This was written about a girl in my class that always has to one-up me, and she knows it.
As I stand on a platform,
I still look up at you.
As I try to speak,
your lips are quicker.
As I try to run,
your feet are faster.
I polish off my silver,
and you gloat about your gold.
When I feel so meek
you are so bold.
When I feel so small,
you are so proud.
Are you that evil,
or am I just a coward?
I can see through your lies,
I see the green eyed monster in your eyes.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,852 Reviews
Hi there!
I think you should break this up into three lines. It would look better as
I can see through your lies,
I see the green-eyed monster
in your eyes.
You could switch it up with attempt instead of having try twice.
But then, that would kind of the pattern you have here...
Good job!