Beautiful Beast (Chapter 1 part 1)

Slamming the door with all my might, I laid my back against it and slid to the ground. How did my father dare to accept such a proposal? Was money truly such a burden that he was willing to sell me off to some stranger? Especially one from the Deep East, those barbarians never stopped causing trouble when they visited our country. And of all places in the Deep East, the man was from Merlanje? I didn’t know any of their culture. How was I supposed to just be shipped off to a completely different world?

And Harry… What would I do without Harry? I buried my face in my hands. Harry’s sweet face flashed through my mind, his shaggy, almond hair flying about in the wind, his grey eyes shining like smooth river stones. Harry was our stable boy, a year older than I. He looked scrawny, but could handle his job very well. Tears began to spring forward, our lives as we grew up together playing before my eyes like a film. I loved that boy more than I loved myself, and I was never going to see him again if the wedding with that Eastern filth took place.

I lived in the Deep West, the beautiful country of Hinden. I could never live in a land with no grass, no trees, and no beautiful little creeks. A land filled with mountains and rock and soot was not a life for me. I got up from the floor and rushed to my window, looking at our two small and shining moons light up the grass and the broad tree leaves that swayed in the soft breeze. I could see our horse stable, and thought of Harry caring for the horses during the bright spring days. My heart ached. This was my home, and it had been since the day I was born. My spirits crumbled to nothing as the reality of the situation set in on me. I heard footsteps climbing the stairs and didn’t even bother to get up and lock the door. I recognized my father’s voice as he shouted,

“Sophia, you must marry that man if you don’t want your family to starve!”

I didn’t look at him, I simply stayed silent.

“Sophia!” He sighed, “I don’t like this either. I never thought the day would come where we’d be grasping from help from the Easterners.”

“Is there no other way?” I looked back to see him sitting at the edge of my bed with his face in his hands. He looked at me and whispered,

“I wish there were another way. Had I the chance, I would leap to it in an instant, but right now Lord Gill is the only one with the money we need. He is our only hope.”

My face betrayed me and crumpled, tears threatening to spill over as I took in the room I’d never see again, the light blue walls holding up oak dressers and mirrors, the light blue blankets on top of my bed with the wooden canopy over it. There were things from when I was a child; old stuffed dolls and fairy tale books in the farthest corner of my room behind my writing desk. They reminded me of a brighter time before the death of my mother and the complications of age. My father looked at me with pity and in a low voice told me,

“I’d love if you were to find yourself happy with Lord Gill, but if you are not, you…” He swallowed hard, “You’ll have to have him meet more unfortunate ends.”

“Do you mean kill?” I was aghast, “Why not simply divorce? Father, I’m no murderer.”

“The conditions of the marriage will be lost in a divorce. If you truly cannot bear his company, if you must escape, you’ll have to find a way to end Lord Gill.”

“Father, I-”

“Your mother spoke of a day where you would leave me with a broken heart, and I have pondered the meaning of those words for years. Now I understand.” My father’s voice was choked off and he stood up, “You have one week before Lord Gill arrives. Use it well.”

With one last look, he left my room and closed the door behind him. He had never told me that prophecy of my mother’s. I thought I heard them all. My mother was no real mystic with psychic abilities, but her sharp intuition was something as grand as humans could hope for. I sighed and removed my dress, the light blue fabric flying down to the floor. I threw off the petticoat as well, leaving me in nothing but undergarments, and went searching for the pants and shirts I used to ride the horses. When I rode those horses through the open pastures, I felt as free as the songbird in the sky. As I dressed, I thought about Harry. I wondered if he was still down at the stables. The sun was beginning to set. Hurrying out the door, I ran through the manor and out to the fields. As I came closer, I saw my black mare Riella. She shook her mane and I saw a hand reach over her neck to pat it. The hand definitely belonged to Harry. My legs moved faster, making me sail through the field and to the stables. Harry saw me and smiled, those eyes twinkling in happiness. I couldn’t help the smile that grew on my face, until I remembered Lord Gill. When my face fell, Harry’s fell with it.

“What is it?” he whispered, “Did something happen?”

I cupped his face in my hand and sighed, “After we ride to the lake, I’ll tell you the turn of events that happened recently. Come,” I grabbed Riella’s saddle and put it on, not wasting a single moment, “saddle Oiron.”

Harry did so as swift as ever, his white stallion whinnying at the chance to ride in such beautiful weather. We got onto our horses and started towards the trees at the edge of the farm, soon coming to the beaten down path we always took. Within moments the sparkling lake came into our view. Swans and ducks gently drifted on the surface, cat tails sprouting from the banks. Harry pulled Oiron to a stop and jumped off, looking at me expectantly,

“Tell me this ‘turn of events’.”

