The midnight child has left his home,
for they have pushed him out alone,
the nightly wind would pass him by,
like falling stars across the sky
the moon would shine and stars would blink,
and all he ever did was think,
of what he did to lose his home,
to be forever cursed to roam
his previous love would haunt his mind,
and as he walked it would remind,
that he had left a love so true,
deep beneath the midnight's blue
all that he had loved was gone,
in spite of that he still went on,
for he still hopes to find a home,
a place where he won't feel alone.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I really liked it...It reminded me of night time walking through the streets, It was calming, I really enjoyed it and I thought the flow stood out as the biggest highlight of my read. I loved it mate, definately want to see more of your stuff. Keep it up!
GummyBearEater...so many questions. How often do you eat gummy bears? What is your favorite flavor? And why is this the first thing you let us know about yourself? But I suppose I should be discussing your poem, not your awesome login name. XD
When it comes to the poem, I like it quite a lot. My one problem is that you constantly shift tenses from "did" to "would," sometimes past and sometimes either past or future perfect. It just seemed like the time-frame shifted around a lot. Other than this, though, I really like the concept and it was portrayed really well.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver