Content Warning + Author’s Note:
This poem collection is based on vivid nightmares I've had. See stickied comment for explanations of the nightmares, in case the poems aren’t clear
Contains depictions of: gore, violence, terrorist attacks, bombing, and school shootings
~~~
1: Rotting
my family is gathered ‘round the table,
laughing and smiling with food in their mouths.
there’s nothing out of the ordinary;
it’s a normal family dinner.
*
but they don’t see it.
they don’t smell it.
unfortunately, I do.
*
I’m staring directly at it,
wanting to puke but not able to look away.
it’s the skinless corpse of an old friend,
rotting on my living room floor.
~~~
2: Towers
I watched the smoke billow out of the towers,
Like deadly serpents overtaking the sky.
*
I heard the horrible splat of bodies on concrete,
and the harrowing screams of passersby.
*
I choked on the stench and the fumes,
the taste of carbon and cruelty in my mouth.
*
I was sent to stop the attack.
I was tasked to save them all.
*
I should have come back with the victims safe and sound.
instead, I come back empty handed.
~~~
3: Missiles
the missiles never stopped.
*
not when we cried and shivered in the bunker.
not when my neighborhood went up in flames.
not when the buildings came crashing down.
not when my parents were crushed under debris.
*
the missiles never stopped.
~~~
4: November
November 7th, 2023, 7:22 AM.
that’s what they told me when they hacked into my TV.
that’s when it would happen.
the masked man told me, of all people,
because he knew how little I could do to stop him.
*
I tried to warn my friends and family,
begging on my knees for them to stay home.
my tears flowed like a river,
and my words flew out like carrier pigeons.
*
but they didn’t listen. they didn’t believe me.
in fact, they brushed me off and told me that I was crazy.
they all went on with their lives as if I had never told them.
*
I stand here now at the ruins of the school,
wishing at least one had heard my cries
~~~
5: Bang
bang bang.
frantic students stampede out of the building,
crushing their friends beneath their feet.
*
bang bang.
bodies drop like flies in the summertime,
and I’m covered in the blood of exploding heads.
*
bang bang.
by some luck, I make it out alive.
but none of my friends come out to meet me.
*
bang bang.
in a flash, I’m back in English class,
alone except for one other student.
*
bang bang.
I turn, almost screaming when I see his sinister smile.
it’s him. the one who killed them all.
~~~
6: Hate
was I not kind enough?
was I not funny enough?
was I not normal enough for you?
*
I did everything I could
to make sure my existence wasn’t annoying you.
to make sure I wasn’t a bother—
an inconvenience—
a nuisance.
*
and yet here you are,
your words like a barrel of liquid lead,
melting my insides and destroying my soul.
*crying*
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