z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

First few chapters of Springheart!

by Foxyfiddler


Prologue:

As I gaze out over the land, dragons of ice and fire fly about, unaware that things are going to change drastically in the kingdom. I know I must leave home, but it will be no easy feat. King Draco wants me to succeed and assume the throne. If he knew what I am about to do, he would disown me and all of Draconia would resent me. But this kingdom no longer calls to me. I am a runaway, intent on leaving and never coming back. I am airborne. I am free. And nothing can disturb me any longer.

Signed,

Dragon, Heir to the throne of Draconia.

Chapter One

The Story Begins

Dragon lived in a cave in a big forest full of friendly animals but also full of dangerous enemies. Dragon was a green dragon with sharp teeth, scales, and an arrowhead-shape at the end of his tail. He had spectacular red wings that glowed in the dark and his claws were as sharp as daggers. His worst enemies were a pack of vicious wolves. The leader of them all was Sire. He had threatening red eyes and a scary howl.

Before Dragon came along, Sire ruled Shadow Forest through fear and intimidation. None of the woodland animals were safe or happy under Sire's reign. He killed any who disobeyed him. But then Dragon saw how miserable things were for the animals of the kingdom. So, he challenged Sire in a duel. Sire accepted and came face-to-face with Dragon, determined to destroy him and keep the kingdom for himself. But In the battle, Sire lost his tail when Dragon blew fire at him and the animals all rejoiced when the wolf fled to the kingdom of the Underland. Shadow forest was free from strife for many weeks, and went into hiding in his cave, never to come out again.

But Sire wasn't done with Dragon. He wanted to have revenge. But whenever he and his pack would try to sneak into Shadow Forest and take it back, there would come from Dragon's cave a loud “ROOAAR!” and burning hot flames would come racing out of his mouth. The other wolves were too afraid to face Dragon like Sire had, so they would run away with their tails between their legs. “Fools!” Sire would say. And then he would have to face the mighty Dragon by himself. But the wolf leader was no match for Dragon. No matter what he did or how hard he tried, Sire could never beat Dragon, whether in battles of the wits, or duels of talent. Therefore the two enemies were at war.

Now, Dragon did not know it, but at the top of a high Hill with a waterfall trickling down it, there lived a small orange fox whose name was Martin. Martin had large ears that stood up high on his head. He had black, short legs and eyes of wild emerald fire. For as long as he could remember, Martin had had great trouble with the nasty Sire and his pack. They were always searching for him and trying to kill him. Martin didn't know why.

Then word got around that Sire had a rivalry, and Martin was exited! Animals were saying that it was safe to walk around Shadow Forest now because a fierce, brave dragon was roaming around, keeping the wolf away! Martin climbed out of the den and out into the morning light to see if the rumors were true. It was pleasant for once in his life not to have wolves immediately ambush him. The air smelt of freshly fallen rain. Birds were singing. Not a single wolf was in sight! Martin padded away from his den, his heart filled with joy. He dashed off into the woods, running faster and faster. His home was far away now. The world was his to explore! Then Martin tripped on something. He fell down a ledge and landed painfully somewhere far below.

He got up and looked around. His cheerfulness was gone. He was in a very dark, very strange place. The trees seemed to sag sadly, and the earth beneath his paws felt hot and crackly. Somewhere, not far away, a volcano bubbled to life and shook the ground. I’m in The Underland. Martin realized. I do not belong here. Snap! Snap! Snap! Something was running through the dead twigs that lay around the trunks of the old gray trees!That same something became a group of somethings which turned out to a pack of wolves. When they saw Martin, they changed their course, heading right for him. “It's the fox! Get him, get him!” One wolf was faster than the rest and bit Martin’s neck, throwing him roughly across the ground. The others barked in satisfaction. “Dinner and a show!” laughed the fastest wolf. A cheer started to ring out among the wolves, each one lifting their head to howl. The fastest wolf moved toward Martin again.

“Wait.” Martin said. He got up shakily.

“Ha!” said the fastest wolf. “I'm Spearhead, Sire's second in command. Why would I agree to wait when I can kill you now and be promoted to captain?”

