Published December 28, 2010
I keep having this dream, and I thought I should write it down. Every time I go to sleep, the dream carries on, something more is added. Its odd, but an awesome overnight experience.
Hope you like it.
Bubbles begin to appear around me, all different shapes, colours, and sizes.
I feel no gravity pulling me down, I float in the water.
In the distance I begin to see something.
A creature.
I squint so maybe I can see it more clearly but it doesn't work.
The creature is coming towards me, I begin to panic.
I try to swim away but my arms and legs don't seem to work.
I scream, but my screams are cut off as soon as I see what is in front of me.
I see a boy, golden hair with hazel eyes.
I know the boy isn't an ordinary boy.
He has wings of an Angel.
I cannot believe what im seeing.
But in silence we watch each other.
We float.
How I described my dream is really how I see it. It may not make much sense but I really did try.
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138,424 Literary Works • 672,118 Reviews
Hi FreshBush! Welcome to YWS.
Like both Master_Yoda and PinkShearwater have said, you need to turn this into an actual story. Some of the best stories come from dreams, if you can write it well enough. This is very intriguing, but I can retrieve little to review about, especially since this is your dream and it is so short. Expand on your character's construction (currently, you have nothing) and the same goes for this Angel. Expand on everything, have details, have characters, have a story.
When you form a story of some sort and hopefully post it on YWS, please contact me. This sounds really cool and I'd like to read and review it for you.
Happy writing!
Lavvi
Hey there! I'm Pink, I'll be doing a short review for you today.
First of all, this seems like a very cool dream. Normally, I don't usually dream or I do but I forget them. In any case, as Yoda has mentioned you have already gotten yourself an skeleton and what you now need to do is lengthen this into an actual story. Answer some of the basic questions and try making this into a story which contains a plot, some characters and a resolution. if you can't really put that together, I thought this would actually make a pretty neat poem too. Try experimenting with different writing methods and see which one brings out the best in this piece. Keep writing.
^.^)b
-Pink
Hi there,
Welcome to YWS, and have a blast of a time. It's a pleasure to meet you. If there's anything I can help with, let me know.
Now that you've drawn a sketch, you need to build a story around it. Work out what the story is going to involve by asking what scenario might make the dream a reality. What might the dream mean? How can a reader attach to your idea? Who is the boy? Who are you? You have an idea that offers infinite possibilities. It's time to build on your dream and make it a reality. I wrote an article about building stories a while ago. It's not much more than a start. It needs updating. If you'd like to use it nevertheless the link is here: www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic45759.html
Good luck and I look forward to reading the story.
Keep well,
Yoda