I loved this, it was wonderfully descriptive, the way you described John was just marvellous.
But I agree with Sam on all the things she pointed out. There are a few confusing bits that leave you with unanswered questions.
The ending was a bit confusing too-I had to read it over twice-and it isn't immediately apparent what's going on. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though, I've read plenty of good novels where you get to the end and go 'wait...' and have to read back over it. So long as it does make you want to make sense of it, it can work.
Other than that, well done!
Points: 890
Reviews: 53
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