Young Writers Society

This is a pretty good poem, and it rolls off my tongue smoothly, but I must say some things just didn't make any sense. It left me a little confused. When I'm writing a poem, and it doesn't rhyme, I change it up. Make sure you don't just use a random word and hope that people don't pay attention. Other than that, your really good! I liked it! Good job

GracieBee62 wrote:
The bell has rung, and our sneakers squeak.
We're dancing in gym, #FF0000 ">so we all appear meek.#0000FF "> Why do you appear meek while dancing? I realise #0000FF ">that this is just part of the rhyme, but it doesn't make sense to me. Also, if it's a dance why are they wearing sneakers?
None of us know, yet, who we will choose
It might be a little hard, learning these moves.

The girls pick their numbers, then we stand by the wall.
Waiting for the boys, who all seem to stall.

It's hard, the waiting, I soon realize.
Especially since the boy I want is looking in#FF0000 ">to my eyes.

Desperately wishing for his number, I wait
Guessing only God, now, chooses my fate.

In a couple of minutes, we've chosen each other!
I'm so excited,#FF0000 "> in kisses I could smother. #0000FF ">What does this mean?

The next half an hour is a blur,
I don't focus on him, or focus on her.

All I see is the one dancing with me,
Holding my hand, so nice and tenderly.

I feel his love, though his face doesn't show it.
Guess I love him too, but does he know it?

I can't think about anything else but right now,
How lucky I was, on this day...

Somehow.