Published December 22, 2008
Two stand on a bridge,
away from the world.
Midnight has gone,
four hours, or more.
Their hands clasped tight,
in the face of the dawn.
Not know what will come,
but knowing what has past.
They'll stand together,
untill the very last,
star in the sky,
gone dim in the morning.
When the sun has risen,
once more in the sky,
their paths will part.
The last kiss goodbye.
He holds her in is arms,
one last time before the end
then slowly he turns
and walks silently away.
No tears in her eyes,
as she also turns away.
Silently they part,
there is no turning back.
He turns his head just once,
to watch her walk away.
Into her eyes, to his surprise,
she silently stares back.
They cannot be together,
but again their fingers touch.
They know that they are wrong,
but they'll never be apart.
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Canary word: Present
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Totally true...thank you for saying it better than me...
Hey God!
When you come to poetry, it would be best not to mention times or dates, or the amount of time passes. It just screws up the whole timeless air that poetry is supposed to have.
This is a very well written poem. I can sense the feeling between the two lovers. But, why on a bridge? You think when you click this poem, it is going to be about suicide or something of the sort. Try putting the lovers in a different location, like a bedroom window, or a secret hideaway in the forest or something like that.
One question have been floating around my head. Why? Why are these lovers separating? You have to give us a little insight to the past before we are going to be able to fully understand this poem.
So, all in all, good poem. Just need a few things tweaked.
*Princess*
The last 4 verses are total turning back for 180 degrees...it happened too fast.... this was a great moment (when they're back together) and you could write more about it....
All in all, this can be better...but good...