Urgh.. I don't know what I can add without simply repeating what the other posters here have already said.
Anyway, it's a nice poem. Nice... just nice. I agree with all of Gahks' points, and you just really need to add to the poem or make it more descriptive. Paint a picture in our minds.
All I can really say is to experiment with the poem to make it more enlightening and exquisite.
Points: 890
Reviews: 61
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