Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
(Feel free to review)
I wake up in a dark room, It’s cold, and I feel dazed and a bit confused. I feel a mask of leather on my face with three slits near the mouth and two for breathing through my nose.
—Wh-Where am I…?
I begin to breath heavily. My vision begins to come back to me. I see a blank white room, as If I were inside a white box. As I look up I notice a small metal door on the right of the wall in front of me. I look up and see a large window seeing into a dark room. I notice a harridan-like lady holding a clipboard and staring at me in disgust.
I hear a faint voice in my head, “You’re insane…” It says. “Remember how you got here…”
I notice a knife stuck in a crack of the window seeing into the dark room. I crack a small grin under the mask, making sure the lady doesn’t see. The knife should’ve been removed before a new patient arrives into the room. But lucky for me, the human race Is idiotic.
But before I begin to concoct a plan, it all comes back to me. I remember why I’m here!
Here goes…
It had been a terrible day, and I was just starting to make friends in this state. Here in Arizona, I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere. Just the perfect location for the perfect shock I was going to put upon the town. I had been in depression for the many things the people in this town have done to me. I’d been assaulted, beaten, and mugged several times. So why don’t I just move to another place? Because that very town is in the middle of nowhere for a reason. It’s a community made up of abandoned homes and dead bodies. It used to be a town, but is no longer. The government, they think we’re insane in this community. They think they can take our lifestyle away from us, they say we can’t live here. And once you try to leave, everyone thinks you are just leaving to tell the government where we are. So they can bring us out, and take us to shelters, and treat us like dogs.
But we’re not only taking illegal action, we’re all insane. Which makes it even worse. We’re the ones who have escaped from prison, and escaped from the mental hospitals. We’ve created a community together. But we’re also idiots, we’re mentally unstable and we live with people just like us with no supervision. But we can’t stand being locked up.
So one day I stepped out of my shack, knife in hand, with a wide smirk plastered across my face. And door to door, I just attacked everyone. And by the time I realized it, the entire town was gone. Except for the only man in town who owns a gun. I stared blankly at him for a few moments, and I began to run fast and far. I heard thousands of voices in my head as I ran, until I had reached the edge of the city. I was a complete mess.
And with my incredible charm they scored me a spot in an asylum. But the rest is all a blur. I look at the disgusted lady once more, and I notice her getting up to take a break. So I begin to bounce in my chair, up and down repeatedly until the knife sticking out from the glass falls to the ground. I scoot out of the chair and fall with a thud onto the floor, longing to escape. And I find a way to. So I reach my foot toward the knife and hold it between two toes. It makes my toes ache, so I let go of it.
Then I think of it. I use my mouth to grab the knife by its helve. And I bend my neck downward, using the blade to cut the first few ropes. I start to breath heavily, realizing I can.
—That feels much better…
I squirm a bit to loosen the ropes a bit more, and suddenly they begin to slide off of me. My hands are free. I then grab the knife and move the blade towards my neck.
—Now I can escape. Now I can meet the voices in my head. I can once again be sane.
And with a deep breath, I press the sharp blade against my neck, blood gushing out and dripping down my white gown. It stains quickly, and I push the tip of the knife deeper into my neck.
It is done.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
lol, so she took her own life, well you defiantly when the award for unseen plot twist.....Jack me up I swear, but I personally wouldn't have it under horror. Suspenseful yes but not really scary. I didn't fill the terror when a read it but it did have me on the edge of my seat. And please don't take my weird wording the wrong way, I truly loved this story, I just feel like its under the wrong category. My review, 4.5 stars out of five, and the only because some of your sentences was a little wordy and I had to go back and re-read them to understand them. But overall great story, the end made me knock over my chair, flip my keyboard and say practically every curse word ever.....lol I enjoyed reading this marvelous piece.
GREAT! Amazing! I loved it! I love the plot twist in the end and that the character is insane. You don't see that often and I was super excited to see that. You described things perfectly and just right on point. I simple love your work! Can't wait to go read more! ^^
Yaaay! c:
This is an amazing short story, but I think you should attempt to go even further with it. Have you thought of expanding this piece into a novel? I know some people are AMAZING with short stories, and don't even want to begin writing a book, but this already magnificent idea could become something even greater! Just giving you a little something to think about.
Is it that good? Thank you!
OMG! I love this story!! It has detail, and a great source of Imagery!
I like how each space is well set up, and how you have great punctuation, and capitalization. There are no grammatical errors ( that I saw) and the set up is amazing!
However, I have a point to this : "And by the time I realized it, the entire town was gone." I don't think your supposed to start a sentence like this. That's Ok though because almost everything else makes up for it.
One more point, when you cut your neck, at one point in your neck you can't push deeper because you are dead. Next time when you say something like this, use a little more description. As everything else has made up for simple errors, the story also makes up for this.
I enjoyed your story and I like the basic idea. WRITE MORE PLEASE!!
Bye!
OMG! I love this story!! It has detail, and a great source of Imagery!
I like how each space is well set up, and how you have great punctuation, and capitalization. There are no grammatical errors ( that I saw) and the set up is amazing!
However, I have a point to this : "And by the time I realized it, the entire town was gone." I don't think your supposed to start a sentence like this. That's Ok though because almost everything else makes up for it.
One more point, when you cut your neck, at one point in your neck you can't push deeper because you are dead. Next time when you say something like this, use a little more description. As everything else has made up for simple errors, the story also makes up for this.
I enjoyed your story and I like the basic idea. WRITE MORE PLEASE!!
Bye!