Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Hello, and... I am terribly sorry for the lack of updates/activity! Honestly I got a bit burned out, but I feel like continuing this series now. So, with that being said, welcome to chapter thirteen of "We, Cryptids". As always, I'll be tagging all entries as Action/Horror as those are the primary genres of the story, even if each individual chapter does not reflect this
"You said we were going on a trip." Holden blinked and turned to face Melony, who was busy fiddling with a stick of gum before popping it into her mouth. He and his little companion Pepper (Who was once more strapped to his chest) raised their eyebrows in unison, expecting an explanation.
"We did go on a trip. A trip from the living room to the bathroom. Legs hurtin' yet?" She blew an abnormally large bubble considering she'd only been chewing on a single stick. Its size nearly rivaled that of Holden's head.
Melony placed a candle down on the bathroom sink. She stuck out her tongue and flicked her finger against it, causing a spark that initiated a gentle, warm glow on her nail. Using it to ignite the candle, Melony ensured the lights were turned off and faced the mirror.
Noticing Holden's puzzled gaze, she shrugged her shoulders and grinned. "What's the matter, it's just flammable saliva. Don't be jealous. This is where the real trip begins. We're gonna use the mirror like a portal. You'd better take some gum, here." She waved around a stick of gum in Holden's face, asking him to take it.
"Uh... Thanks. Wait, I'd better take it? What's it meant to do? Is it magic gum? Don't tell me it's magic gum."
"No, no, it's regular old gum. Magically delicious, maybe. Y'know how when you're on a flight and the plane takes off, your ears pop and it's annoying as all Hell? Something similar can happen with mirror travel, so it's good to have something to chew on."
Holden snatched the gum from her hand and slid it into his mouth, chewing it with disgust. The taste of the bubblegum was overbearing, and he would have much preferred something mintier. Nonetheless, he cooperated and faced the mirror alongside Melony, admittedly curious to know how they would proceed from that point.
"Now, here's what you're gonna wanna do kiddo. This is another one of those ritual things, and you'd best follow the instructions exactly. If you hesitate, if you falter, you'll be met with a fate worse than death." Her eyes and face had their color drained, turning a deathly pale as if her mind raced with thoughts most treacherous.
"A fate worse than death...? You don't seriously mean to tell me," Holden began, a brief display of concern flashing across his face.
"Mhm, that's right. If you mess up the ritual, you'll have an unimaginably horrific fate bestowed upon you," Melony responded, covering her mouth with a now trembling hand. "The ritual will fail, and there'll be a cooldown. You'll have to wait a whole ten minutes before attempting it again. Travel delays, the absolute worst of the worst."
Holden had only heard half of that speech, having tuned her out as soon as he realized she was, once again, not being serious. Instead, he focused on the gum between his teeth
"So we have to hop through a mirror to arrive at our destination, a process that could make our ears pop like hell. So what about Pepper? We can't give the dog gum, dumbass."
"Awh, you can't bear the thought of your puppy having her ears upset. What a dog mom you are!" She lowered her face in front of Pepper's and blew right into it. Within moments, Pepper's eyes closed and she drifted to sleep, unconscious.
"What did you just-"
"Anesthetic breath, ya like it kiddo?" Melony questioned him, struggling to finish her sentence given her ceaseless giggling.
"You're such a show-off, you know that," Holden grumbled.
"As if you wouldn't be if you were like me!"
Melony stretched her arms towards the mirror, allowing her fingertips to gently trace along the glass surface. Her voice dropped to a hushed whisper as if she feared breaking the freshly set-in silence.
"Now, it's time. The conditions are met as we stand here in darkness. So, I want you to place your fingers on the mirror as well, and don't worry about smudging it, I'll have you clean it up later. Repeat after me, okay kiddo?"
Holden nodded and followed her instructions, placing his hands on the mirror ahead. Melony began chanting, with Holden following her lead as requested.
"Scary Carrie...Scary Carrie... Scary Carrie..."
For a prolonged moment, there was nothing. Melony smirked and pushed Holden's shoulder gently with her own.
"Don't scream, kiddo."
"Don't scream at what?"
"That."
Looking back, two gray, monstrously large hands emerged from the mirror, gripping Holden and Melony alike by the collar of their shirts. The glass rippled like water as the two were pulled into the mirror with great force, and they found themselves soon drifting into what appeared to be outer space. Although impossible to discern the exact scope of this new plane, the feeling of insignificance set into Holden, as it inevitably does when one is presented with their own cosmic minuteness. Stars, galaxies, planets, this new dimension was ripe with beautiful celestial bodies that littered the space like paint on a canvas. These forms, as grand as they were, began to stretch thin like artistic streaks as Holden and Melony accelerated forward like they were being ripped through the fabric of space by a super-charged vacuum.
