Your beautiful
N?A
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,008 Literary Works • 672,823 Reviews
Okay, I couldn't even read the poem because of the chatspeak and the fact that "your" was misused.
In the phrase, "You're beautiful", the your is NOT possessive, it is the contraction, "you are". If the poem was about "Your beautiful [fill in whatever here, like eyes, smile, penmanship, fingernail]", then it would work, but it isn't, so... EDIT! Please! Then I will read it and give a better critique.
And I would advise to go through your poem and check every place that you have a "your". If it can be successfully replaced as "you are", but you have a "your", then you need to fix it. (For instance, if you had "you know your hair is beautiful", then it would be possessive, and therefore correct. But if you had, "your beautiful, and you know it", then as the "your" can be replaced with a "you are", and so that should be changed. Make sense?)
I hope I didn't do too shoddy a job of explaining that.
Good luck with the editing!
Peace, love, chocolate.
Muffin
Not bad. I don't think this is a poem in a way.
You have multiple spelling mistakes.
'ur' is you're. Remember that. I could read what stood there but that is(how can I say) unprofessional.
It is good, just check your spelling.
Wow I thought this was like from a boyfriend to a girlfriend so it was great to see that it was about someone's mother. I loved this idea, as it was a change from the usual "beautiful" poem
I agree with Claudy when she says to use proper words and not text speak, but other than that I can't think of anything else.
This is sweet, really is, but doesn't make much of a poem.
)
First off, use real words and not thinks like 'ur' or 'U'. Capitalize the pronoun I, and spell check.
Though it was sweet, there was really nothing beyond that. This is more like a poem you write for your mom and give to her, but it isn't something you'd put in a book of poems to sell. Why? Because its a selfish poem, and the reader feels nothing. If you were to talk about mothers in general, and how sweet they are, and how every child wants to be like them, and did it in a noncliche way that also made the reader feel and think about there mother, it would work out better. (Of course, I hate my mother, so I wouldn't be best for that, would I?
You repeated a lot in this too. "I think your beautiful", "I think you're great," it just didn't work as a poem. But I gave you my suggestions on how to fix it. Oh, and you should read poetry, as well. That will help you out a lot.