I sighed and Harry helped me off Riella’s back. Turning to look at those familiar eyes, I almost didn’t have the courage to whisper,

“I’m engaged, Harry.”

At first he laughed, expecting me to laugh with him and claim that it was all sport, but when I sat silent, his mouth fell open, “Truly? You will marry?”

A nod was all I could manage.

“To whom? Where will you be going? Will I be seeing you again?” He clasped my face in his hands and didn’t conceal a single ounce of his concern from his eyes. I choked,

“To a lord from Merlanje. I have a week here in my home before he arrives. I want to spend every moment with you, I never want to leave your side this last week,” I fell into him, my embrace tightly wrapped around his waist. His hands stroked my hair and he whispered,

“Maybe there’s an alternative. Maybe you don’t have to go-“

“I must. If I don’t, this plantation will fail and you’ll all starve,” my voice cracked and my eyes threatened tears.

“Hear me, Sophia,” he pushed me away from him and clasped my face in his hands, “we will be together one way or another. I love you. I love you more than the stars love the moon.” In a swift movement, he caught my lips in his. Flutters exploded into my heart as my hands rushed to his hair and he pulled me back to him. His hand curled into my hair, our lips crashing together with a frenzy we had never known before. It was as if all our pains and heartaches came rushing between us through those kisses, forcing us to understand each other and tie our hearts ever closer together. Without my knowing, tears had begun to slip down my cheeks. Harry noticed and stopped our kisses to wipe them away.

“Stop your crying, flower.” His gentle chuckle lifted my heart. “Everything will be well again. You’ll be happy once more.”

“You mean ‘we’.”

“I’m happy as long as I know that you’re well and strong, whether an inch of land separates us or an entire ocean.”

“But how may I be well and strong when I am bound to another man and so far from you? How?” I gripped his shirt until my knuckles turned white, not even sure what I was hoping for him to reply with. All he did was offer a soft smile and a whisper,

“I know you’ll thrive wherever you go.”

The time I had was well spent. I spent the rest of my evening with Harry and the horses, skipping stones on the lake just as we had when we were children. The ripples upon the water’s surface brought peace to my tumbled world. The ever blowing breeze snaked through our hair and cooled our skin. We talked about all the moments we had together, about the town we lived in and the old animals we used to play with when they were still alive. Our conversation made time sprint away, and soon the sun was gone. When the night finally settled in, I gazed at the blanket of stars with Harry. Their light shone down on us like a heavenly blessing. With a sigh, I got up from the ground. There was no blessing for me. Not anymore. Harry got up with me and we both mounted our beasts. Back down the path we went, and once we were at the stables we unsaddled the horses. We hurried back to the manor. Harry was to return to his room in the servants’ quarters, but I didn’t want to see him leave. As he turned to walk to his room, I grabbed him and pulled him down into a crouch with me.

“What are you doing?”

“Stay with me tonight.”

“What?” his eyes went wide, “I’ll be whipped if someone finds me with you!”

“They won’t find out, come! I want to spend at least one night with you,” I gave him my most pleading look until he sighed and nodded. We snuck our way through the dimly lit corridors until we came to my room. I carefully pushed the door open and Harry rushed inside.

“I need to change into my night clothes,” I whispered, walking to my dresser and pulling out a purple nightgown. Harry nodded, a crimson hue creeping into his cheeks before he turned away from me. I quickly pulled my clothes off, dropping them on the floor and slipping the nightgown over my head. I glanced over at Harry. His head was down and his back facing me.

“You can look now.”

“You know,” Harry smirked, “It’s a tad scandalous to see an unmarried woman in her nightwear.”

“Who cares what it is?” I smirked back, “Unless you don’t want to be here with me.”

“I wouldn’t trade this moment for all the riches in the world,” Harry came over to me, his hands wrapping around my waist and bringing me up against him. His lips caught mine furiously, hands gathering fistfuls of my nightgown. He picked me up and carried me to the bed, never once breaking the kiss. Hovering over me, his hands glided under my dress and rested on my hips. They crawled up to my breasts, gently caressing them. Suddenly, he pulled away,

“I love you, Sophia.”

I smiled, “I love you too.”

He fell beside me and took a lock of my hair between his fingers, “Somehow… I feel this just makes it harder…”

“Hmm?” I watched him twirl my hair, his face slightly crumpling.

“Your marriage… You moving so far away… I feel that it’ll just be harder for you to continue this…”

“Are you saying-“

“I’m not saying anything. I still want to be here with you, I still want to hold you every moment we have left, but I just feel that it’ll be harder… for you. My hopes will remain as high as your sails, but will you…?”