Whether what he saw was illusionary or not, Holden's face began to morph and liquify as the force he felt pushing against him magnified. He saw Melony beside him, tongue sticking out and dragging along behind her mouth like a dog sticking its head out of a car window. Pepper, however, remained fast asleep even still. Both Pepper and Melony's flesh began to alter much like Holden's, as their skin and bone were transmuted into gelatin.
As they went, the window of space they occupied began to tighten and tighten like a vortex. Whatever notion of shape or form their bodies previously had was rendered little more than a joke, a comedic hush from the past. Color's once not thought possible, now boldly stretched across Holden's vision, even though his eyes felt like they'd become disembodied from his now formless self. There was no pain involved, yet his senses did not diminish. This travel had escorted him into a place of limbo, where the imagination dictated reality, and reality dictated nothing and everything at once. Was Holden even chewing gum anymore? Was there gum to be chewed? Or was it also a mere stretch of mess within the abstraction that was his "mouth"? Whatever the case, whatever philosophical inquiry one had about the essence of gum, the vortex continued to tighten all the same, stretching even further.
Time, if this realm of weirdness or thought, or both, had simultaneously slowed to a standstill and accelerated beyond belief. Within the eternity of a jiffy, the world cracked like glass before giving way and shattering. There was a brilliant white light, and then a hateful darkness, and then there was nothing at all. Out they flopped into a room with blue walls and smooth, wooden floorboards. Before them was a desk, and behind that desk was a woman. Three things occupied her station, those being a house phone, a computer, and a small handheld mirror. She was an average-sized lady who appeared to be in her mid-twenties much like Melony. Medium-length black hair flowed down her head. Her face was rather pale, and she appeared bored, really. Her droopy brown eyes lazily glanced up at the party, who were now standing upright. While Holden fought off his grogginess and prodded around for the now missing gum with his tongue, Melony leaned over the desk and addressed the woman in front of her.
"Top of the morning to you, Carrie. Long time no see!"
Carrie groaned and looked away towards her computer, clicking away at the keyboard with disinterest.
"Welcome back, Melony. I was wondering when my peace and quiet would end."
"There you go, being a joker as usual. You know you missed me, don't lie. Say, can I get your input on something?" Melony chuckled and lifted her shirt, pointing at her stomach. A silver piercing in the shape of a star hovered around her belly button. She gave it a light tap. "You think this fits me well? Yes, no, maybe so? I was super hesitant to get it, debated about it for like, all of five minutes. Real tough choice, y'know?"
Carrie huffed and took her attention off the computer for a moment, analyzing Melony with a piercing glare, and shook her head. "It looks hideous... good grief, you could've at least had the sensibilities to get a moon design instead."
With the snap of her finger, the piercing warped to fit Carrie's description, displaying a crescent moon in place of the star. Carrie grumbled and went back to typing away on her PC.
"Fine, that's better. You want a trophy or something? Now who's the kid?"
Holden stepped forward clumsily and stuck his hand out. "Holden Cauthwell, I'm... uh... with her-" He pointed in the opposite direction of Melony before correcting himself. Carrie's vision wandered towards Melony, eyes narrowing. She didn't bother shaking Holden's hand.
"Was this his first time being dragged through?"
"Yup! But don't worry, I gave him gum. He's cool."
"And the dog?"
"She'll be out for a few more hours."
"Anesthetic Breath?"
"Performed by yours truly."
Holden leaned against the nearby wall to balance himself. He looked out the window and, much to his amazement, saw miles upon miles of water. An ocean of purple extended as far as the eye could see. To his observation, the structure they were in now sat upon a large gray slab of rock. Birds, or so they appeared, flew around in the sky. Upon closer inspection, he realized that they were not like any bird he'd ever seen. They flapped around with short tree branches for wings, and their bodies were more fish-like than anything else.
"Alright, as long as the kid's with you I guess," Carrie spoke up, "I've dragged you all through over to this side, I expect that I can go back to doing nothing. The phone never rings anyway, is it even connected to anything? Well, either way, those two have been waiting for your return, Melony. Go say hello to them, or do you want me to also be a babysitter on top of being your transportation and secretary?"
Melony nudged Carrie's shoulder gently before backing away, shrugging her shoulders. "You offerin?"
