It's about brunch
the same way everything is about brunch.
It's about orange juice, pulp or no pulp debates
over the kitchen counter.
It's about my hand in your hand
at the dinner table, your parents watching,
happiness and hummus.
It's about pan frying
and it's about slow cooking
and it's about everything else in between.
It's about your mother's favorite food
at your best friend's sleepover,
the kind that gets stuck in your teeth
and shows when you smile.
It's about love, nourishment,
and cupcakes even though you haven't
liked them since you were eight. Eating well.
Pretending not to care about eating well.
Holding your breath, crossing your legs,
keeping calm through it all.
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Canary word: Present
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hello there! i am completely new to this site and your work is one of the very first i’ve read and i absolutely loved it, so i just have to sing its praises.
anything about being your mother’s daughter and inevitably growing up to be like her piques my interest. i love that you executed it so well here. like, the line about your mother’s favorite food at your best friend’s sleepover? will be thought about all week. it’s such a satisfying use of imagery to convey the “mother’s daughter” point without outright saying it, y’know? show, not tell, and all that.
the last line about holding your breath, crossing your legs, and keeping calm was like a punch to the gut. a daughter is almost never saved from her mother’s fate. the poem has a nice homey feeling to it, but not without its underlying tension, and it just works so well.
“eating well. pretending not to care about eating well.” sounds just like my own mother. it’s striking a chord with me haha.
i don’t have anything negative to say about this, you’re very talented! if this wasn’t the type of review you were looking for, i’m sorry! i am Very new to this.
i mean, for all i know, i could have interpreted this incredibly wrong and sound completely ridiculous to you, but i’m just gonna cross my fingers and hope that’s not the case.
keep writing!!
hello there! ignore the dust, i haven't done this in a while
i know that this is already out of the green room, but i have some thoughts. ever since i read this poem, i've been thinking about it nonstop. so yeah.
i really like the simplicity of the imagery, especially how homely it all feels. you wouldn't think dinner with your family is poetic, but it is. everything is poetic. the nonchalant language used here really ties all of that in. i wouldn't ever think to use some of these images, but you know, they all make sense. they would cross my mind during a "normal" thought process, just never poetically. it's honestly almost nostalgic in a way; the narrator seems bittersweet.
i also especially like the themes of womanhood/femininity/other related ideas that are present here. like the title? i wouldn't assume upfront that the poem is about such, but considering how everything blends together, it makes sense. i am such a huge fan of that in poetry because it makes you feel things, yknow? there's so much to explore when it comes to family, especially when it's generational as mentioned in the poem/the title.
like THIS is some good stuff right here. it's exactly what i mean. i love how the narrator talks about womanhood and becoming more like their mother, but also the fact it makes them uncomfortable? maybe i'm reading into it incorrectly, but i'm sensing some negative emotions. or at least, not solely positive.
i love this ending, but i wish it called back to previous lines.
like it's a solid ending for sure, but there definitely could be more. it doesn't feel out of place, but it doesn't feel right. i get that it's again relating to womanhood (probably something related to catcalling), but it's a different viewpoint. it's not as wholesome and carefree as the previous imagery. i love it, but i wish there was something else with it. it has so much potential.
but yes, this was good. i can see the barbie movie influences as well. i think it might need some polishing, but it is lovely.
best,
weathervane
There is a simplicity in what you wrote. While reading this it made me smile. The part that you said 'It's about your mother's favorite food, at your best friend's sleepover, the kind that gets stuck in your teeth and shows when you smile." Gave me a warmth. it made me think of home and my mother hanging out with my friends and family. At the end when you said "Pretending not to care about eating well. Holding your breath, crossing your legs, keeping calm through it all." Really summed up adult life. This poem is one will keep in the back of my mind. Great job!