Smiling, I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck, “I’ll be fine, Harry.”

“Alright,” he still seemed troubled but ended the conversation. We got under the covers and I curled up to him, his warmth letting me sink into the deepest sleep.

The next morning, I changed into another set of pants and a new shirt while Harry slept. I shook him until he woke and somehow we managed to sneak out of my room unnoticed. Our breakfast was nothing more than a loaf of bread snatched from the kitchens to split between us. We didn’t care. My entire week went by in the same way, somehow sneaking Harry into my room, waking up to his peaceful face and continuing our adventures out in the fields and forests. I’d never explored so much of our land before. There were creeks and patches of forests that I never knew of. Harry and I even discovered a field of flowers. It was as if the gods had dropped their paints all over the ground, dazzling colors splashing the petals of each little plant. Harry and I ran and laughed together, chasing each other through the fields and hiding under the shade of the trees with the horses when the sun became too much. A few days he waited out in the stables while I bathed, and a few days I waited for him when his work wasn’t done yet. Regardless, all of our free time was spent together. For those few days, I was able to forget about the marriage, about Merlanje and Lord Gill.

The day before Lord Gill’s arrival, Harry and I woke to a knock at the door. Without a second thought, Harry jumped from the bed and slid underneath it.

“What are you doing?” I hissed.

“Hiding! Go answer the door.”

I jumped off the bed and ran to the door. My little old nurse, Kylin stood outside my room with a large black box.

“Good morning, Sophia. Tomorrow is the day Lord Gill will arrive. Aren’t you excited?” She beamed at me. I opened the door to let her in and sighed,

“Yes, simply ecstatic.”

Kylin sighed, “I know that you have your eye on that farmer boy. In all honestly, I think you two should have been together. The way you two look at each other down by the stables,” Kylin set the box down on my bed and smoothed out her little white apron, her long black dress contrasting sharply against it, “I’d think you were soul mates chosen by the gods themselves. Oh, to be in love like that again.”

I said nothing. Thoughts of a life I could have had with Harry floated before my eyes. Each smile that would never happen, each kiss we would never share, was a knife in my heart. The silence hung heavy in the room until she clapped her hands,

“Well, what I have here is a dress that Lord Gill has requested to see you in.”

“What kind of dress?” I wasn’t familiar with Merlanjian fashion, but my stomach twisted at the thought.

“Come see for yourself! In fact, we should try it on right now.”

I caught a glimpse of Harry as she sat on the bed and opened the box. He looked annoyed, if not a little panicked. I smirked at him and he scowled. Kylin pulled from the box a long red dress, with a very low neckline and long, tight sleeves. The dress was form fitting, flaring at the bottom. A small red choker with a little bow came with the dress. I sighed. Despite my bright hair, red wasn’t my favorite color. It was far too bold, and bright reds strained my eyes. I could tolerate dark shades of red, but I preferred different shades of blue.

“Let’s get you out of that nightgown!” Kylin’s voice bubbled with an almost forced excitement. The old bat just wanted to see me happy, I knew that much. It was all she ever wanted. The woman would let me get away with murder as a child. I sighed and pulled the nightgown off, letting Kylin go to work with the gown. The petticoat was heavier than I was used to. When she got the gown on me, I got in front of my full length mirror. I noticed the slits in the sleeves and the ruffles on the back of the skirt. A trim of black lace hung from the edges, and far too much of my chest was visible. My eyes shone a warm amber color, my hair shining like fire and waving softly to just below my breasts. Above all, my skin seemed whiter than white. I looked near death. When Kylin finished the outfit with the choker, I grimaced,

“I feel like a devil.”

“What makes you say that? It’s certainly not like our Hinderian tastes, but it looks lovely on you!”

“The red, the tightness and the open chest, it just looks so… Bold. Too seductive for me.”

“Pish posh,” Kylin waved my comments away, “You look gorgeous. You’ll fit right in with the Merlanjian ladies. I know the girls there will be jealous of your beauty.”

I sighed. I had no desire to be anywhere near the Deep East, let alone try and fit in with the people there. If this was standard fashion in the area, I was doomed. I loved high neck collars and blues, along with big, belled skirts, and I especially didn’t like things like chokers. They made me seem like a kitten. Like someone’s little pet. I was no one’s pet.

“Well, I hope you’re ready for tomorrow. Lord Gill is such a kind man, he sent a letter saying that he would give you a week to become accustomed to Merlanje before the wedding,” Kylin beamed at me. I rolled my eyes,

“Oh my, a whole week. How generous.”

