The Dragon Decsends (Improved)

by Gobnet8

Published April 3, 2007

The Dragon Descends

Cedric stepped out into the driveway, looking toward the western horizon. The sun was a brilliant red, shining blindingly bright. Above, there was a massive cloud, remainders from the rain showers earlier in the day. The sun painted it a misty purple and pink, reminding Cedric of a dragon. He smiled, thinking of Pippa's dragon, despite his festering worries.

The weight of the book was becoming more present to him by the moment, and he longed to open it. This desire had been strong since the dream.

There had been a room of clocks. Small clocks, grandfather clocks. What caught his attention the most and still lingered with him now in his waking hours was the sound of the chiming. Ticking and chiming. Alarms. Orpheus had been there, though Cedric couldn't remember ever seeing him. It left him with a terrible chill, and he woke up that morning shivering.

But did he really need to worry so much? It was just a dream, merely the memories of the last journey haunting him.

Nellie would have worried. A little dream like that would send her into a fit of worries, and she would come up with all these ideas of some terrible warning ..

The sun was sinking further down the horizon, casting flaming colors on the clouds. His thoughts lingered on the dream; the chiming of the clocks were still so loud in his mind. Cedric found himself watching the sunset for so long that the sky was a dim neon blue before he decided to indulge on his worry for a moment.

There couldn't be any harm in looking ...

He pulled the book out. The smooth glass cover was warm from his body heat. He knew that what he was doing was dangerous, and he really couldn't explain to himself why he was doing it. He knew better than this, too; re-opening this world so soon, especially without Nellie, was such a stupid thing to do. Even opening the book was risky because of the temptation that it held for him. He'd always been so vulnerable to the Whispering World.

He pressed the latch on the lock, which opened with a loud click. He paused. His pulse began to rush with fear and a mix of excitement. He tried to force himself to lock the book up again, willing himself to push past the flood of memories that were drowning his mind. The Jacks, the Streamers, Darby, Godric and Pippa. He missed them. Nellie missed them, too, he knew that. He could feel it.

A rush of panic filtered through the nostalgia. These were strong feelings, and he knew Nellie would be feeling them right now. She would know what was happening.

As his shaking hands pulled back the cover, Cedric realized that this was now beyond his control. The clocks were chiming louder in his mind; the presence of Orpheus was alarmingly strong at this moment, just as he had been in the dream.

But even through the fog of Orpheus' spell, Cedric knew what he had to do, the only thing he could do to ensure any kind of help from the Waking World. It was the one power he had that Orpheus could not stop or control.

He called to Nellie. He forced all of his emotions out to her, as big a wave as he could handle in this state without overwhelming his weakness.

The book lay open in his hands. A chilling breeze, unusual for a summer night, hit his face and sent a painful chill through his spine. Still, the chiming grew louder and soon that was all he could hear. The dream hadn't been a warning. It was the first stage of Orpheus' spell. Now he was able to break through the boundary between the worlds and contact Cedric, and probably even Nellie, too. This was a bad sign, because this meant he was much stronger than he had the last time Cedric and Nellie had encountered him.

The book was open to the end of the first chapter, to Cedric and Nellie's last adventure. The following page, which was blank, now called to him. The quill lay there between the pages. He knew what Orpheus wanted him to do. He was so strong. But could Cedric really be surprised, after everything he'd been through before?

Again, he called out to Nellie. But this time, it didn't take long for her response.

Cedric, fight!

His breath began to quicken. He was using all of his mental strength to fight this enchantment. He hated this feeling that Orpheus put him through, that feeling of helplessness. He used his hate to fight.

Don't you dare give up, Ced!

Cedric felt his knees grow weak. That sensation that the Whispering World always brought was coming to him in overwhelming waves. Along with the chiming, there were the whispers. They wove their words into a web of light all around him.

Now Orpheus had gained complete control over Cedric. His hand picked up the quill. Cedric watched helplessly as he wrote out the words.

CHAPTER 2: The Dragon Descends

Orpheus stood before the Quill and smiled with satisfaction. The boy was in his total control, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Cedric felt the book and quill drop from his hands, but it was like he was outside his body, only slightly aware of his senses. His mind was clouding over. Orpheus stood in front of him; his tall, thick figure silhouetted against the glowing blue sky above.

So many emotions burned his mind. Hatred for Orpheus, disappointment in his own stupidity, and fear for Nellie.

Orpheus collected the book and quill, holding them close.

"Now you know what it's like to be trapped and helpless."

