Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.
Hello, and welcome to chapter eight of "We, Cryptids". As always, I'll be tagging all entries as Action/Horror as those are the primary genres of the story, even if each individual chapter does not reflect this
"Kiddo, I gotta warn ya, I find it hard to hold back sometimes. I know you're not yourself right now, hell, I dunno if you can even hear me. But this is a good opportunity. Whatever is going on with you, it seems you're operating on violence alone. You won't restrain yourself, we'll get a full display of who you are. Isn't that exciting?!"
Melony removed her glasses and tucked them neatly into her pocket. Holden had no vocal response to give. Instead, his feet pounded against the ground as he rushed forward, grabbing Melony firmly by the arm.
With a forceful swing, he threw her across the hall, walls collapsing into rubble as she crashed through each barrier. Nonetheless, both of her arms were positioned behind her, her hands serving as a comfortable cushion for the back of her head. She allowed her body to relax, her form like that of a liquid, giving no resistance whatsoever. As the twelfth wall gave way, she slid across the floor. Staring upwards at the ceiling, it was apparent that all that effort amounted to was the dirtying of her clothes.
"Damn, not the fit, now I gotta wash these tonight... Your physical strength has certainly increased. Wonder what that's abou-"
She was cut off as Holden appeared before her within a fraction of a second, wrapping his fingers around her ankle and lifting her up. As she was rendered airborne, Holden swung downward, attempting to imprint her face into the marble floor below. Instead, he grunted in pain when he found himself in that position, and it was his ankle that was inexplicably being held.
"And you're fast... the level you're operating at right now is like that of a level two cryptid. This is weird, y'know? For a kid who just learned he was unusual last week, this much development isn't typical. Are you juicing or something? I could make you pee in a cup, don't test me!"
Melony grinned wide and flung Holden upwards, sending him up through the ceiling and into the second story of the building. As Melony ascended through the gaping hole she'd created, she approached him and placed her hand on her chin.
"Don't tell me your power is that you're a meathead... don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a hard punch. But I'm sure you can do better. C'mon, show me somethin!"
Holden silently rose, the neutral expression engraved upon his face still remaining. As the two stood in a care unit, his hand moved like a blur and smashed through a nearby drawer. From it, he withdrew a scalpel, one that had long since rusted. Without hesitation, he threw the blade straight at Melony's head, the projectile slicing through the air in its horizontal position. With a sigh, she opened her mouth and caught the scalpel between her teeth. As it entered her lips, she began to chew, crunching the metal itself. She let her mouth hang open, allowing the crumpled ball to fall to the floor with a soft clink. Sticking her tongue out in a mocking fashion, she laughed, daring Holden to come at her once more. So, he did.
The lights above flickered, if only briefly. Their soft buzzing provided a gentle ambiance to the surroundings, one that could drive someone mad if they were cursed with enough exposure to it. Holden dashed towards her, throwing a punch her way. She blocked with her hand, catching his fist in her palm.
"Is that all?" Her tone was inquisitive, a genuine curiosity emerging from her. Surely there was more to it, and she would get her answer as her ears embraced the sound of blood dripping to the ground. She backed away slightly, looking down at her hand. A puncture wound had appeared, etched into her flesh. Once more, Holden ran towards her and unleashed a flurry of punches. Melony tilted her head in contemplation, raising both arms and guarding against the hooks and jabs he attempted. At the end of the combination, he lifted his right leg and kicked her calf. As the dust settled, dozens of puncture wounds manifested on her arms and calf, blood seeping from the injuries in copious amounts. Many of it landed on Holden, droplets smudging his skin and apparel.
It only took a moment for Melony to repair the damage she sustained. Her eyes glimmered with satisfaction as she got a taste of just what he was capable of.
"Damn, now that was unexpected. You really took me for a ride there. I wanna pay you back, with interest. Quite frankly, after that performance you gave me, my competitive side is starting to ramp up. Can't just let a newbie like you outdo me so easily, right? I could never save face if that happened… mind if I show off a little?"
Saliva mixed with trace amounts of blood exited Holden's mouth as Melony's foot embedded itself within his gut. He was tossed back a great distance, all from an attack he hadn't even witnessed. Through the collateral and soot left behind, Melony revealed herself. As Holden coughed and clutched his stomach, he stood up and faced her. She was pointing at him while wearing a sweet, earnest smile. As they resided in a waiting room, the windows aligning the walls showcased the stormy weather outside. Now, the night had set in, asserting a pitch-blackness that dominated the landscape. As rain abused the glass from the exterior, only the flickering fluorescents and thunderous lightning offered brief vision for both combatants.
"So what do ya think of my ability, kiddo? You've picked up on it by now, the ability to warp and manipulate the structure of my body. It's cool, yeah? Don't answer, I know it's cool. We're probably on the same page about that."
Lightning cracked once more, coating the room in a blue light. The two stared at each other. Holden's cold, careless expression contrasted with Melony's bright, beady eyes.
