Dear Journal,
I haven't written in here for a while now. I guess I decided to start again because now Rose is gone for Hogwarts. We saw her off at King's Cross today and Lily looked like she wanted to cry when the Hogwarts train left. I didn't of course. But i still felt sad. Dad says boys don't cry. I hid this Journal from Rose a while back so she wouldn't take it with her to Hogwarts and read it and then I forgot about it. Rose is kinda nosy. And I kind of feel sad that I forgot about it. Because it was covered in dust. It was under my bed this whole time! I'm really happy because Lily's coming over later. Make that in a few minutes. Aunt Ginny just called to tell us that they will be here soon. Dad's wand is sitting on his night stand. I'll use the spell book I found in the attic a few days ago. I know i'm not suppose to learn Magic yet but i couldn't help it.Dad left me home alone one day because he needed to run an errand. so i went up to the attic because Dad says were not supposed to go up there. and right out in the open was a spell book. When Mum was 19 She cut her hair really short. Grandma told rose and I a lot of stories before rose left. Now Lily and i get to hear them.
I'm going to try it. But Lilys' here now. I'll try to write before bed.
H.Weasley
9/9/2017
Dear Journal,
Earlier Lily and I had a fight. I said that her Dad got her everything she wanted. But I don't want to talk about it. I might not write much tonight. Dads already turning out the lights.
So i guess this good bye for tonight.
H.Weasley
9/9/2017
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm, this is a nice little piece here. Considering the age of the character that is meant to be writing this journal and the fact that this is in fact meant to be a journal her, I think you've managed to capture the essence of that fairly well. This does feel a little bit like just a bit of a list of events without too much actual flow, but of course I believe that is sort of how you'd expect some that age to write a journal, so I guess this is actually fairly nicely done here. All I'd say is perhaps think of including a little more personal feelings, but as far the style of things go so far, this is pretty good.
OKay, well that ended about as well you'd expect one of these journal entries to come to an end. So yeah, this isn't the most engaging piece, it feels like it would get a tad repetitive, cause this is just a kid that's having a fairly normal time at home, and while the fight there is interesting, its also not particularly special, so uhh, I don't know how viable this would be as a story idea buut, well, you've done a decent job here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thanks.
Hey this isn't that bad!!
if you write more i will keep reading them!!
Thanks