Published September 2, 2007
I'm waiting.
Patience is a virtue,
He told me.
I'm hoping.
Wondering if I'll survive,
All alone.
I'm praying.
That he'll come back,
One day.
I'm wishing.
Everything will turn out,
Just fine.
I'm wanting.
My father to come back,
For me.
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141,455 Literary Works • 674,468 Reviews
Hm, short but quite good. I liked the idea, it was pretty sweet.
Not much else I can say,
Mischief x
I'm actually not sure what else to say. The other people who commented on your poem said most of it. I enjoyed it. It was short, sweet and to the point. Good job!
Stephanie
wow! that was really good. ok, now hold on while i find SOMETHING to critique...
(half an hour later) aha! two things.
1. some of those middle lines don't need commas.
2. 1st stanza, 3rd line. would it sound better if you said "he once told me"??
I agree
Wow. This was nice! I enjoyed the structure of the poem and the emotion behind it. You made it just the right length because if the poem was any longer, it would've become too repetitious. Not much critisizing to do here. Keep up the good work.
-Kylan