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To Sojourn the earth once more...

by Goldenwizard

The lights were off,

and the walls were completely sealed.

The whole room was so dark,

as the deepest depth of ocean has revealed.

He was sitting, 

loathly over the bed.

Laid in the mocking darkness,

rolling his eyes up ahead. 

Gazing across the dark,

searching for the slightest brightness.

Waiting for a smallest spark,

to seal his eyes in its only likeness. 

He kept himself as it is for hours, 

and the night shed itself around.

That made him sleep delightfully, 

forgetting about the time he was bound. 

When he woke up,

he was there where he wanted. 

Far from this world of sorrows,

in the hell which was much haunted. 

Paying for his amends, 

to the mighty God of dead. 

For all his wrongdoings,

of which he himself was abashed. 

After all the sins,

he would completely abjure.

Than only he would be born again, 

to Sojourn the earth once more. 

                                                      -Prakamya Shukla

                                                       प्राकाम्य शुक्ला 

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40 Reviews

Points: 82
Reviews: 40

Wed Oct 21, 2020 7:15 am
Buranko wrote a review...

Hello there Golden Wizard or Prakamya Shukla, however you want me to adress to you. This poem is sooo nice, I love it a lot so I will leave a cute little review for your work.

The poem opens up with a really dark and locked room. That room is full of symbols and I believe it is really important in the understanding of the character's mind and soul. It represents a dark soul, filled with remorse and sadness. The person sealed him/herself into the soul and opposed any human interaction, further enhancing that grief. The "mocking darkness" is a really cool metaphor I enjoyed. It reminds me of that voice inside one's head, that voice that mocks you, blame you, for your sins. The darkness is the support for it, working together with the loneliness.

The person is not presented as a completely destroyed human being. He/she still has hope, looks for someone to get him out of this darkness; no one comes. That results in him( I will assume it's a guy) falling into a deep slumber, one that is necessary in order for him to fully transform.

This new person, now awakened is insensible, driven by a strong revenge and hate. He already paid his bills, now God will allow him to do his thing and then come back.

Lovely poem, great insight in the mind of a criminal

Goldenwizard says...

It is really amazing to know what others think or how others inerpret our work. Thanks for giving a brif of the feelings and thoughts you go through or considered while reading it.
Thankyou/ Dhanyavad

User avatar
7 Reviews

Points: 461
Reviews: 7

Mon Oct 19, 2020 1:48 pm
piyaliarchives wrote a review...

Hi, I like this poetry! I do find this poem attractive and meaningful. The transition of him being in the human world to him being in hell is smooth. We can see how cold and distant the person finds the earth to be. He finds it empty and not good exactly. I don't think this person finds hell worse than the earth. Again, I liked this poem. Keep up the good work!

Goldenwizard says...

Thankyou for your views. I am glad to know that you like it.

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17 Reviews

Points: 45
Reviews: 17

Fri Oct 16, 2020 4:25 am
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ryleigha says...

Hi there! I love how absolutely spooky this is! The allusions to death and the theme of darkness all the way through really add to the entire vibe that you have going here. I think it is very Poe of you! However, the swerve away from that dark and creepy atmosphere is the idea of rebirth, and I really love that idea throughout the whole poem. It adds more depth to the spooky fall literature that we see on a daily basis! Really really good job here!

Goldenwizard says...

Thanks for expressing your views %uD83D%uDE38

One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down.
— Proverb from Romania and Russia