My Lost Promises-Chapter one

My story starts off a little rough. It starts with clouds of smoke in a condensed room. It starts with body against body, with skin on skin. There’s rusted needles on the floor, bags ripped and torn so their contents can spill on a table, empty packs of cigarettes on the counter, and crushed beer cans on every surface available. There’s screams as people battle the demons of their minds while they’re so under the drugs it’s insane, there’s moans as people indulge themselves. There’s tears stained to cheeks as people pass out in the bathtub.

My story really starts late on a Friday night, when I’m in the house with Momma, Dane, and the other kids. By kids, I mean a variety of things, which is people (mostly girls) from the ages of twelve to twenty three. There’s fourteen of us here. Momma isn’t actually our mother, she’s our caretaker, our foster mom. I don’t know why she’s aloud to have so many kids here. I don’t know why we haven’t been taken away from her yet, due to the circumstances. But we’re still here, and while we’re here, we have to pay it forward.

So, back to the story. I’m sitting on the couch with Momma, Dane, and McKayla. McKayla goes by Kla most of the time. That’s the skinny name momma gave her. McKayla was just too much of a mouthful for drunk or high men to remember when they were ordering a bed-warmer. I think the TV was on, but honestly, I was so high I couldn’t even stand up.

I remember the doorbell ringing, and Dane getting up and walking to the door, but not before he grabbed the shotgun leaning against the couch. Dane was Momma’s boyfriend, or fiancé. They had been engaged since I had come to live there five years ago, when I was twelve, but they’d never gotten married, because then a background check would have to commence or Momma would get the kids taken away. And we were her money source.

There was clicking of locks as Dane unlocked the many barriers on the door. Most people who ordered us called ahead, or were invited, so Dane always could keep us protected by answering the door first. There were so many guns in the house, and everyone was trained in shooting so we could watch ourselves. But no matter how much training you have in gun use, it doesn’t help if you’re so lit you see everything through blurred lines.

I vaguely heard mumbling, a deep, throaty laugh, and a catcall. One of Dane’s friends. Figures. I turned my attention back to the TV for a moment, and continued stroking McKayla’s hair.

“Kitty!” Dane’s voice, close to my ear, echoes in my head and I jump. I feel thick hands close around my midriff and lift me off the couch, as McKayla falls of my lap onto the couch where I was previously sitting. When my feet landed on the floor, I turned around stiffly. My body wasn’t really in my control and my head was full of fog, but when I saw the boy (he could be no older than nineteen) I felt a spark ignite in my mind.

“It’s Kat,” I muttered, pulling my skirt down. The skirt was about four inches long, so it didn’t cover my butt or legs at all, but what was the point? It was about to come off anyway. I knew why this guy was here.

When I looked up, a piece of hair fell into my face. I struggled to wrap my mind around the hazy blue eyes looking down at me through a thick shock of dark hair. The way his eyes stared into my soul made me want to throw up. He looked me up and down hungrily, like I was a piece of meat for his taking. I squared my shoulders and stood up straighter, raising my hand to push the hair out of my face.

Dane pushed his thumb hard into the back of my hip bone. “Watch it, little lady,” he muttered, the smell of rot reeking from his mouth. My eyes flittered down again, and I tucked my hands behind my back.

“How much?” the boy grunted, his eyes looking up from me to Dane. Momma had thrown the blanket off her lap and onto the floor, but she was still crouched on the low rising couch. She looked at Dane, the off lighting of the TV flickering off her skin, etching deep lines into her face.

Dane looked at her, then Momma nodded. “She’s nice. Higher priced. Plus, you’re new. How do we know we can trust you?” She asked. Before giving him a chance to answer, she added. “Eighty for a half hour.”

The boy opened his mouth to protest, but Dane readjusted his body so the light from the TV gleamed on the body of the rifle in his hand. “Take it or leave it, but if you’re not buying, you’re not staying.”

His face scrunched up, and he swallowed awkwardly. The small imperfection made him strangely attractive. He dug around the back pocket of his jeans, which hung hugely on his small frame, until he pulled out a worn leather wallet. He pulled two fifties out. “This is all I’ve got.”

“Okay, forty minutes. Go on, Kitty, show him where to go.” Momma said, snatching the money out of his hands faster than a fish in water. Dane let his hand fall to his side from his position behind me, and I felt myself start to fall backwards. The boy threw his arm out until it was wrapped around me, and oddly enough, he held me up.

McKayla had sat up in the couch again, and she had picked Momma’s blanket up off the floor. It was wrapped around her and she was trembling slightly. McKayla was the youngest of us. Dane personally liked her. I made it a goal to never leave her alone with him, because Momma would let him have any one of her girls or any one of her drug boys, just to keep him happy. But as I peeled myself from this strangers grip and waltzed myself through the door leading out of the common room, to the hallway, I couldn’t help but see Dane throw himself over the back of the couch onto her.