Martin was frightened but he had to do something. “b-because! I'm no good to your master dead.”

“He wants you dead or alive. He doesn't care how we bring you to him.”

Martin closed his eyes. He knew he was in for it. There was no escaping his fate He was going to die, right now, when he was only just starting to live. Then he heard something. It was a low, recurring sound which resembled a roar of a lion. Martin’s ears perked up. The fur on his neck prickled with excitement and fear and wonder. He opened his eyes. The wolves were scattering! They weren't going to kill him after all! He ran as quickly as he could out of The Underland and back into the familiar woods of Shadow Forest. The smell of damp pine needles hit Martin’s nose, and he knew he was safe. Then the roaring sound came again. Martin turned and ran up his Hillside, his heart pounding crazily inside his chest. He slowed when he reached the top, and then he peered out across the land. That’s when he saw it. Smoke, trailing out of a cave like it was a chimney. And—oh! Martin stared with astonishment. Sire, the very fiend who Martin feared, was backing away from the cave. Martin shifted back and laid out as flat as he could against the ground. He was hidden, but he could still watch. Sire stopped retreating. He barked, “come out and fight me!”

Something inside the cave snorted a big black cloud of smoke and came marching out. It had large wings and pointed teeth. Martin’s eyes widened. A dragon! There really was a full-grown dragon right here in Shadow Forest! Martin had never seen one before, but right away he thought that this one was the most magnificent dragon that ever existed. Martin lifted his head out of the grass and watched closer. The dragon laid its eyes on the wolves and snorted again. Martin couldn’t believe what he was seeing! The dragon was rearing up on its hind legs, opening up its mouth, and—and sending out flames of red, gold, orange! That dragon scared that nasty wolf right out of his mind, and they fled back to their kingdom without a single look back. Martin was quite impressed. He roused himself from the ground and gawked like a fool. Now that was courage! he watched the dragon smile victoriously and saunter back into the cave. Martin was still for a moment, as if he’d been turned to stone. Then he smiled a very fox-like smile. He had an idea. An idea that just might solve his wolf problem. He was going to try and become fierce like that dragon! And he would start first thing tomorrow morning.

Chapter two:

Martin meets Dragon

Morning came faster than expected. When Martin awoke he needed a drink of water, so he staggered out of his den and came upon a pond that he drank out of gratefully. When the ripples cleared, Martin stared at his reflection and tried to look as fierce and unafraid like the dragon. He even bared his teeth. But it was no good. The pond only showed his shadow. He moved away from the pond and spotted a squirrel on a tree trunk nearby. Aha! A test subject! Martin walked up to it, all the while growling as fiercely as he could. The squirrel darted up the tree .“Gee! Gee, gee, gee!”

Martin’s face dissolved back into its friendly nature. Well, he thought. I certainly scared it. But his growling wasn’t going to be enough to frighten the wolves if ever they came back. He needed more tactics. That's why he was going to ask that dragon for help.

It snores smoke. Argued his common sense. And breathes fire. But Martin ignored his common sense. He held his head high and began to walk down his Hillside to the dragon's cave. What are you doing? Echoed his common sense all the more loudly. Are you insane? “No.” Martin answered out loud. “I’m not insane.” Will the dragon be friendly? “Probably not.” Scary? “Yep.” Should you even be doing this?