"Boring, uncreative people might use the power to just make their arms bigger and stronger. Slightly less lame individuals may go the next step and enhance their senses, or optimize the efficiency of their brain. All well and good, I happen to dabble in both myself, but still pretty damn basic. Then there's the alchemy side of things. Altering the molecules of the body itself. Turning flesh to gold. Now that, that's what the hell I'm talking about. But even still... BORRRINNNNGGG!!!"
The branches of trees scraped against the siding of the building, reaching out like the finger bone of a skeleton. With each pitter-patter of the storming rain, Holden took step after step towards Melony.
"What's the point, right kiddo? What's the point in manipulating the body... without understanding what the body is, fundamentally? Enhancements, alterations, restructuring, you don't need to get what the essence of the body is to do that. Only when you expand your mind, only when you think outside of the box, can you truly understand. Understand that the body is a web of systems, and each strand of that web is intricately tied to another. Ordering it, guiding it, maintaining it. The body is a machine. A computer. A program. A series of codes and mechanisms... Do you understand?"
She chuckled and slapped her palm against her forehead, looking down at her feet.
"Sorry, I tend to ramble sometimes... you get it though, right? That my ability isn't that of a simple shapeshifter. It's that of a programmer, with my body as my machine. And what's the bedrock of a program? It's code, the input and output. A sequence of if, then statements. If some condition is met, the code activates another process. This understanding, this realization, this is what it means to be a true cryptid hunter. It's what separates the strong from the strongest. What differentiates those who arrive at a plateau, from those who step off of it, only to reach new heights. To surpass your limits and awaken once more… This is what it means to sit upon the peak."
Holden began to grunt as he strained his body, still attempting to move forward. He found that no matter how hard he tried, he could no longer advance. The counter-force was so strong that he stumbled back. Once more he steadied himself and tried to push ahead, only to be immobilized the moment he began to achieve progress.
"Get this... remember when you stabbed me with your punch? Even saying that sounds bizarre as it rolls off my tongue. Bleh, whatever! The thing is, your strikes gained an element of sharpness to them, one that was sufficient to pierce me at the time. So, as you were attempting that little attack of yours, I set a condition in motion. If my blood were released from my body, it would activate a negative magnetic charge. Now, as we speak, I've invoked a negative charge within the blood inside my body. We're repelling each other. You can struggle all you like, but you'll achieve nothing, ya dork! You won't touch a hair on my head."
She giggled and observed as Holden continuously tried and failed to close the distance between them. With every grunt, with every bead of sweat that he produced, with each meaningless attempt he made to surpass the insurmountable, her grin only grew wider. Though, this display could only entertain her for a time. Like watching a hamster run indefinitely on a wheel, the boredom began to settle within her. So, she walked forward. She came closer and closer, all the while Holden was pushed back. Even with all the strength he could muster in protest, it did nothing to prevent him from being pressed against the wall, stuck between it and the magnetic pressure applying to his front. Either the wall would give way, or he would.
"Switch."
Those were the words Holden heard before he was thrown forward. His body moved on its own, gliding through the air in Melony's direction.
"The conditions are reversible, obviously. Your charge remains negative, I can't exactly control the properties of parts of my body that have been removed. At least, not beyond how I programmed them to be prior to their separation. But by flipping my magnetic polarity to a positive one, well... y'know what they say, kiddo. Opposites attract!"
As Holden entered her proximity, Melony snickered with delight, seemingly unable to completely subdue her thrill of battle. She lifted her leg and applied a kick directly to Holden's face, resulting in a shockwave of such potency that the room shuddered and the surrounding windows shattered. Holden tumbled backward, crashing through rooms and furniture. For what felt like minutes, his body simulated a rag doll, all until the attack culminated in him colliding with the final wall and exiting the building. He dragged along the ground and arrived at an isolated clearing, hitting his head and slumping down to the ground. Appearing over him, Melony crouched and looked into his eyes.
"Damn, I might've hit you a little too hard. Ya good? Hello? You need a pack of ice? Hellloooooo? You're seeing stars ain't ya? It's okay, I remember the first time I saw stars. Well, they were actually tweety birds. Didn't hear em tweet though, there was just this annoying buzz in my ear... kinda disappointing."
Holden was motionless yet conscious, glaring up at her in silence. She noticed his fingers twitching slightly as the rain pelted against them both. As they remained in the open field, Melony studied him with interest, unsure of what his next course of action would be.
"So... what's next? Our dance isn't finished this quickly, right? This has been damn good for my muscles, gotta flex em' every now and the-"
She paused as a brilliant light consumed them both. Melony glanced up, mouth hanging ajar as she witnessed a bolt of lightning erupting from the sky and hurrying toward them both like a hungry lioness chasing a gazelle. Her eyes widened as the heat of the electricity hung directly over her head, its energy on the cusp of enveloping her body. As the electricity landed, it struck the ground with unrelenting fury, scorching the Earth and charring it.
"You... damn. That was you, wasn't it? You sneaky bastard, that could've really fucked up my sweater! Count yourself lucky that I'm so forgiving."
Melony gave a soft "hmph" and set Holden down on the ground. He blinked, disoriented by their change in position. There they both stood, roughly a football field away from the lightning strike.
