February 27, 2014.....
I suppose this is the day that I have finally realized what my future holds..and how close I am to changing from this innocent high schoolgirl, to the baby faced adult thrust into the world. I am scared to look forward at it. I don’t want to see it, and I don’t want to realize that I have made a bad decision, just weeks before I have to go and leave behind the life I know.
I don’t want to the one who cries at everything- from the tiniest drop of a pencil to a bird flying in my path. I want to able to say that I faced these times with strength- that doesn't mean there will be no tears, for even the strongest cry- instead of hiding behind others for assistance. I hate being dependent on those, I know will end up dropping me once they are finished with me. I just want to scream with frustration because of it.
But I know that I have a single group of friends that will remain my friends. long after my memory fades from the memories of those who make up Ridge View High School, and long after we part ways. I mean, my friends and I are one of those groups of people who would make you want to lock us all into a mental institute. I mean the fact that we find entertainment at the most of our usual conversations that come with daily lunches and random morning talks.
I can’t find the words to describe how much I would miss them without them here with me. How will I muster the strength to face the future while I am in collage, and if I face such an emotional day that I can’t even face my reflection- who will be here for me when I need their support the most. I don’t want to a burden upon others, but I can’t even tell myself that I am NOT a burden upon others. I feel like a burden to them, even if they don’t say anything to me ‘bout it. I guess I have that fear of just being with someone, or being friends with someone, and just turning out to be a burden in their life rather than a help.
Well today (02-28-2014), I guess I have been diagnosed with cofsodarcasm, or the extreme addiction of the following- Coffee, Soda, and Sarcasm. Yes, I am terminally ill with Cofsodarcasm. Then me and past Saundy made Cutemaggedon. THen we relived the telling of the Quack offs. WHich long story short, Future Kay-Tee....don’t ask..
What is the point of me writing this, Future Kay-Tee, I can see you asking yourself looking back at this, and the point is....well I don’t know yet. I mean, it wouldn’t take much to find out in the future, but I am just writing this to write it. I am tired of hiding all of my emotions inside.
I have learned to hide behind a fake wall.
I have learned to hide behind a fake smile.
I have learned to hide behind fake words.
All so I won’t get hurt.
Future Kay-Tee, I hope that our family has learned to not take us for granted. I hope that when I, as past Kay-Tee, reach college and can live a life away from everyone. I love them, but I can only take so much. I don’t want to have to end up doing the same thing once I am moved and I hope that once we find “Mr. Right”, that he treats us right, and won’t treat me like how my family does right now.
I guess this all I have to say for you Future Kay-tee as of right now. I hope that with these electronic journal entries and the journal entries in the journal will help you realize how much we have changed since I started writing this as a simple eighteen year old girl, who wants nothing more than to see what stories I can look back and read. I want us to remember these crazy laughable funny moments of this moment in our lives.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Hi there! Lucrezia here for a review.
Well, a review-esque... thing. It's kind of hard to review a journal entry. XD
What I will say is that, like the reviewers before me, I found this very, very poetic and honest and raw. And I loved that. I also found it really relatable, and I understand exactly what you're going through right now and what you're feeling. *hugs* I love this.
I really do love this, quite honestly. It's actually hard for me to articulate why, all I can say is that this spoke to me. The emotion in it... the kind of fragmented thought... I don't write any sort of journal, but if I did, I imagine it would bear a resemblance to this entry. And therefore, I was easily able to connect with this piece, and feel all the different emotions you were feeling as you wrote it. And I can't say that very often.
I actually feel really bad that I have to nitpick such a unique, glorious piece, but I will anyway because I'm too anal to let it go. XD
Love this part! Nitpick-wise, there should be three dots after "holds" rather than two, and "baby faced" should be connected with a hyphen/dash (so it looks like "baby-faced").
L in "long" should be capitalized. Also, "memory/memories" is a bit repetitive. I'd change it to:
'...Long after my memory fades from the minds of those who make up Ridge View High School...'
H in "then" and H in "which" should both be lowercase.
"Moments/moment" is repetitive.
Otherwise, this was splendid. And I know you're probably wondering why I'd bother nitpicking a journal entry, but I actually think you should turn this into a prologue for a novel. If you tweaked it a bit and made it about a character in a story of yours, it could work perfectly. And, if I were to read a prologue like this in a novel, I would instantly be hooked!
Great work and keep writing!
You must hold a lot of stuff inside
Hmm,
I'm not sure why you wrote this, but I like it.
Maybe it was part of catharsis? I hope it helped.
You've organised your thoughts really well, and it is quite poetic with the italics section in the middle, however, the physical display of the work is a little bit disjointed, but that is an editing issue.
You're a good writer, I think you would do better with fiction though, because, your thoughts really matter to you, but without some sort of character to connect with, I find it really difficult to gel with your writing here.
Obviously, you are the character and that's great, but it could be improved if you slightly fictionalised the ideas you have here to make it more relatable for the reader. To help with suspension of disbelief and all that.
Hey XD
So this is an interesting work because it comes directly from you and for that reason it reads as very raw.
Which is great, because it's honest.
I love the way you bolded 'All so I won't get hurt' because it makes it look like the focal point of the piece and really gives me something to focus on when considering your meaning.
As for the content though, there are some points where it seems a little bit cliche. 'innocent high schoolgirl.' I don't want to be too harsh here if this is your personal opinion, but it seems a little bit unrealistic. Like you are comparing your life to a Hollywood movie. Maybe that's the way it seems. Or I am too cynical.
But the work was of good length, varied sentence structure and generally well thought out.
Good job, well done.