Published April 12, 2011
The bell has rung, and our sneakers squeak.
We're dancing in gym, so we all appear meek.
None of us know, yet, who we will choose
It might be a little hard, learning these moves.
The girls pick their numbers, then we stand by the wall.
Waiting for the boys, who all seem to stall.
It's hard, the waiting, I soon realize.
Especially since the boy I want is looking in my eyes.
Desperately wishing for his number, I wait
Guessing only God, now, chooses my fate.
In a couple of minutes, we've chosen each other!
I'm so excited, that there wasn't another.
The next half an hour is a blur,
I don't focus on him, or focus on her.
All I see is the one dancing with me,
Holding my hand, so nice and tenderly.
I feel his love, though his face doesn't show it.
Guess I love him too, but does he know it?
I can't think about anything else but right now,
How lucky I was, on this day...
Somehow.
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141,732 Literary Works • 675,635 Reviews
This is a pretty good poem, and it rolls off my tongue smoothly, but I must say some things just didn't make any sense. It left me a little confused. When I'm writing a poem, and it doesn't rhyme, I change it up. Make sure you don't just use a random word and hope that people don't pay attention. Other than that, your really good! I liked it! Good job
This was good, there was one minor grammar mistake, and some things that didn't make sense to me. But make no mistake, I liked it just the same.