"M...Melony? What...?" Holden groaned, his voice strained from his exhaustion. With a bright smile, Melony patted his head much to his dismay, although he lacked the energy to swat away her hand.
"Oh, you're back kiddo? Wassup?! You made some... interesting progress tonight. I'll be sure to tell you all about it. Let's get back to the vehicle and go somewhere warm, though. Don't like all this mud and rain stuff, it's so dirty!"
"Whatever... just shut up so I can get some sleep... please."
Melony gave a gentle nod and carried Holden back to her car, laying him across the backseat. Pepper arose from her slumber and, with a wag of her tail, came and licked Holden's face in excitement. He released a deep breath and cradled her close to him, and within no time at all, he was fast asleep. As Melony drove, she glanced back at Holden through the rear view mirror, nodding her head to the tunes playing on the radio.
In Holden, she saw something special. An abundance of untapped potential contained within the vessel of a seventeen year old boy. She knew that once he discovered it, he would be something he couldn't even dream of. That upon the unraveling of the essence of himself, he would ascend to a level of clarity and strength that only a handful throughout history could realize. To start at the ground, to climb the mountain, and to even dip through valleys as he endured the process ahead. All the same, his destination, in her mind, would be like that of what she had come to reach. His ability was like that of a flower. Should he tend to it, nurture it, understand it, and even love it, then he too would become it.
The peak.
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter We, Cryptids Chapter NinePoints:
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Hello again, my friend!

AWESOME fight scene! You really set us up for something big with the cliffhanger in the last chapter, and you delivered! I love the display of cryptid bloodlust and abilities, especially on Melony's end. Likewise, Holden's puncturing punches were a cringe-worthy moment to imagine.
Okay, I was wondering how Melony could deliver anything cooler than alchemy and turning parts of your body to gold, but again, you delivered. The manipulation of a magnetic field you described, throwing Holden back and drawing him in for a hit, was so brutal! I am also very intrigued by that lightning strike toward the end, and Melony's little quip, "That was you, wasn't it?" I'm personally a sucker for electric elementals, so I would hope you build on that. Of course, that's just my opinion.
I have no complaints, it was all so awesome! Great work!
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Let us start! :>
Top Graham Cracker - Holden is overcome with rage and tries to end Melony’s life, but she isn’t afraid. She takes it as a “training moment” with him.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I could be wrong, but I think that there should be a comma after “right” when she’s asking Holden what the point is if he doesn’t understand his body. Again, I could be wrong.
Chocolate Bar - Melony was in insanely good spirits for Holden attempting to pummel her out of existence. I love how she was teaching him about abilities and how to control them while he was trying to kill her. It was interesting and fun to read. :>
Closing Graham Cracker - Holden has already has a small idea of how to hone in his powers! He’s going to come so far if he keeps trying! I’m excited for the next chapter. :>
I wish you a beautiful day/night!
Hello friend!
I saw your work in the Green Room and figured I’d check it out.
Per my interpretation, this was an absolutely amazing, action-packed addition to the novel you're working on right now. It was wonderfully paced, fit right in with the overall plot of the story, and also showed us more about the characters and what they're like, at least in regards to their powers.
If I could offer any sort of advice, I don't think I really would, but I do have a question. It's probably a stupid question, and I'm either looking too far into it or right past it, but here it is:
How did Melony make the magnetic charge work? I know there's the programming thing she was talking about, but if the programming only works for her body, how did she apply it to Holden? The quote I'm looking at for this is:
So, the negative charge is in her blood. That makes sense. But is it also applied to the blood of hers that got on Holden? That feels like the only way it could work—if it's also applied to the blood on Holden.
But once again, I'm probably looking too far into this. I understand it's fiction, but that just aroused some random curiosity in me.
But other than that arbitrary question, I saw no problems with any of this, so really good job!
If I had to pick my favorite part, it would have to be the way Melony handled the fight with Holden. She took it in such a nonchalant and yet controlled manner that it truly showed her strength and how wise she is when it comes to combat. This was shown when you said,
And then, after she took the blow like it was nothing, she was only worried about her clothes, completely unbothered by the fight that was occurring.
This just feels really cool and like an insanely well-written combat/training scene that just makes the story so much better, so kudos to you for all of that!
Overall, this was remarkable! There was great character development, and the chapter was paced incredibly well. I'm really glad you're still writing and posting your story here, and I hope the next chapter is even better than this one!
Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!
Hello, thank you a lot for reading and commenting, I'm glad you enjoyed! Basically, Melony programmed her body like this.
"If my blood leaves my body, it will immediately become a negative magnetic charge."
Her blood that left her body and smeared Holden's clothes and body automatically got a negative magnetic charge as soon as it left her body. Then, she manually made the blood inside her own body a negative magnetic charge too, hence them repelling each other.
Sorry, I know it's a bit convoluted, haha.
Yeah, that makes sense. That's kind of what I figured after thinking about it more.
But don't apologize for it being convoluted. Convoluted is fun, and it can make what you're reading all the more mentally stimulating and add an extra element of reader interpretation. Granted, it could always be taken too far, but I enjoyed this one! I don't think I'd change it at all!
Good job again on this!