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Young Writers Society



Desert Rose

by Geek


From the desert I come to thee,
On a stallion slod with fire,
And the winds are left behind
In the speed of my desire.


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18 Reviews


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Reviews: 18

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Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:07 pm
Sorrowspinner says...



Ooohhh, very good! Maybe you could write more for it? I'd like to know more! Unless you want to leave it to our imaginations :D




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25 Reviews


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Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:34 pm
Minniax says...



Nice! A bit short but I loved it. =]




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247 Reviews


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Mon Nov 26, 2007 4:04 pm
Fangala the Flying Feline wrote a review...



Great start! Um...could there possibly be more to this? You really pulled me in, but I wanted to keep reading. Aside from the shortness, there's nothing wrong. You have vivid imagery and a good sense of rhyme. But is "slod" a word? Did you mean "shod"?

Nice job; just see if you can make it longer.




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Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:36 am
Gadi. wrote a review...



Nice!

I really liked this one. It was full of life and really felt...well, artistic in a way.

The only thing about this is that I really think you should somehow squeeze in there a stronger image of fire--just one word describing it, it would really help, I think.

Good job overall!





"It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be."
— Albus Dumbledore