“Now, now. Lord Gill is just that, a lord. It’s crucial that things move swiftly for the sake of business.”

“So I am nothing more than a contract,” I clenched my fists and spat out my words, “That is my only purpose in life. To be a contract for business.”

Kylin’s face fell as she pulled the dress off of me, “Sweetie, you’re so much more. Never think for a second that you’re something so simple. Whether you stay with Gill or not, I know you have an adventurous life ahead of you. Remember to try and be happy, wherever you go. And pray that no one else knows of little Harry hiding here every night,” she smirked and gave a wink, finishing removing my dress and the petticoat. My mouth fell open. How had she known? Without another word, she gathered the dress in the box and left the room. I ran to my dresser to find another riding outfit and threw it on. Once I was clothed, Harry crawled out from underneath the bed.

“There is no such thing as secrets with that woman,” he chuckled.

“Never has, never will be.”

“So… Another day of riding?” Harry hugged me from behind, his chin on my shoulder.

“This will be our last…” I couldn’t help the tears that stung my eyes. Despite my efforts, Harry saw them when he held my chin to see my face. He tenderly caressed my face, leaning his forehead against my own,

“No tears today. Not a single one. Okay?”

“Okay.”

The day was spent the same way as all the others. We rode our horses through the fields and the woods, Riella and Oiron excited to get their daily exercise. What separated this day from our others was that it was our last. Every little thing, every action, every word that we learned to take for granted over the years, became what felt like a great gift from the heavens. I held onto the sound of Harry’s voice and let it ring through my ears, making sure that I would always remember it. He stayed especially close to me the entire time. I felt so secure and comfortable in his arms that I felt the sun could never possibly go down and interrupt our bliss. But as the minutes turned to hours, the sun bid us farewell and disappeared beyond the horizon. We went back to the lake and laid in the grass. The stars shone on us, seemingly duller than usual. Were they sad for us?

“Sophia…” Harry whispered.

“Yes?”

“We should go back now. You need your rest for tomorrow.”

“No!” I gripped his shirt and pressed myself to him, “Today can’t end so soon. I won’t allow it!”

“But who are we to command the sands of time?” he gave me a broken smile, “If only I had money, a promising bit to offer your father. Then we could be together. You could stay with me in Hinden.” Harry sighed, “I’m sorry for being born in such lowly ranks…”

“Shh,” I pressed a finger to his lips, “Those are things you couldn’t control. There’s no use in feeling sorry for something out of your hands. Regardless, whether you were born to be the simplest stable boy or the grandest lord, I would love you all the same.”

He hugged me tight and breathed into my neck, “Maybe we can find a mystic that will bring you home before your wedding.”

I laughed, “We have nothing to offer them, so I doubt they would help us even if we did find one.”

“But maybe we’ll find ones that would be happy without an offering…”

“No,” reality dragged me further into misery, “it would be a lost cause. At least we had this one last week together. Harry,” I took his face from my neck and stared into his eyes, “Never forget me.”

He half-heartedly smiled, “Only if you never forget me.”

I kissed him and whispered, “Of course.”

The night was growing older every moment. Harry and I finally decided to get up and get on our horses. We rode back to the stables, and I hugged Riella tight. I knew there would be no riding for me when I arrived in Merlanje. A married woman had the household to keep up. Riella whinnied and ruffled my hair with her breath. It was her way of showing affection.

“Goodbye, old girl.”

She looked at me with shining eyes and nudged my chin with her nose. I gave her one last pat before leaving the stables with Harry. We arrived back at the house and he sighed,

“I don’t believe I can stay with you tonight.”

“No,” I felt my lips pull into a small smile despite my sadness, “Lord Gill will be here tomorrow and I need to prepare.”

“I know,” Harry stared at me for a moment, completely silent. His gaze told me nothing of his thoughts, but all of his emotions. I could see the heartbreak, the anxiety, the longing. His face quivered in attempts to stay composed. It made my heart all the heavier. I pulled him into my arms and hugged him tightly, letting out a sigh as he returned it with an equally tight grip.

“I’ll write you, I will!” We broke our hug and I clasped his face in my hands. He held my hands, smiling,

“I’ll have Kylin help me respond.”

We both chuckled and stood there, not wanting to part ways. Eventually we were forced to. I gave him one last kiss before heading up to my room, listening to his soft footsteps continue down the hall. A hole was left in my heart. There was nothing left to do but lock myself in my room, prepare for bed and hope to fall asleep before the sun came over the horizon. Sleep came after some time lying in bed, and no dreams took me to a better place.