Too Far

Thanks guys! And yeah, I missed a word out there it seems... thanks AngelMarie, it should be;
But instead you took those things that I said

Or something like that, can't quite remember :S

Congratulations on foretelling me at the beginning that this poem isn't your best, because now I'm wondering what kind of stuff you write normally.

Anyways, Nice poem you've got here. Not too many critiques or concerns as far as grammar or spelling or rhythm. It all flows right as far as I can read it. My main concern is if it's staying on topic. The main problem with short stories and poems is that people go off topic way too easily. My way for writing things like this is if it's at least two or three pages long on a word processor or type writer, it's long enough to go onto more than one exact thing. If it's shorter than that, stay on top of it like a cat on a mouse. But, as far as this poem goes, it seems to me to be staying on topic, and that made me mildly surprised. A well-rounded poem that is short and sweet and doesn't need any further explanation to get across its point.

GreenEyes wrote:This isn't the best work I've done, it's kind of sloppy to be honest, but I'd like feedback on it anyway <------- If this isn't you're best, then that must be saying a lot cause this is great!

That’s it for me now,
I’ve given up on you.
You’ve hurt me too much,
And I can’t take any more.

My heart is worn through,
It’s broken and bruised,
With all those times,
That you broke my trust.

I whispered my secrets,
Close to your ear.

I wanted to unload the burden,
You would take some of the weight,
But instead you took those what I said, <---- i don't understand this line, maybe take the word thoses out
You poisoned my words,
And threw them to the wind,
Where anyone could catch them.

You plunged your knife into my back,
But you expect me to forgive you?
You’ve gone too far now,
We can’t go back to what once was,
Because it no longer is.