Published June 5, 2011
"Give up."
Just two little words that mean so much.
Grown ups used to tell us never to give up.
If we lost, coaches told they were happy that at least we never gave up.
You get it. Basically, we've never supposed to do this... thing. This action, of accepting defeat, of giving in, of settling with what we've been given, even if we aren't satisfied.
But I need to give you up.
Instead of just my love, you're like a drug. I keep coming back to you; I'm addicted. I refuse to leave your side.
And that would be fine. Unless you didn't love me too. Then, it would become pathetic, and show how weak I am.
That's why I'm giving you up. I'm letting go of everything I knew, my safety zone. I'm falling, but instead of landing on soft grass or blankets, I'm plummeting into an arcane pit of dissatisfaction. I don't know why I can't get it through my head that you don't love me too.
So instead of trying to understand, I'm just giving up.
And it feels so good.
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140,552 Literary Works • 673,422 Reviews
This is a really great poem! It has so much emotion that it nearly knocks you off your feet!
was the place in your poem that made the most sense on how to read it. I really loved that line, both for the meaning, but also the rhythm! That was like the highlight of the poem!Unlike Payne, I think the
Also sometimes in the longer phases I have some trouble finding the rhythm due to the length of it!
- Other than that it was a really great poem, you really know how to portray a feeling!
i can relate to your topic graet job:)
I really enjoyed this. It was a bold format, and you pulled it off nicely. You might want ot go back and change some things ot make it flow better, but other than that I liked it a lot. Keep writing!
There is a lot of intense emotion packed into this poem and I couldn't help but be drawn in by it. I like how you've used an irregular structure, it's quite adventurous and you've done a fairly good job of it ,however, it doesn't seem to read as well as it could in places and I think that perhaps it is a little too irregular. It possibly needs a little refining and tidying up in places but otherwise I thought that it was a good piece of work.
Nice. An easy read and well written with a lot of feeling behind it. I don't have any complaints.
Great job~ Dragongirl
Definitely heartfelt. It flowed wonderfully, and was a pleasure to read, even if the subject matter was sad. Also, the reader can sometimes identify with this feeling, which you conveyed quite well.
The only thing that threw me was this line:
It just reads a little awkwardly. You might want to rephrase it. Other than that, well done!