But his thoughts came to an end when he tripped over a rock and rolled down the Hillside. It hurt. A lot. He said “oouuuuch,” the whole way down, and then “Oof” when it ended. After a moment, he stood up and shook the dust from his fur and continued on his way to the dragon's cave. For the dragon the cave was a perfect home, but to Martin it was like a palace. There were two giant lanterns hanging from the cave wall, swinging softly in an unseen wind. Martin’s eyes were glued to them, which would explain why he bumped right into the giant foot of the dragon. Now Martin’s eyes left the lanterns. He gazed up at the dragon and he was amazed to be so close to such a big creature for the first time. The dragon’s head was as big as Martin himself. It snored strong, black smoke that filled the cave with a burning metal smell. When it exhaled deeply, every scale on its head clicked forward. Martin swallowed. Walk away. His mind nagged. Get out before he eats you! “No.” he whispered back. The dragon grunted and turned onto his back. Leave now! Martin’s mind practically shouted. But he wouldn’t. He still needed to be brave. You aren’t brave! Objected his mind. You’re being stupid! Martin’s ear twitched and, very cautiously, he stepped forward. Now the dragon sighed. Martin’s mind tried one last time to get him to leave. You’re nuts! Get out, already! Martin gritted his teeth. “No!” he said. Suddenly the dragon opened one eye. Someone was in his cave and was making a lot of noise.

Martin took a step back and the dragon’s eyes found him. It raised its head, making a grinding sound throughout its neck.

“Who are you? You look like a wolf. But you're much too small. A coyote maybe?” both of the dragon’s eyes were now staring coldly into Martin’s. Martin gulped and said,

“Yes, sir. I mean no, sir. That is, I am not a wolf, sir.” Martin’s ears fell back and he took a breath. “I am a fox. My name is Martin, and I live on the Hillside. I think you are really cool, and I want you to teach me to be a dragon!”

The dragon raised an eyebrow. “You want to be a dragon?” he laughed a cold, throaty laugh. “But you're a fox!”

Martin sighed. “I know. But I’m in a bit of trouble, Mr. Dragon. You see, there were these wolves who've been bothering me--” “Ha! Join the club!” Dragon scoffed. Martin was startled. “what?”

“Nevermind. Please continue.” Dragon said, waving his paw.

“Well, Mr. Dragon, the wolves are bullies and they have been hunting me for years. I have been running from them all my life to keep from being thrown about or killed.”

“Oh really?” the dragon said. “That's called being a pushover. And an idiot. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in the mood to sleep not talk.” then he turned around in circles and laid down, facing away from Martin. Martin was annoyed by this, and insulted. Seeing he was availing nothing, he turned to leave but accidentally stepped on the dragon's tail in an attempt to leave to cave.

“Ouch!” Dragon roared. A rage of fire rushed out of his mouth. Martin ducked only to get some fur singed off his head. Martin brushed a fire-spark from his nose and smiled bashfully at the dragon. Dragon glared at Martin.

“Sorry!” said Martin. “I was just trying to leave!” he turned and started to walk away again.

“Hold your furry fox tail! I did not say you could leave!” said Dragon. Martin paused and grinned as he turned back around.

“Okay.....so now what? Are you going to teach me to be a dragon?”

Dragon stood. “Alright, yes. I, Dragon of Draconia, will teach you. But first thing's first. Where did you learn to dodge fire like that? When it came at you, you ducked as if you knew what was going to happen, and the flames hit a wolf who was standing behind you.” he saw the expression of surprise on Martin's face and laughed. “You didn't even notice, did you?” Dragon was so amused that he rolled on the floor with a fit of laughter. Martin rolled his eyes, humiliated.

“I know. I'm hilarious.” he said sarcastically. After a while Dragon stood and wiped away some happy tears. “I haven't laughed like that in years! You’re a funny one, I’ll give you that.”

Martin was puzzled. He didn't want to be funny. “Mr. dragon—”

“Just Dragon, please.” Dragon said.

“Dragon,” Martin corrected. “will you help me or not?”

Dragon chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. “A fox with a sense of humor and spunk!” then he cleared his throat. “Alright, Martin-the-fox. I’ll be glad to give you some dragon-y advice.”

Martin breathed out the breath he didn’t even know that he had been holding.

Chapter Three:

The Lessons Begin

“We’ll start with the basics,” Dragon said. “I mean, obviously I can’t teach you to be a complete dragon, but I can give you advice on how to act like one.”

Martin stood up tall and smiled. They were out of the cave and in the middle of the forest. All was quiet.

“One thing to remember is the Dragon Pledge. No fear! Fear is a must-not! You cannot not be timid, either! One must be confident in order to stand up to their enemies. No Shyness! Being Shy is—”

“But I am shy!” Martin said.

