Published July 31, 2010
A rope, A gun, poison or knife.
Whatever was needed to take my life.
There was no angel to account for,
not even a knighthood boy,
to save me from harsh doings, to take my hand and run.
To watch her cry all night, what difference really would come?
I'd grabbed the chair and tied the rope, the damage is sadly done.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,415 Literary Works • 674,393 Reviews
rough time i see, keep writing you should add to it!
I love it, short and sweet. The rhyming gives it a kind of macabre, dark humour element to it. Anyways I loved it so keep it up!!! It reminded me of a Tim Burton movie. I hope this doesn't reflect too much on real life though!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxPopatemyheart
This was interesting, only a few little nit picks:
Thats it, the rhyming was a bit off but it was still good. Keep writing !
-M.
well, the 'her' part is meant to represent someone who is aware i'm going to kill myself.
It is supposed to be my best friend and even though she is in tears about the entire situation, i still proceed. I hope
this helps.
WOw! Nice representation... Hope you will agree in some of my suggestions.
PLEASE, observe parallelismI'm confused. Really, that's all I can say.
It starts, and it is pretty apparent that it's a poem about suicide. Okay, so far I'm with you. The next three lines are just as clear and present a good mood and understanding of the situation. But then the next line confuses me.
Who is "her"? Why is she crying? What is the difference you're trying to make? I really like the rest of this, but the confusion of that line kind of ruins it for me. Especially since with the very next line you go back to the mood and idea of the beginning of the poem. If you just clarified that one line, it would be very good.
This is the only poem in my collection where it rhymes, so be kind when reviewing.
Oh, and i wrote this a while back so if it's not as great as my other work you'll know why.