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by Gracey13

She rushed



Couldn't get there fast emough

She must complete her task

I rushed



I can't get there fast enough

I can't complete my task

I need help



I must get Help

I must tell Help to run

I must tell Help to rush

I must tell Help to complete my task

Do my own duty

In Helps manner

Help rushed

Help is rushing

Help will rush

Help will complete my Task.


But who is Help?

Who is the help.....

Where is the help.....

How do I locate Him?

Or is Help of the female nature?

Is help a them?

Is it one?

Where is help?

Who is he?

Where is she?

Who is She?


I must find Help.

Help must help.

Or will it be.....


Is this a review?



User avatar
98 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 98

Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:17 am
FLyerS wrote a review...

I feel like taking this piece, which was the first thing on the list, in chronological order, and placing it in first place in anti-chronilogical order. (Thus making it the first thing people see when they click on "Other")

To review what you did december 2004 is in itself a silly task, but I shall do it anywho... Vive la révolution!

I thought this was an interesting piece, if it wasn't I wouldn't have bothered. Cool beans. Very hurried. The piece in itself expressed almost without words the hurriedness.

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594 Reviews

Points: 6831
Reviews: 594

Tue Dec 14, 2004 1:40 am
Crysi wrote a review...

Very cool.

When I was reading it, I actually read it faster than usual, because I felt, well, rushed! :D

I love how you gave the sense of being rushed. Excellent job.

User avatar

Points: 890
Reviews: 4

Sun Dec 05, 2004 4:35 am
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Gracey13 says...

thanx nate
and carsnadguitars77
i appreciate the kindness of you to, i feel so honored to have the two highest YWS pointers like my stuff!!!!!!! my sister to, OMGOSH!!!!
nate_i'll change it,you'll see

User avatar
665 Reviews

Points: 6165
Reviews: 665

Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:26 pm
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Chevy says...

Well, considering that you, Gracey13, are my younger sister:
lol, just kidding. anyways, I agree with Nate...dido to what he said.

User avatar
425 Reviews

Points: 11417
Reviews: 425

Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:15 am
Nate wrote a review...

I liked it... your style really makes the point of the girl being rushed. The internal questioning also really serves to impress on the reader a feeling of helplessness within the girl. I'd get rid of the "Or is help of the female nature" line though, and just make the one right before it "Is help a him" and then "Is help a her?" You also need to change "emough" to "enough" in the opening lines.

Overall, good poem.

— Magestorrrow