“Well, stop being shy! And stand up taller, Martin.” Dragon ordered.

Martin stood up straighter and tried to look frightening. Then he jumped, just to make it clear to Dragon that he honestly couldn't stand any taller, but on his way down, he crashed onto his nose.

“Ow!” he said.

“Did I sayjump? No I did not.”Dragon helped Martin up while sighing at the fox's stupidity.

“I was tryingto show you that I was standing as high as I could.”

Dragon grumbled to himself about the bother of young minds and the incompetence of youthful foxes. “You need attitude, Martin. Let’s work on your facial expressions.”

“My...facial expressions?” said Martin.

“Yes. Bare your teeth.”

Martin grinned brightly.

“No, bare your teeth, Martin. It looks like you're trying to smile and failing.” Dragon knitted his eyebrows as Martin made silly faces at him. “Now you’re wincing.”

“How about now?” Martin put his teeth together and opened his eyes wide.

“If you’re trying to look like a moron, then you’ve succeeded.Otherwise you are failing to look tough and must work on your fierce face, or the only thing you’ll do to those wolves is make them combust into laughter and then kill you.”

“Okay, so I’m not good at looking scary. But what about growling? Just earlier I made a squirrel say ‘Gee’ when I showed him my growl.” said Martin.

“Well, you’re not going to see this dragon say ‘gee’. But please, try your best.” Dragon said.

Martin nodded. He lowered himself into a play bow and…

“Stop, stop, stop. What do you think you’re doing? Surely these wolves aren’t little puppies ready for playtime?”

Martin pulled himself back up and cocked his head. “But this is what I did to scare the squirrel.”

“Well, don’t. Just show me your growl.”

Martin was puzzled, but he obeyed Dragon’s order and growled.

Dragon shook his head and flapped his wings with impatience. “No, little fox! You sound like a dying dog!”

Martin was feeling cross now. “I feel like I’m dying! You’re not making this any easier!”

Dragon folded his wings back up and he brought his feet down. “You have much work to do.”

“Then can I stay at your cave until I get better?” Martin asked.

Dragon thought about this for a little. Then he smiled. “Well…I don't see why not. Those wolves will probably try to harm you again, if you don't give them your food, right?”

Martin nodded, feeling worse and worse.

“Tell you what. You amuse me, and I don’t exactly like the idea of you get pushed around. So if you pay attention in my next lesson and try to listen carefully, you may stay.”

Martin’s feelings were hurt. But he really didn’t want those wolves to return. His paws still hurt from running so hard.

Martin took in a breath. “I’m ready.”

Dragon smiled mischievously.

Chapter Four:

Dragon Helps Out

Dragon could sense there was something different about Martin. It wasn’t in the way he stumbled about like a oaf. It wasn’t the fact that he had no fierce side whatsoever. No. it was this; normally, foxes have very sly spirits with black spots on their hearts. They crave combat and tricking other animals into traps. Martin craved none of these things. And rather than having a heart with black on it, he seemed instead to have a heart that was completely good. Dragon hoped to teach Martin enough self defense by the day’s end. Then he could have time to himself again and perhaps have something to eat. “Our very first lesson will begin now.” Dragon said after a while. Martin watched a butterfly flutter about until it at last found a lilac bush to settle upon.

Ahem!” Dragon said sharply.

“huh? what?” Martin asked, swiveling to look at Dragon.

“We must get to work on making you at least sort of fierce, and we can’t possibly do that if you can’t stay focused.”

Martin stretched. “I’m sorry.” he yawned. “I’m not used to thinking hard about a certain thing for a long period of time.”

A yawn? Really? Dragon couldn’t believe Martin was so bored. Didn’t he see how hard Dragon was trying to be patient? “Listen up. My alone time is precious to me. So I’m going to need you to concentrate!”

Martin tore his eyes away from the deep, blue sky and grinned at Dragon. “Sorry. It’s just that sometimes I look into the sky and I can’t help but see how tiny I am. Don’t you ever feel like there could be more out there than just Shadow Forest?”