"No. I'm not."
"You'd make a good one, though! You're so energetic and joyful, deep down. I see it in your eyes, you little softie."
Carrie wasn't even given time to respond, because the sound of footsteps approached with great speed. In an instant, a girl had run into the room and wrapped her arms around Melony, nearly tackling her to the ground. Melony smiled and embraced her.
"Natty! You gotta relax, my feeble heart can't handle all this love and affection." She gently rubbed the girl's head, holding her closely.
The girl released her after a few moments. Holden eyed her carefully, taking in her features. She looked to be about Holden's age. Though short in stature, standing at about five feet, three inches tall, she was clearly of healthy body. The left half of her face was like that of a typical human's, aside from her ear which sprouted small strands of grass. She possessed gentle green eyes and, strangely enough, light green hair across her entire scalp. On the right half, however, was a strange amalgamation of algae, mushrooms, and flowers. This trend branched down to her right arm as well, which held the consistency of wood. If she had a mouth, it was covered almost holistically by the plant-like substance spread across half her face. As she looked at Melony with her singular visible eye, the flowers and mushrooms on her face slowly blossomed and attained more vibrant colors.
"Who's he?" A new voice emerged from the background. A man stood near the doorway the girl entered from. He was slightly taller than Holden, and a couple years older than him too. A large, diagonal scar ran across the bridge of his nose down to his right cheek. He was massive in build, like he'd never taken a day off from conditioning his body. His blond hair was cut short, and his arms folded while he observed Holden with watchful eyes.
"Jackson, Natty, this is Holden. He's freshly awakened, and exceptionally dangerous. Even I was hard pressed to handle his moody nature." Melony also displayed her statement in sign language, and Natty nodded her head in understanding.
Holden rubbed his eyes and shot Melony a dirty look. Jackson maintained his observing stature, providing a "hmph" from his lips as he gave his attention to the newcomer. Meanwhile, Natty tilted her head and gently waved her hand. Although the flowers on her head lost a little bit of their vitality, they still remained colorful and alive, curious about Holden's presence. She approached him and offered her human hand, which Holden took and shook. Her flowers stirred and brightened slightly in response.
"Uh, nice to meet you both... wait." Holden reached for his phone and typed his message out on the notes app. He showed the screen to Natty, who proceeded to gesture for his phone. Giving it to her, she typed hastily before returning it to him.
"Ah, it is a pleasure to meet you, Holden. Thank you for showing kindness, you seem very nice. I appreciate your efforts. And please note, I am quite skilled at reading lips, so do keep that in mind!"
"Got it, thank you. Uh, Natty right?"
"You can call her Natasha." Jackson spoke in a low, gruff tone in the background. Natty tapped Holden's shoulder, signing to him once she got his attention.
"She said you can call her whatever you're comfy with, kiddo," said Melony.
"And you can call me after my break. I need a nap." Carrie leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes. She was out within seconds.
With a harsh grunt, Jackson walked forward and stood beside Natty.
"So Melony brought another stray pet back home. Great. You're freshly awakened, huh? Spent all your life being normal, and now you're here. Late bloomers like you are only good for getting in my way, or getting themselves killed. I'm not sure what Melony told you, but here's some advice, rookie. Deny her offer. Turn around, walk away. People like you aren't meant to be here, living this sort of life."
Holden clenched his fist, getting right in Jackson's face and he practically spat back his reply.
"Who do you think you are to tell me what to do? You got a problem, guy? I'll do what I damn well please. So what's the issue, you want to take this outside? Want me to punch your jaw out?"
The two stood their ground, hands balled into fists and ready to strike at any moment. Without warning, Melony draped her arm around both their shoulders.
"Kids, kids, stop the fighting! That's no way for teammates to treat each other, now is it?"
"Miss Melony, with all due respect-" Jackson started before being quickly cut off.
"I'm aware how you feel, Jackson. I'll make it up to you sometime. But Holden here, he's got a gift. Much like you do. And you and Natty are prime candidates to help him explore his gift, maybe even better than I can. Ya dig?"
For a while, Jackson remained silent. He opened his mouth to protest, but knew that nothing he'd say would be of use. He simply crossed his arms again and tapped his foot in annoyance, begrudgingly accepting what Melony said.
"Fine, but I won't like it. When this guy gets torn to shreds, don't blame me. It isn't my fault you drag weak scum back here and expect things to go well." Jackson turned and walked out the door, stepping outside onto the rocky ground. Natty gave Holden a reassuring pat on his shoulder, giving him a look that clearly read "I'm sorry about him" before going to check up on Jackson.