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
kaitlyn
Review
kaitlyn wrote a review Review · Aug 3, 2020

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: Hmm...this is definitely a very interesting piece. I loved the idea behind it and it was paced very well. The tension built up, the emotion involved overall was done really well and if this was intended to be the start of a story as you mentioned down below this does a really good job of hooking readers to the plot of the story so that's really good.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Cedric stepped out into the driveway, looking toward the western horizon. The sun was a brilliant red, shining blindingly bright. Above, there was a massive cloud, remainders from the rain showers earlier in the day. The sun painted it a misty purple and pink, reminding Cedric of a dragon. He smiled, thinking of Pippa's dragon, despite his festering worries.


Pretty good opening para there. I can definitely see how this appears to connect to a previous book judging by all the backstory that appears to be there for Cedric.

There had been a room of clocks. Small clocks, grandfather clocks. What caught his attention the most and still lingered with him now in his waking hours was the sound of the chiming. Ticking and chiming. Alarms. Orpheus had been there, though Cedric couldn't remember ever seeing him. It left him with a terrible chill, and he woke up that morning shivering.


Very mysterious dream. I love that. Really gets the reader invested in the story to figure out what that is supposed to mean.

The sun was sinking further down the horizon, casting flaming colors on the clouds. His thoughts lingered on the dream; the chiming of the clocks were still so loud in his mind. Cedric found himself watching the sunset for so long that the sky was a dim neon blue before he decided to indulge on his worry for a moment.


Great description there.

There couldn't be any harm in looking ...


Famous last words by many a protagonist.

He pressed the latch on the lock, which opened with a loud click. He paused. His pulse began to rush with fear and a mix of excitement. He tried to force himself to lock the book up again, willing himself to push past the flood of memories that were drowning his mind. The Jacks, the Streamers, Darby, Godric and Pippa. He missed them. Nellie missed them, too, he knew that. He could feel it.


This first book sounds like something I really should track down and read. There appears to be a ton of strong emotion associated with it.

A rush of panic filtered through the nostalgia. These were strong feelings, and he knew Nellie would be feeling them right now. She would know what was happening.

But even through the fog of Orpheus' spell, Cedric knew what he had to do, the only thing he could do to ensure any kind of help from the Waking World. It was the one power he had that Orpheus could not stop or control.


Nice move to bring some hope into the situation before the plot inevitably takes over and kick starts this story.

The book lay open in his hands. A chilling breeze, unusual for a summer night, hit his face and sent a painful chill through his spine. Still, the chiming grew louder and soon that was all he could hear. The dream hadn't been a warning. It was the first stage of Orpheus' spell. Now he was able to break through the boundary between the worlds and contact Cedric, and probably even Nellie, too. This was a bad sign, because this meant he was much stronger than he had the last time Cedric and Nellie had encountered him.


Slowly building the tension and the tide starts to turn. Really well done there.

Cedric felt his knees grow weak. That sensation that the Whispering World always brought was coming to him in overwhelming waves. Along with the chiming, there were the whispers. They wove their words into a web of light all around him.

Now Orpheus had gained complete control over Cedric. His hand picked up the quill. Cedric watched helplessly as he wrote out the words.


And then the inevitable happens. This whole sequence is done really well....flows really smoothly and takes us right into the story.

So many emotions burned his mind. Hatred for Orpheus, disappointment in his own stupidity, and fear for Nellie.

Orpheus collected the book and quill, holding them close.

"Now you know what it's like to be trapped and helpless."


And a great place to end things. Definitely something that I would want to continue reading.

Aaand that's it for that one.

Overall: The pacing was amazing in this one. It builds to that ending really well. Very nicely done. The emotions are conveyed really well and overall it's a great piece of work. If I ever get the chance I am going to hunt down both of these books and read them.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

User avatar
Gobnet8
Comment
Gobnet8 commented Comment · Apr 4, 2007

To clear up the confusion I set about .. This is actually the beginning of the second part of my story. Second book, if you will. Sorry if everyone is confused about this bit I put up. I put it up, to see if it was grabbing or compelling in any way. I will be posting a bit from the first book soon! By the way, thanks for your reply miyaviloves !! : )

User avatar
miyaviloves
Review
miyaviloves wrote a review Review · Apr 4, 2007

Ok i really like this :D However, is this a second aprt of like have i missed some of it?? Im a bit confused with all the characters, like Orpheus ? who is that? or what? or is there something im really not getting here? lol.

As for your writing you are very taleented, and this could turn into osmething very original and good, so keep at it!

Good luck!

Miyaviloves
x

User avatar
Gobnet8
Comment
Gobnet8 commented Comment · Apr 4, 2007

this is my most important bit of writing! I know it isn't the best, but it's my baby. I need honesty. So for everyone who reads this, please tell me what you think. Your opinions really matter to me! : )



I love how we all band together to break things...
— Kelpies