Walk me through the city
Show me what I’m missing.
Take me to the high streets
Where the rats crawl under your feet.
The ghost of this town speak there whispers
While the very air gives them blisters.
Tuck your fingers around your body
Pray you’re not somebody
From here.
See your blurred reflection in the skyscrapers
Look at the sand stone churches from the ages.
Smell the sick perfumes
What have you got to lose?
Sit on the city steps
With a cigarette in one hand and your fear in the next.
And just pray you’re not somebody
From here.
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140,623 Literary Works • 673,564 Reviews
Hi! bugbug368 came to review!
This is very interested. It's confusing, but very interesting. I didn't like it that much. It was too short for me, maybe you could explain how the people act and look, so there will be more in the poem. Good start, so well done for your efforts.
Hi Gracie
Nice poem. Overall, I love the idea behind it. I sort of agree with Kafka though. Something wasn't right with the rhyme scheme. I didn't really notice one. It was just sort of everywhere. But other than this, I have to say I like it. Great job.
Okay, so first of all, what's going on with your rhyming? When the reader isn't able to find a constant rhyme scheme in this short of a poem, something's amiss. Here's one little nitpick I had, besides that:
"There" should be "their."
-Kafka
Very nicely written, no over use of rhymes!! Like it
Excellent posting! I really liked the visual that you gave me, as well as your chosen words. I really enjoyed reading this! Keep 'em coming! :)