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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
This is... beautiful. It just has this air to it of fragile surreality, with something really sinister and soft sort of lurking in the background. Really, very lovely.
I'm not sure if I understood everything about this piece, but it was very thought-provoking. The relationship between the characters, between the characters and the stage, the characters and themselves; all very strong and moving.
One small (subjective) nitpick:
I'm not sure what time period this is taking place in (it has a wonderful timeless quality to it) but the expression "with child" seems so archaic to me and without the contraction, the whole line came across really awkwardly. I would suggest "Assia-she-she's pregnant." as an alternative. However, this is just my subjective opinion though, so do with it as you will.
All in all, this was beautiful. I loved the description and the stage direction read very well. I would love to see this performed.
~GryphonFledgling