Young Writers Society

I feel like taking this piece, which was the first thing on the list, in chronological order, and placing it in first place in anti-chronilogical order. (Thus making it the first thing people see when they click on "Other")

To review what you did december 2004 is in itself a silly task, but I shall do it anywho... Vive la révolution!

I thought this was an interesting piece, if it wasn't I wouldn't have bothered. Cool beans. Very hurried. The piece in itself expressed almost without words the hurriedness.

Very cool.

When I was reading it, I actually read it faster than usual, because I felt, well, rushed!

I love how you gave the sense of being rushed. Excellent job.

thanx nate
and carsnadguitars77
i appreciate the kindness of you to, i feel so honored to have the two highest YWS pointers like my stuff!!!!!!! my sister to, OMGOSH!!!!
heheheheeee
lol
nate_i'll change it,you'll see

Well, considering that you, Gracey13, are my younger sister:
IT WAS HORRIBLE.
lol, just kidding. anyways, I agree with Nate...dido to what he said.

I liked it... your style really makes the point of the girl being rushed. The internal questioning also really serves to impress on the reader a feeling of helplessness within the girl. I'd get rid of the "Or is help of the female nature" line though, and just make the one right before it "Is help a him" and then "Is help a her?" You also need to change "emough" to "enough" in the opening lines.

Overall, good poem.