The boy closed the door behind me, just as I was about to have second thoughts and dash back into the room to McKayla. I jumped up, still not completely in control of my thoughts or my body. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting my money’s worth. You’re pricey, you know that?” He snaps, coming up right to me and putting his face in mine. He towers over me, being so much taller than I am, but he’s thin, like his body has been wasted away by drugs. He looks like Dane, just less crazy. And much less disgusting.

I turned around, trying to catch my breath. Hey, this is my job. McKayla needs to learn to hold her own ground. She’ll have to get used to it. Everyone had their turn in the spotlight with Dane. Maybe it doesn’t seem like it, but this gets easier. I put on my most seductive smile, and turn back around to the boy. “Okay, Mr. No Name, we can go. Under one condition.”

I step forward, and press my body into his, my arms guiding themselves as they wrap around his shoulders. He grins, breathing down on me. “Okay, this is more like it. What’s that, baby? I’m pretty sure I’d do anything for you.”

I lift myself up on my toes, adding a couple inches to my height. “Tell me, what’s your name, mysterious man?” My face is less than an inch away from him. I can see specks of color in his blue eyes, even in this dark hallway. I can smell the musk in his hair. I can taste the sweat on his skin.

“James.” He whispers, his hands finding their way onto my body. His hands, so thick, clasp themselves on my waist. “What about you, pretty lady? Is Kitty actually your name?”

This, this was pushing it. I don’t give real information out to these men. That’s how I get hurt. That’s what Momma taught us, at least, and Momma’s been at this a lot longer than any of us. She knew all the rules in the book. But I decided I’d latch onto this opportunity. “Born and raised with it.” I whisper, knowing my breath would taste sweet as sugar in his mouth. That little lock of hair fell into my face again, and as I pried my lips open to suck in air, it stuck to my lips.

James misread the signs in the best possible of ways. His lips opened just mere seconds after mine, and soon he was kissing me. His hands, previously on my waist, slid down my back onto my butt, and he picked me up that way. I wrap my legs around his stomach, and opened his mouth with mine. When I tasted the inside of his mouth, it tasted raw, like blood, where I had expected it to taste more like liquor and smoke.

He took a step forward, my legs still wrapped around me, and pushed me against the wall. The thin walls shook, and I’m pretty sure one of the pictures fell off the wall, but I didn’t care. Maybe it wasn’t my idea to kiss James, but damn, did I enjoy it.

With my body propped against the wall, and the frame of the house taking most of my weight, he moved one hand from under my butt to my upper back, where he pawed hungrily at my shirt. I pulled away, his nails peeling shreds of skin off my back where my tank-top didn’t cover my shoulders. “Put me down,” I breathed, pulling my face away from him.

I don’t know why he listened to me, because normally, they didn’t care what I had to say. Normally, I was just a toy, and until they got what they wanted, what I wanted didn’t matter. My feet hit the ground hard, harder than they should’ve, considering I weighed a whooping ninety-five pounds.

I take a step away from him, and away from the wall, so I didn’t feel quite so boxed in “Not here,” I say, looking down the hallway. He cleared his throat, but I didn’t give him the time of day before taking a step toward the next door to my sleeping quarters. I would call it my room, but nothing in there belonged to me. Momma kept all our clothes with her, and she left them set on the foot of the bed every morning. We had no say in anything here, not even what clothes we could wear.

I pushed the door open softly, and stepped into the dark room. My hand reached up to the light switch, and I flip it on. James is behind me in a second, not even a step behind me. He closed the door behind him, again, and looked at me. I turn around lightly, my arms hanging at my sides, my hair sweeping across my face. I know I look close to perfect. James’ eyes flicker from me, to the perfectly made bed, and back to me again.

He’s next to me in one great stride. I let a small noise escape my mouth. His hand is pressed against the small of my back, pushing me against him. His mouth is on my mouth, then the side of my face, then my neck, and my ear. I moan softly, knowing I’m just egging him on. At this, he pushes me away from him, throwing me onto the bed. I crawl up to the pillows and lay down, looking up at him as he crawls over on top of me.

There’s some kind of animal hunger burning in his eyes. He looks at me like he has no control. But as he presses his bulging jeans into me, I feel a passion ebbing from him that I’ve never felt before. I’ve never had someone want this from me, but in such a seemingly innocent way. I feel, as his hands go up my shirt, that my skin is on fire, and for once, I feel nervous about what I’m doing. I feel immoral for doing this with someone I’ve barely met. But all of that emotion flees me as he digs himself into me and my breath is stopped with a loud gasp.