Published October 16, 2007
The paths Life take,
Destiny, the choices that we make.
Skyscrapers, highways and streets,
Roads off the beaten track.
Forests, brambles and thorns,
Abandoned cities, ruins long gone.
Sights for all to see,
Paths we take,
Choices we make,
At first they seem to be free.
We stand now in the driveway,
Back after all those days.
Looking back at all we’ve done,
Leaving a legacy to a son,
We lift our heads toward the inside,
“I’ve finally come home, Lord” we said, and died.
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
This poem is filled with profundity
I like it a lot.
My only problem with it is that it lacks a definite flow. The whole thing doesn't connect very well. I don't know how to fix it, but if it had good flow, this poem would be nothing short of fantastic!!!
Well, merry writing!
Ooooo I really like your poem. It's deep!
But if you don't mind my criticism, it seemed like you were trying to rhyme the words sometimes but then you didn't rhyme again for another 3 or 4 lines.
Just something to think about (unless that's what you were trying to do- then ignore my post lol)
=D