Dragon grunted. “There’s plenty more out there. But that’s besides the point. What matters right now is that I’m giving you everything I’ve got and you’re…well…visiting Jupiter!

Martin’s fur swayed in the breeze. He had not been visiting Jupiter. He had been visiting Imagination World. He went there sometimes, when intelligent animals begin to talk to him about intelligent things. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You have my attention now.”

“Alright. So tell me this. What did you discover when the wolves attackedyou?”

Martin cocked his head. “They were strong. And cruel.”

Dragon smirked. “I see. So you had trouble fighting back?”

Martin’s back itched with tension. “there were at least twelve of them. And only one of me.”

“I see. So why did you agree to let them come back every week and bully you?”

Martin bit his bottom lip. “It saved me, didn’t it?”

“Ah, but not forever. They’ll be back, fox. And you’re going to have to be ready when they do.”

Dragon flicked his tail, revealing the sharp point at the end.

“What do you have in mind?” Martin asked.

Dragon’s scales clamped tightly all the way around his body. His chest lowered to the ground, and he began to circle Martin silently. Martin forgot all about the not-so-scary dragon he’d met earlier. Dragon’s nostrils flared as he breathed, and his lavender, dark eyes intimidated Martin greatly.

He began to contemplate his life’s choices. Would Dragon actually hurt him? Or was this just a test to see if Martin had what it took to be brave like him? Dragon leaped forward. He whipped his tail at Martin and knocked the legs out from underneath of him. Martin tripped instantly and slid clumsily onto his side.

“Huh.” said Dragon. He flew into the air and looped around, getting ready to bolt downward upon Martin.

“Stop!” Martin cried. “Don’t kill me! please, please don’t kill me!”

Dragon pulled up short, flapping above the ground with puzzlement. He moved forward and landed first with his back feet, and then his front.

“I apologize. I grew up with dragons like me who were born to fight and conquer. But maybe you need something a little less extreme.”

Martin shuddered. “maybe I do.”

Dragon stalked away to his cave. Then he came flying out again, a king of the sky with his red wings stretched out on either side of him. He brought out something that Martin had never expected to see.

“This, I think, should do the trick.” Dragon dropped the thing in front of Martin.

Martin stared at Dragon. It was a mouse. A big, grey wind-up mouse that had wheels on its belly.

“A toy?” Martin said.

“There’s no need to be rude. This is a very old toy and I think it is exactly what we need to help you defend yourself.” Dragon set it on the ground and twisted the key inside its back. Then he let it race across the earth, where it managed to keep upright even though there were rocks and roots to bounce over.

“Pounce it, Martin. Pounce it like a fierce dragon!”

Martin shook off his sleepiness, and did what he was told. He sprang after the wind-up mouse and caught it in between his paws. It squirmed and its gears continued to whine. But it couldn’t escape. Martin turned his head to Dragon.

“I did it!” he said.

“Good. Very good. It’s not a huge progress, but at least you didn’t let it get away. Why didn’t you react the same way when I moved in to strike you?”

“Because. I freeze up. The mouse couldn’t have done anything to me because it was fake. But you’re a real dragon with daggers for teeth and chainmail for skin. I froze up because I sincerely thought I was going to die.”

“I see. But in real life, your enemy will not be so merciful as I was. Especially if that enemy is a wolf. You can’t just beg for mercy and expect them to stop.”

“I know that.” Martin said. “and if youcan’t help me become strong, then I’m doomed.”

Dragon stiffened. “You are not doomed. I want to help you. But I’m going to do it my way, and you’re going to have to trust me. So are you willing to learn?”

Martin was befuddled. He wanted to trust Dragon. He was cool. And awesome. And everything Martin wasn’t. “Yes.” Martin said at last.

“Alright. Then here’s a little tip I taught my brothers and sisters when we would combat each other. When someone is coming for you, turn around and tell them what you think of ‘em.”

Dragon glared at Martin and shouted, “Hey, you brute! Not another step, you hear?”