"What an asshole," Holden murmured.
"I never said it'd be easy, kiddo. But you knew that, didn't you? You'll get along fine, just give it time. Alright?"
"Sure, I guess we'll see. Don't expect me to hold my tongue, though. I don't just stand there and take shit."
"Sure ya don't. Just have a little patience, try not to get into a bunch of fights. Cleaning blood off the floor is annoying."
"That's your biggest concern? Why am I even surprised."
"Because you're a dummy."
"Hurts, doesn't it? That burning sensation, that feeling like you're going to die. It makes you feel alive, that torture is proof that you're real, that you're breathing. That's the cruelty of it. To make you reach that peak, only for the coin to flip and remind you that your end is near. You're a nasty bastard, you know that?"
Holden Cauthwell, a seventeen year old male standing at a height of Five feet, ten inches tall. A somewhat introverted character, he makes up for his lack of talk with his attitude and actions. Somewhat disillusioned with the world, he's learned to accept reality in such a way that grants him nigh-unparalleled clarity.
Ability Name: Unknown
Description: The supernatural ability he possesses allows him to absorb the properties of objects he touches, making them a part of himself. When pushed into high-stress/emotional situations, he tends to dip into a strange state in which his body acts on his own. This state seems to be preceded by flickering lights. Although these abilities seem clear, it still doesn't account for his ability to seemingly heal himself and others. Perhaps there's more to him and his power than he realizes.
---
"What's the point, right kiddo? What's the point in manipulating the body... without understanding what the body is, fundamentally? Enhancements, alterations, restructuring, you don't need to get what the essence of the body is to do that. Only when you expand your mind, only when you think outside of the box, can you truly understand. Understand that the body is a web of systems, and each strand of that web is intricately tied to another. Ordering it, guiding it, maintaining it. The body is a machine. A computer. A program. A series of codes and mechanisms... Do you understand?"
Her name is Melony Harper, but you can just call her the best! This Six Foot, Two Inch cryptid hunter certainly wouldn't mind that. Sometimes those around her wish she would just shut up, but that doesn't mean she will. She's been hunting monsters and annoying people for years, and there's nothing else she'd rather do. Even still, when it's time to get serious, be it a fight or helping someone in a critical moment, there's hardly anyone better suited for the task.
Ability Name: Self Subjugation
Description: The supernatural ability to dictate the composition of the body on a molecular level. The applications of this are nearly endless. Alchemy, regeneration, limb growth. Enhancements of the body to increase its physical power. Even modifications to the brain and eyes to grant the user unrivaled perception of the environment and the events within it. All that withstanding, perhaps its most deadly usage is to program the body and its parts like a computer, enabling it to act in various ways in various situations regardless of the user's manual activation.
---
"The best players in a game are the ones who shift the odds in their favor prior to the game commencing. Is it cheating? Maybe. But I won't deny its efficacy. In a game where the seeker faces almost impossible odds, what role should you play if you want the best chance at winning? The hider, right? Nah... not the hider. You'd still choose to be the seeker."
The Doll Cryptid is an intelligent, malicious foe which relies on trickery to defeat its victims. Its many body parts stick together the form an immense body, granting it an eerie gate as it glides along the walls, floors, and ceilings. By engaging in a ritualistic game of hide and seek, the Cryptid imposes universal rules which prevent it or its target from being harmed until each round is finished. It often lies about its true role in these games so as to disorient the victim. In exchange for its deceit, it must provide an equally disadvantageous rule to be administered to the game. Although the Doll must defeat its prey several times before the game ends, the Doll must only be defeated once for the opportunity of victory to present itself to the victim. Upon losing a round, the victims skin is peeled away and replaced with Doll-Material. Whenever the Doll loses a round, its Doll-Surface is replaced with human flesh, and is made extra vulnerable.
---
"Despite not being able to process what was happening, the truth of the matter was simple. Many strands of seaweed had been extended from within the thing's throat, whipping around at blinding speeds, carving apart anything they came into contact with. Their quickness and power made the claw strikes the creature delivered earlier seem slow and impotent by comparison. For what felt like an eternity, the onslaught continued. Tables, chairs, walls, and windows, nothing was spared from complete annihilation as every object became diced and split apart. Everything except the singular couch Holden had thrown himself behind."
