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Task

by Gracey13


She rushed

rushed

rushed

Couldn't get there fast emough

She must complete her task

I rushed

rushed

rushed

I can't get there fast enough

I can't complete my task

I need help

help

help

I must get Help

I must tell Help to run

I must tell Help to rush

I must tell Help to complete my task

Do my own duty

In Helps manner

Help rushed

Help is rushing

Help will rush

Help will complete my Task.

---

But who is Help?

Who is the help.....

Where is the help.....

How do I locate Him?

Or is Help of the female nature?

Is help a them?

Is it one?

Where is help?

Who is he?

Where is she?

Who is She?

---

I must find Help.

Help must help.

Or will it be.....

Discover


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User avatar
98 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 98

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Fri Jun 17, 2011 1:17 am
FLyerS wrote a review...



I feel like taking this piece, which was the first thing on the list, in chronological order, and placing it in first place in anti-chronilogical order. (Thus making it the first thing people see when they click on "Other")

To review what you did december 2004 is in itself a silly task, but I shall do it anywho... Vive la révolution!

I thought this was an interesting piece, if it wasn't I wouldn't have bothered. Cool beans. Very hurried. The piece in itself expressed almost without words the hurriedness.




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594 Reviews

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Reviews: 594

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Tue Dec 14, 2004 1:40 am
Crysi wrote a review...



Very cool.

When I was reading it, I actually read it faster than usual, because I felt, well, rushed! :D

I love how you gave the sense of being rushed. Excellent job.




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Points: 890
Reviews: 4

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Sun Dec 05, 2004 4:35 am
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Gracey13 says...



thanx nate
and carsnadguitars77
i appreciate the kindness of you to, i feel so honored to have the two highest YWS pointers like my stuff!!!!!!! my sister to, OMGOSH!!!!
heheheheeee
lol
nate_i'll change it,you'll see




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665 Reviews

Points: 6165
Reviews: 665

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Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:26 pm
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Chevy says...



Well, considering that you, Gracey13, are my younger sister:
IT WAS HORRIBLE.
lol, just kidding. anyways, I agree with Nate...dido to what he said.




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425 Reviews

Points: 11417
Reviews: 425

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Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:15 am
Nate wrote a review...



I liked it... your style really makes the point of the girl being rushed. The internal questioning also really serves to impress on the reader a feeling of helplessness within the girl. I'd get rid of the "Or is help of the female nature" line though, and just make the one right before it "Is help a him" and then "Is help a her?" You also need to change "emough" to "enough" in the opening lines.

Overall, good poem.





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