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E - Everyone Violence

When The Body Has Turned Against you

by GirlWithATypewriter

Strong content. Please do not read if it'll trigger you.

The voices in my head have grown stronger,

They taunt me, waiting for me to flip out;

And if I deny them the satisfaction any longer,

Then the head-splitting migraines begin their show.

My hand grabs the knife and slides it through my wrist with no struggle,

The eyes follow it's movements with sickening pleasure.

My soul perks up with obnoxious cognizance,

The heart beats faster, overcome with fear.

Soon after the endorphins are released, 

I sit back in defeat.

You know there's no getting better,

When the body has turned against you.

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28 Reviews

Points: 254
Reviews: 28

Mon Jan 20, 2020 3:43 am

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107 Reviews

Points: 4937
Reviews: 107

Sun Jan 19, 2020 6:26 pm
Hkumar wrote a review...

It was indeed a very intense writing you got there and I could feel the depth of emotions that was expressed here
. You chose to write on a very sensitive feeling that we experience in our lives.
We all have at some point of our lives been trapped in a situation which leaves us devastated and compels us to take extreme steps. It is not easy to fight these inner demons.
You had good choice of words that depicted the pain and emotions very well. Words like "sickening pleasure" "head- splitting migraines" really empathised on the insanity and mental breakdown of the person suffering from some unbearable problems.
It really had a profound effect on me and I thoroughly enjoyed your writing . Keep up the good spirit and continue to amaze us !!!

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111 Reviews

Points: 9075
Reviews: 111

Fri Jan 17, 2020 7:51 pm
tgham99 wrote a review...

Very powerful, intense poem. With just a few lines, you managed to convey all of the pain and intensity behind such a dramatic moment. I think you do a really good job of evoking emotion, specifically with lines like "head-splitting migraines" and "the heart beats faster".

I thought it was interesting that you decided to italicize the whole poem -- it almost makes it seem like this was intended to be a sort of letter, or maybe just a really poignant narration from the speaker's point of view, like we're getting a close glimpse into what they're thinking right in that moment.

Very poignant and dramatic poem. My only suggestion would be to maybe add a content warning (not sure if that's what it's called) since it potentially mentions a sensitive topic; aside from that, I personally enjoyed the poem very much.

Keep writing!

Thank you so much! I was really nervous because I was writing after such a long time and I'm glad you liked it. And yes, I've already tagged it but I'll give a content warning too.

Overripe sushi, The master Is full of regret.
— Buson