The Seaweed Cryptid is a largely instinctual predator which attacks its enemies at imagination-shattering speeds, its weapons of choice being its claws or the razor-sharp seaweed it can spew from its mouth. Although not exceptionally durable, its strong offensive compensates for that weakness and more. This Cryptid prefers to disarm its prey with its claws, rendering them helpless so that it may drag them into the murky depths contained within the television it originates from. From there, it will proceed to violently force its eggs into every orifice of the victim after ensnaring them in endless ropes of seaweed. As these eggs deliver her offspring, they will gnaw on the still-living victim's body from the inside out, using their fleshy host as sustenance until they eventually burst out of the prey's body.
---
"Once the pup had devoured half of the sandwich, Holden meticulously reached forward, letting his fingers brush through its head and scratch behind its ears. As he confirmed its lack of aggression, he carefully picked the dog up and held it closely against his chest with one hand while retrieving the umbrella and holding it above them both using the other. Entering the complex, and then his apartment, he placed the still-shivering dog down on his bed, bundling it in blankets and sheets alike. For hours he spectated his new guest, watching until it finally stopped shivering and drifted off into sleep."
Pepper is a dog, and nothing more. There is little else to be said about her other than her pleasant attitude and tendency to nap.
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter We, Cryptids Chapter FourteenPoints:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hey FrozenEntropy! Happy Review Day!
I'm jumping into this series blind, but I feel like I chose a solid chapter to do this with! Even though we're already in chapter 13, I'm experiencing the magical transportation for the first time, just like Holden, as well as meeting a couple new characters.
Some beautiful writing here! You have a great sense of rhythm with your sentences, with a nice balance of long and short phrases. One thing I wanted to point out about this transportation section as a whole, though, is that we don't experience a ton of emotional depth from Holden's point of view. This is actually rather consistent throughout the chapter, but I first noticed it here. Four large paragraphs are dedicated to the description of the transition between realms, and I love that - a lot of it is super unique and fun with tactile descriptions that help me see and feel what Holden is going through, but all of that is only in the physical sense. How is he feeling in the emotional sense as he experiences all this? If he's just kinda numb, that's okay, but we still need to feel that too. When Melony said "Don't scream, kiddo" I kept waiting to see what Holden's emotional reaction would be, first to the gray monster hands and then to everything else, but nothing came.
Love this playful, sassy interaction!
This is good! We can see that he's dizzy and overwhelmed. More of this!
Aw, she's so sweet!
Hah, now that's emotion! It just feels really sudden, like an outburst that came out of nowhere because we received no previous indication that Jackson's abrasive personality was affecting Holden in any way. If Holden's outburst is like water coming to boil, show us first how the water started to get warmed up.
I wonder if Jackson has some past trauma with another "freshly awakened" that's made him react this way. Clearly he's very protective of Natty.
Overall, one of your biggest strengths here is the (mostly) playful banter between different personalities. Not only does it go a long way in characterizing each person, it hints at a rich history between some of them, even if it's the first time I'm seeing them interact together. Another big strength is obviously the world building, with the fun, unique powers and other surrealist magical elements.
Again, those paragraphs describing the transition between realms are really well done! Pacing-wise, it maybe could have been trimmed down, especially since it's described as being "accelerated beyond belief." That being said, I also recognize that this appears to be a significant turning point for Holden's journey and it's important to dwell in this moment and paint a picture of the new world. I would just suggest focusing a bit more on what's going on within the character rather than so heavily on the environment.
The blend of magical surrealism and playful character interactions made for a fun read. Again, I'm surprised by how well I was able to keep track of everything considering this was the first chapter I've read. I honestly never felt lost or confused. A good sign - thanks for keeping things clear!
Keep up the good work!
Wolfi
Welcome back, human! I’ve missed this story greatly, but the wait was worth it! Anyway, I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the demonic S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Melony takes Holden to a new dimension where he meets other cryptids, but is not taken kindly by Jackson, as Jackson doesn’t take Holden seriously. However, this won’t stop Holden from biting back, even resorting to having Melony intervene!
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to put a period after the word “teeth” when Holden is eating gum, but that’s just one little thing.
Chocolate Bar - The new characters seem really interesting. My favorites are Natty and Carrie. Natty because her plant origins seem really cool, and Carrie because…yes. Because her boredom is sooo relatable. I also like that Holden stood up for himself! It’s a good quality to have, but like Melony said, I hope that he’s careful…
Closing Graham Cracker - Holden is going to get proper help, but at what cost? I love that this is back again, I love seeing the characters again! Holden really does have the potential to be a villain, but I hope that it doesn’t come to that…
I wish you an amazing day/night! ^v^