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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Vague or not, I think this is actually a nice little piece! The length is appropriate, and the flow is decent! I like your conclusion, as well; very bluntly stated, but it seems to hit the reader!
Good job!
I love this, it's awesome. Sad emotions, angry emotions. They swirl together and create the perfect mixture. Good job. (sorry for the pointless reply, just thought it was good and a bit gone right now)
Vague was exactly how I felt when I wrote this. And rest assured, I'll work on developing it.
I thought this was very interesting. It was a little vague, but perhaps this only adds to the, maybe, woozy sensation of a girl who just had her heart broken? Perhaps, though, you could simply make it a little more clear what this "wish" was and where it came from. I was a little confused. Is is magic? Something that only existed in their imaginations?
I think this is a cool poem, and that it should be developed.