Published May 20, 2010
I sold my soul
for thirty dollars,
and every morning I looked
into the mirror to see,
if Redemption had come in the night.
I washed my hands,
and tried to clean
the red-stained regret,
and old dirt-stained dreams
that once had moved my heart.
I walked back down
the old dirt road,
and met a girl there.
She told me that my eyes
had seen too much to say.
I found the devil
'neath a stand of oaks.
He offered me eternity,
but I never wanted
to live forever.
I carried the weight
of a thousand years.
Two thousand years
since a man called Christ died,
nailed to that Tree.
I looked over
those stormy waters,
each tear a silent question-
an unheard prayer
for Salvation found in a blaze of light.
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141,432 Literary Works • 674,412 Reviews
Oh.. hey, Romeyo, I didnt notice that before... thanks!
Nice work.
Note though, The fourth line on the Third verse, where you wrote "She told my that my eyes"... It should have been "She told me that my eyes"...
I guess it was a simple typographical error.
Order than that, i think this piece is beautiful.
Well done.
thank you both,
anyone up for some hardcore poetry analysis?
~Travis
Typically I'm not a fan of religious pieces, but this was very well-written I'll admit. Each stanza was better than the one before, but there was no real weak point either. My only real piece of advice is try and find some way to not begin every line with "I".
Keep writing,
~the StoryWeaver
God, what can I say, this is a really strong poem, I love this stanza best:
Until this bit didn't realize this was a religious poem, or at least exsitensial. It's truly a powerful poem, which hits the right chords and does it's job. You don't even get cliche, though subject been done quite a lot in fact.
It's not often truely love a piece, but this here, I loved and found no issues with it, solid through out.