyme scheme is random, but some of the rhymes sound forced. I would say, don't try to rhyme with rock if you're going to have to start talking about a sock in the middle of your nature scene, you know?

Where you would ride your bike down the gravel paths down to the park?

What happened to walking your dog so far that she began to bark?

While looking up idiotic videos

On sites' names they tend to forget.

And as I star out the window

Kicking a ball from one street end to the other with one another