Strong content. Trigger warning.
*I read 'All the bright places' recently and I've tried really hard trying to decipher what was going on in Finch's head. Still on the path trying to figure him out.*
The voices in my head have grown stronger,
They taunt me, waiting for me to flip out;
And if I deny them the satisfaction any longer,
Then the head-splitting migraines begin their show.
My hand grabs the knife and slides it through my wrist with no struggle,
The eyes follow it's movements with sickening pleasure.
My soul perks up with obnoxious cognizance,
The heart beats faster, overcome with fear.
Soon after the endorphins are released,
I sit back in defeat.
You know there's no getting better,
When the body has turned against you.
It was indeed a very intense writing you got there and I could feel the depth of emotions that was expressed here
. You chose to write on a very sensitive feeling that we experience in our lives.
We all have at some point of our lives been trapped in a situation which leaves us devastated and compels us to take extreme steps. It is not easy to fight these inner demons.
You had good choice of words that depicted the pain and emotions very well. Words like "sickening pleasure" "head- splitting migraines" really empathised on the insanity and mental breakdown of the person suffering from some unbearable problems.
It really had a profound effect on me and I thoroughly enjoyed your writing . Keep up the good spirit and continue to amaze us !!!
Very powerful, intense poem. With just a few lines, you managed to convey all of the pain and intensity behind such a dramatic moment. I think you do a really good job of evoking emotion, specifically with lines like "head-splitting migraines" and "the heart beats faster".
I thought it was interesting that you decided to italicize the whole poem -- it almost makes it seem like this was intended to be a sort of letter, or maybe just a really poignant narration from the speaker's point of view, like we're getting a close glimpse into what they're thinking right in that moment.
Very poignant and dramatic poem. My only suggestion would be to maybe add a content warning (not sure if that's what it's called) since it potentially mentions a sensitive topic; aside from that, I personally enjoyed the poem very much.
Keep writing!
120,377 Literary Works • 649,641 Reviews
Points: 67
Reviews: 31
Donate