Martin nodded and trembled a bit. You wouldn’t want to be on this dragon’s bad side!

“Now you try.” said Dragon.

Martin widened his stance and flicked his tail. “Get away you loathsome beast! You scum of the earth! You uncultured swine!”

Dragon’s eyebrows shot up. “Um, sure. Whatever. Next you’ll show them that you mean business. If they try to come at you,” Dragon jumped forward and pushed Martin to the ground in three seconds flat. “Knock ‘em dead. Growl. Show them your dangerous face. Only if they accept defeat do you step back. If they run away, good. If they try to come at you again, stay on your paws and make with the claws. Got it?”

“Stay on my paws and make with the claws. Yeah. It’s catchy, actually.”

“Excellent. Then you can do that to wolves the next time they show up to bully you. Only you'll have to be a bit more aggressive.” said Dragon.

Martin looked timid. “I don’t like being aggressive.”

Dragon scratched his chin with his claws, a sound that made Martin cringe. “Well, it’s different when you’re protecting yourself from danger.” he said.

Martin shook his head. “I would rather just stick to calling them names.”

Dragon ruffled his wings and shrugged. “It’s your choice.”

So Martin tried to do everything Dragon had taught him. First he pretended to yell at the pack of wolves. “Scram you cads!” Then he tried desperately to knock Dragon to the ground by running under his feet and nipping at his wings. Last but not least, he made sure to growl at Dragon just for the fun of it, then sat down abruptly with trembling legs.

“How did I do?” he asked breathlessly.

“Better.” said Dragon.

“I’m ready for more!” Martin said.

“No, that’s enough for today. I’m taking a break for supper. You can join me if you want.”

Martin accepted the invitation. After all, when would he get another chance to eat with a dragon?

They went inside just as the sun began to set.


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16 Reviews


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Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:10 pm
Dragonthorn wrote a review...



Greetings fellow writer, I am Thorn, and I'll be reviewing this work of yours. Sit back and buckle up because I am speeding into this one.

I believe that putting several chapters into the same number of works is unneeded as you can put them on their own, but I do see that some areas are shorter than what a chapter usually would be described as, so that would need some editing to breakup ideas and paragraphs, also to add more as a chapter is normally on the longer side of the spectrum.

---> With talking about the spectrum of writing, this would most likely fall towards the front, or the unoriginal side. Originality is seen in the dialogue between the main character and even those who don't have many parts, the format choices and how layout changes the professionalism, and lastly the whole theme can play a major part in adding another atmosphere of developmental help.

---> Chapter names aren't exactly needed to be that cared about, but you should at least put some effort into making it the slightest bit of creative. As the other person also mentioned, they're quite hard to see in the mix of words.

---> This is what really got on me. The dragon's name is Dragon. What? That is so odd because it really shows a lack of world building, character plotting and fleshing out, and it almost seems like a place holder for another name, which wouldn't be that great for a published work here as it shows an elementary mindset.

If anything is weirdly said or just confusing, please don't hesitate to ask me because I'd be fine with helping out.

Catch you later.




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Reviews: 120

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Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:34 am
Overwatchful wrote a review...



Hello, Stormblessed here!

This was a fun story to read! Its light and fun, but attention catching. I can't wait to read the rest! One thing I would recommend (since this is a long read) is break it up into smaller parts, like maybe two chapters instead of four.

I only found a few mistakes.
There are a few places where you are missing a space between words. If you just go over it again with a critical eye, you'll find them.

Ok, a bit tongue in cheek, but I don't think dragons have eyebrows. Maybe try "Dragon looked skeptical"

This would be a bit easier to read if you put the chapters and their titles in bold print

Other than these, i think this was great! I hope you come out with the next part soon!

Hope this helped!
Stormblessed242




Foxyfiddler says...


Thank you for the tip! You know, I%u2019ve been having a lot of trouble with this story. I get lots of advice and ways to correct it. But your advice was super helpful! I will go through and fix some things. I hope to submit a couple more chapters today. Again, thanks!




Powerful men have a way of avoiding consequences.
— Dr. Harrison Wells, The Flash