Verse 1
This isn't the plan I had in mind
Of losing my best friends tonight.
I'm sorry I don't know what to do
But I guess it's over, I've acted like a fool.
*
Chorus:
I can't believe all the things that are happening
It just seems so crazy
But that's just the way it goes
And I am trying so hard to keep myself going
But it's not the end so I will fight knowing
That I'm going to make it through another day
*
Verse 2:
The pain I've caused has driven me
Out into depression's raging sea.
I know words cannot make up
What I said, they're just not enough.
*
Back To Chorus; Then To Bridge
Bridge:
I can't take this anymore
I am sorry for the things I've done
I know I have hurt you
And I know I've done you wrong.
I am asking for your forgiveness
I am asking for another chance
And I am hoping you will be gracious
So we can be friends once again.
*
Chorus one last time
*
Ending:
Life is a journey
Everything's changing
It all seems so weird right now
Life is so crazy
It all looks so hazy
It all seems so upside down
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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140,739 Literary Works • 673,684 Reviews
Hi hi ForstArmor!
ABarros here.
Ok, first of all I like this song but you could have written a few more verses because it seems a bit small.
Second, right in the second line is it "best friends" or "best friend"? I think you're talking about only one person but if I'm wrong let me know. Besides I'm not quite good at English yet. If I'm wrong then I'm sorry. o.o''
Finally, I think you should go a bit deeper in the subject. From a first read it seems to be a little bit superficial. Or maybe I'm just dumb. xD
Anyway, good work!
It is about more than one friend.
Oooooh. Thank you
Hello, FrostArmor! Nice to see your work! Let's barge you out of the Green Room!
Keep writing forever, Frost, and maybe you'll show me one of your song albums someday!
This song was great, just a few questions.
1. Was it really necessary to capitalize every starting letter? I know it is a common mistake, and I'm sure you didn't know about it before, but it drives me crazy knowing that you do it. Sorry if I'm a little harsh with my critique, it can't be helped.
2. What's your rhyme scheme here? I kind of get it, and I don't really know why only two lines rhyme, because it is so...broken when you do that. I advise you to fix it, and add a little more rhyme than your previous attempt.
3. Also, why do you have this song structure? I don't get it, much less approve. Never have I ever seen this type of format before, and I can't understand it now. Don't take my word for it, just if you agree with me, change it. I'm a little opinionated, but not much.
Most song lyrics do capitalize every letter, not really a mistake, just a matter of opinion. The rhyme seemed pretty noticeable to me. And I have this song structure because it is my song. If it doesn't make sense I am sorry, but I don't have to follow the cliche song structure to be a good song writer.
starting letter*
Yeah that's what I meant, thanks Wind.
Oh.